Deception Demotes

Posted on January 31, 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

Did you ever think someone should get kicked out of your church or has someone ever gotten kicked out of your church? I know some people think that everyone who wants to be at church should be allowed to stay there. They have issues, but at least they came to church to try to get rid of them. Well, some people don’t come to church to get help for their issues; they come to church to start some issues. That is their ONLY reason for being there. And because that is their only reason for being there, they are singularly focused and easily cause deception to sweep through swiftly. What should be done with these people? What if you find yourself to be one of these people?

This charge I entrust to you, Timothy, my child, in accordance with the prophecies previously made about you, that by them you may wage the good warfare, holding faith and a good conscience. By rejecting this, some have made shipwreck of their faith, among whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I have handed over to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.—1 Timothy 1:18-20

In this passage we see the Apostle Paul teaching the younger minister, Timothy, how to occupy his position in the church and giving him an example of what he did to people walking in deception. He told Timothy to “wage a good warfare,” meaning fight with all his spiritual might by holding on to his faith and following what he knows to be right. For Hymenaeus and Alexander, those who abandoned their faith and spoke bad things (probably about the Christian faith or its leaders), “Paul handed over to Satan.” We know Paul didn’t literally hand these men to the god of all evil spiritual entities, but his metaphor suggests that Paul no longer served as a spiritual guide, a protector, for these men. He cast them away from his arch of safety, allowing Satan to have free reign in their lives. Parents sometimes do this, throwing up their hands to allow wayward kids to go their way. It’s not that the parents don’t love them, but when the kids have gone too far in their deception the only thing that may bring them back where they need to be is the natural consequences of their sin. Paul realized this and simply helped to facilitate that with Hymenaeus and Alexander and so do churches that kick out troublesome members who “have made shipwreck their faith.”

With strong black women historically allowing our own strength, ethnicity and gender to dictate to us how we handle situations, it’s likely that there have been some Alexander and Hymenaeuses among us. My hope is that we put ourselves in check so we aren’t kicked out of a church, a job, a friendship or a position of confidante in a friendship. Let us leave our place of deception to come back and sin no more.

Friday Feature: Abstinence and Trust

Posted on January 28, 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

Life and death have met me a lot this week—their notions and results of those who have chosen each have caused me to think deeply, more definitively, about my own beliefs, particularly in light of the 38th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision legalizing abortion. Whenever a hot button issue surfaces, Christians should take a stand, if not publically, in their own hearts based upon the heart of God. His counsel to us—not our feelings or conscience—is what we must follow, but this is not always easy to do, especially for women like strong black women.

In keeping with natural methods of healthcare, abstinence is undoubtedly the only natural way to keep from getting pregnant. This should be the decision for Christian singles, with sex being reserved for marriage. In marriage, ideally you and your husband should agree on whether or not to have a child. If you decide not to have children, the only natural form of birth control is the rhythm method. You could abstain from sex, but you would have another set of issues besides unwanted children, and those issues you don’t want.

But what about those hard issues, like an unexpected (and unwanted) pregnancy that comes from a slip in decision on a lonely night or from a cruel man, a stranger or one in your own bedroom? Is abortion acceptable in these situations? Is abortion the “natural” response to getting rid of something you didn’t expect, want, or plan for or don’t want around to remind you of a bad decision or the violent act? If the mother of a poet I love who loves so many or an evangelist who feeds the souls and bodies of thousands each year decided abortion was natural after they were raped, I and so many others would miss the love of these soul-feeding wonders. And I wonder what soul-feeding wonders were among the more than 50 million babies aborted since the passage of Roe v. Wade in 1973. And I wonder how many mothers thought their decision was natural because they were told that what was in their womb was not yet life or that they had the power to change their destiny and they believed it, wanted and needed to believe that, because they didn’t know or hadn’t considered the counsel of God.

We have believed that we have the freedom to choose in all things. God would not have given man volition if we didn’t have the right to choose, we say. But He says, “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19). God gives us a choice but then commands us to choose life. I choose life, personally knowing the horror of rape and the turmoil of receiving something I didn’t expect from it. God’s council is true and life affirming even in the midst of personal darkness, death visited upon us. His council is the only one that we can trust and eventually rest secure in (Psalm 56:11, 2 Corinthians 1:8-10).

