Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

Release the Secret, Release the Pain

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There are deep dark secrets no one wants to talk about. We’ve all had them and may have believed sharing was forbidden. Shame says we are to blame. Peace takes a back seat to shame and has us wearing our feelings on soul’s edge, always there ready to direct us, keep us in bondage. After all, strong black women have to keep it together even if we’re in prison. Well, I know prison was never meant for me so I let my secrets out. They ran from me and into the arms of those who needed to embrace my story to help them release theirs. When I let my secrets loose so too went my soul, and others’, free from the enemy’s lies about who I am and what I’ll never be.

Freedom is sweet when you can speak the truth and not allow what happened define you in a negative light. The future is always bright for believers in Christ, for faith stands and provides penetrating light for needed transparency. This is the case, I believe, with my latest EEW column that begins below on protecting our children from sexual abuse. Please read, glean and offer your insights and questions in the magazine comment section. As always, please feel free to comment here on the blog, too.




She didn’t think anyone would believe her. He told her this, said they would believe it was her fault, that she wanted to play their game, that she would shame her name. So she shrunk in silence, only the tears crying out her pain during their touching game. Maybe the abuse occurred a few times, but she was forever changed.

We have heard this before. Some sexual predator targets a child, our child, and we find out about the abuse long after it stops. Our once outgoing child now seems nervous and scared. Perhaps she doesn’t want to visit with a certain relative, is acting out in school, is sexually active or is chronically depressed. We don’t understand the behavior, then the child finally reveals the unmentionable happened to her. Maybe it was her father, stepfather, uncle, cousin, pastor or his neighbor. Little girls and boys are being sexually abused right in our midst. Somehow some of us don’t think it’s supposed to happen to us. We’re good church folks and this doesn’t happen, shouldn’t be happening, to us. So when the abuse occurs some of us perpetuate the cover up. We don’t want it said that it happened to our family. Then some of us are unknowingly complicit; we sit in silence because we just don’t know what to do. Read the rest at EEW Magazine.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#461-470
Showering and dressing the boys without stress
A meeting that provided much-needed revelation
Having a breakthrough moment with a friend who challenged me to interrupt her to talk about me when she is talking incessantly about herself
Folding all and putting away most of the laundry
A shower before Justus awoke and without interruption from Nate
Devotion time early with Nathaniel
Visiting my grandfather and giving him water and reading John 1 to him
Attending Science Night at Joshua’s school and hearing him say, “I wish we could stay here. I’m loving this.”
All the boys competing then taking turns to kiss Flynn
Carla calling to check on me

Reluctant to Come

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The clock rang and I barely heard it, calling me to get ready for the Early Risers, the 6:30 Sunday morning prayer service at church. I rolled over, tried to sleep another 40 minutes, but the call and commitment to go pulled harder than my comfortable bed. I debated, contemplated texting that I didn’t feel well enough to come, though I was expected there. I got up, even though prayer just didn’t seem that important. Through the mumbling of thanks in the shower, the slipping on of clothes, the wrapping in my bear coat, covering with my hat, gloves and boots, I bare the day, drive, get there and determine to stay in the moments.

The brothers greet me at the door, commenting on outer warmth, not knowing the cold that still chills my soul. I sit and quietly bow, pray forgiveness for wanting what could never soothe my soul like the soul-cleansing work of talking to Jesus. And we all know this, us gathered here to press into God’s presence, to seek His face to heal or give guidance to what we face. We know we must seek Jesus in the way we know how. So the brother with the jive, who jiggles, reaches, almost dives, gets all the way live for Jesus, is there. The wailer, who drowns, covers all our prayers, is there. The shouter, belly gutting hallelujahs enough for all of us, is there. The singer, melodiously speaking her thoughts to God, is there. The repeater, rhythmically rumbling the same phrases, is there. The pastor, homemaker, government worker, full-time encourager, the hugger and crier have come. We’ve all come, weathering our storms, holding on to cling to the One who wakes us and stays with us all day. For this bunch, I am thankful.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#411-420
Hosting unexpected guests
Forgetting that I was supposed to have “me time” away from the house today
Flynn grocery shopping and buying dinner so I didn’t have to cook
Getting to bed before 11 p.m.
The children going to sleep without a fight
Awaking with little anxiety about the long day
Recording six vlog takes before I had to go see about Justus
Not fretting when I couldn’t find my old computer CD files and remembering that they might be on my desktop (and they were)
Not fretting about the possibility of losing my work when the Internet was tripping
Seeing that my video upload was complete after the Internet was tripping

God’s Grace in the Pace

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His calendar was full, no room for extras and that seemed to mean no room for extras for me. But I had extras, too. My husband worked his 9-5 each day and on Monday he taught at night; Tuesday he studied at night; Wednesday he administrated at night; Thursday he met at night; Friday he ran a program at night; and Saturday he ran out of gas and I ran out of memory. It was a marathon week, with Flynn gone and me doing an interview and writing a speech on top of my blogging and daily homemaking and childrearing duties. Even with our race we didn’t feel misplaced. We know that God extended His grace to get us through the week and keep us on good terms with some of our best friends who we completely forgot we were supposed to hang out with Saturday evening.

I felt awful that I forgot, that I disappointed my friends and wouldn’t have the pleasure of their company, hers in particular, that I had been looking forward to all month. I felt awful that I felt awful and couldn’t push my body to have dinner with her, to have a moment reminiscent of our pre-children leisurely lunches. My friend didn’t snap at me, but forgave me, knowing that forgetting “is not something that you do.” She knew the week was a lot and she knew me a lot better. I needed her grace, especially after my website went down and it was hard for me to calm down about it. With the help of my webmaster and a hired one, my site was back up within a few hours and should be completely up-to-date soon. All is God’s grace. I say a BIG THANK YOU to God for His grace. This is the only thing that will keep you, no matter what your pace.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#31-40
Finishing my blog post uninterrupted
God for giving me a blog post
My husband for cooking
A relaxing day
A productive day
That my children like fruit
Not having to cook dinner
Another snow day
The Michigan Right to Life (RTL) Speaker Series
Being able to attend the RTL Life Speaker Series event at church alone

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

Happy Thanksgiving

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“In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

    Give Thanks!

I pray, that no matter your loss and emotion from it, you will give thanks today and bless the God of your salvation for giving you more than enough to lead the life He’s given you. May God bless you today, dear friends. I thank God for each of you.

Rhonda