Don’t Believe the Lies

Posted on January 26, 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

Sometimes we, who too often believe we are self-empowered strong black women, lose belief when OUR powers wane. We may begin to think we can’t do anything spectacular, impact a soul with the power of the Holy Ghost or change our mind even though we’ve tried dozens of times. We may not have peace in the midst of a storm. Perhaps we get here because we haven’t understood or really yet believed the pure Gospel of Jesus Christ. We can change that.

Pick preachers who follow this example

1 Corinthians 2:1-5

Select scriptures that point you toward belief beyond salvation

Find friends who will stand with you like Jonathan’s armor bearer

1 Samuel 14:1-15

Meditate more on these scriptures and other things like them

Philippians 4:4-9

You can do whatever God commands and be whoever He declares you are. Yes. Now please believe that.

Friday Feature: Rest Well

Posted on January 14, 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

When I was in college I really had that strong black woman thing going on. I was an officer and in charge of several events with my sorority, was active in my church, worked a part-time job often full-time, took a full course load and made it my business to hang out just about every weekend. I thought I could handle it all until my gums told me something different.

Yes, my gums, those things that hold your teeth, had developed a number of painful lesions that my dentist told me come from stress. That was my first lesson in the impact of poor healthcare on the body. Over the years I received more lessons battling acne, costochronditis (inflammation in the rib or cartilage), Candida (too much bad yeast) and osteoarthritis (loss of cartilage between bones in the joints, often causing them to swell). Sick of just getting chemical injections and taking medications to mask the pain I began a major search for naturopathic medicines to get to the root of my issues. I discovered a whole world of natural ways that God had for me and couldn’t believe how duped I had been into believing that only synthetic medicines could cause me relief. Like me, I know there are some of you who have believed the same thing. Well, for your information and to encourage you to start your own natural health quest, I am going to share with you over the next several Fridays a natural method that I have used that has worked for me. I am also going to feature others who have used natural methods that have worked for them.

#1—Get More Rest

The first and very simple change that worked for me was more rest. I have to get between seven and eight hours of sleep each night. The first time my gum lesions appeared, my dentist gave me a prescription for penicillin and told me to take it easy. The next time my gums became sore (a sign that lesions were coming), I didn’t seek medicine but rest. I do this every time and rest works.

Rest regenerates the cells. This makes my skin clearer, relieves my pain, and prevents or eliminates my lesions. And we all know that a good night’s rest clears the mind, minimizes bags and energizes the body. There will be times when we can’t get to sleep early enough to get a full night’s rest, but we have to make these times as few as possible. We have to forfeit those regular late night phone conversations, social media interactions, volunteer overtime, and that bedtime movie. These all make me feel good when I do them, but I pay for them when I’m dragging the next day. We also have to stop staying up worrying about things that we can’t change.

It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.—Psalm 127:2

Life is demanding enough, let alone for those of us recovering from being that unrealistic strong black woman. We need to be healthy in spirit, mind and body. God wants us this way and helps provide it for us through sleep. At the beginning of the year with all our fresh goals, let’s add getting real rest so we can be refreshed, energized and healthy to do the work we are meant to do.

The Feast

Posted on December 27, 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Our Ethiopian Feast-Before

Our Ethiopian Feast-After

We came together to feast, me and a former cop and soldier now mother and multiple business owner; an office manager and former divorced mother of three big boys, now a married mom of four; a former entrepreneur turned married homeschooling mom of six; a rapper who showcased skills on 106 and Park who now sparks the spiritual into the secular; and an engineer married to an engineer and mom of a boy and girl. We came together to feast, all ministry leaders and me the top ministry leader leading them into something different, something good, and they ate it up, this, my favorite, Ethiopian food that none had tried and one didn’t like after having the same four times before.

Throwing Down

We feasted on something different, food never touching their palates, food transforming their palates into something new. We, a table of used to be’s and wanna be’s now wanting to be whatever Jesus wants us to be and we are open. We are willing to consume the feast He has for us, no matter how different or how many times we did or didn’t like it, we will try, knowing it could even be yummy like our Ethiopian meal.

Standing: Taivia; Nicole, Charyse and Chevelle; Seated: Helena & Me

Musings of a (Recovering) Strong Black Woman

Tag Archives: Strong black woman

Deception Demotes

Friday Feature: Abstinence and Trust

Don’t Believe the Lies

Friday Feature: Rest Well

The Feast