Sober Vision

Posted on July 27, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

To drink or not to drink, that is the question so many Christians have. As a recovering strong black woman who likes to make her own decisions, I wrestled with this question for awhile. People I know would invite me to mix and mingles and without exception these events would have beer, wine and alcohol. Or maybe I would attend a wedding reception, and they would have an open bar and a champagne toast. Should I participate? And if I could, what could I drink and how much could I drink? Outside of mix and mingles and wedding receptions, where should I drink, around whom could I drink, what would people think about me if I drank, and should I care what people thought about me if I drank? Maybe you, too, want to know as a Christian whether or not you should drink and what may be the stipulations of doing so. I believe after reading this series of posts on being sober, you will have an educated biblical response regarding whether or not Christians should drink beer, wine or alcohol.

Scripture gives us the positive and negative side of drinking:
Positive sense—Paul tells Timothy to use wine medicinally (1 Tim. 5:23). We also see that people drank wine at a wedding. So they drank at a time of merriment, to celebrate (John 2:1-10).
Negative sense—Wine has the power to make you talk rough and alcohol makes you walk tough, causing you to argue and fight people. They both cause you to be under their power (Proverbs 20:1). Titus 2:3 puts it this way: The biblical woman “is not given to much wine” which means that she doesn’t allow the drink to control her.

So God’s vision of a biblical woman is for fermented drinks not to control her with their intoxicating effect. Even if you don’t get sloppy drunk, where you’re stumbling and cussing out and fighting people, fermented drinks control you if 1) you have to drink to have a good time; 2) you have to have a drink to become calm; or 3) you can’t stop drinking until you get drunk. All of these instances make you a slave to the bottle, and you are out of control.

Am I saying you can’t get your drink on? Maybe. It depends on you assessing yourself according to who God wants you to be as I laid out here and as I will further do next time. Until then, I welcome your stories of struggle and success with beer, wine and alcohol.

Rid Your Slanderous Talk, Part 1

Posted on July 17, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Harsh words may have been our way, but as the previous two posts on slander have shown, this is not the way we should be. For so many of us—black women in America, fighting back and proactively countering inevitable sexist and racists attacks, slander has been a way of life. Fighting with harsh words may the American way, but as Christian women we must choose God’s way. Here’s what He says:

Recognize the difficulty in taming your tongue (James 3:7-8)—We are told, “For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” This is a fact that we must accept.

Call on God for help (Psalm 107)—Once you recognize your difficulty of taming your tongue, seek God’s help. He tells us how hard it is for us to tame our tongue, yet requires that we do so. James 3 tells us that the remedy for taming the tongue is to use “the meekness of wisdom” (v. 13), giving someone sound guidance in a gentle manner. The only way that we can do so is with God’s help because wisdom is not natural to us; it comes from God (Isaiah 11:2). Don’t quench His help (1 Thessalonians 5:19); pursue it.

Be meek (Titus 3:2)—I have friends who are astonished at how I use grace with them. One knew me as Zorro; the other has given me free reign to tell whatever I need to tell her, but God still leads me to do so gently. This is because I know if I give myself license to slander, I may help her in the short run but in the long run she may be damaged. I don’t want to leave that to chance. She has given me the power to speak however I want, but I’d rather choose meekness, having my power under control, instead of railing on her.

There is so much more to say so stay tune for Monday’s part 2 installment.

Pursuing Holiness

Posted on July 10, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

My momma used to say something like this: “Watch who you hang with, where you go and what you do. Remember your reputation. You want to be able to look at yourself in the mirror when you wake up.” My momma’s words did help me to choose my friends wisely, for the most part (’cause y’all know I got some male scallywags that I want to remain in my closet). But as a maverick, I would go just about anywhere and try just about anything because I wanted to give the testimony and not hear from any witnesses. But the scars from this type of strong black woman existence are still with me, and I made up my mind that I have enough war wounds to share the course of another’s lifetime. My mother’s advice brought me a long way, but God’s Word is what now keeps me along my way.

I told you I wasn’t going to give you a list of do’s and don’ts, but I will list areas of holiness and some criteria that you should consider when accessing your involvement in these areas:

People

Friends

Places

Facilities

Pursuits

Future

Passions

Fancies

As I searched the Scriptures (see below), what I find I could sum up as this: Because your friends have a great influence in your life, make sure you choose those who have your back, won’t gossip about you, try to influence you to do wrong, compete with you or think they are better than you, and will guide you away from places that have a reputation for being evil, help you pursue God’s will for your life and encourage you to find pleasure in God more than anything else. These are people seeking to walk in holiness and the type you should choose as friends. This is also the type of person you should seek to be as a friend. This is what I got from God’s Word. As you consider walking in holiness in relation to your friends, facilities, future and fancies, you probably won’t get anything much different than what I have summarized. But, please, let the scriptures govern your choices. Here are some to consider:

Friends: John 15:13; Proverbs 17:9; 1 Corinthians 15:33; Philippians 2:3;
2 Corinthians 6:14
Facilities: 1 Thessalonians 5:22
Future: 2 Corinthians 6:14; James 4:13-16
Fancies: 1 Timothy 6:8-10; 1 John 2:15-16

I am interested in hearing about your choice in friends, facilities, and future and fancies pursuits. Write me back so the conversation continues.

Lover of God-Hater of Men

Posted on July 3, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

He was a lover of God and a hater of men, at least he claimed one and seemed to be the other, the guy on the Christian call-in radio show about would you as a Christian accept a free Koran.
“Hi, what’s your name and city?”
“Rhonda; Detroit.”
“Do you want to be on air with Paul?”
“Sure.”
“Wasalakasumko.”
“Pardon me?”
“Wasalekeselee. Oh, whatever.”
Silence. I couldn’t believe my ears. The guy sounded like he was trying to say “Alsalaam alakum,” the Muslim greeting “Peace be upon you,” but for whatever reason I am not sure. What I do know was that I was offended. Maybe the raspyness of my ancestral blue notes or the urban bite of my saying Detroit led him to believe that I was black (right) and led him to believe that I was a black Muslim (wrong). I’m not sure what was going on in his head, but I know what went on in mine.

Here was a Christian on a Christian radio show seemingly making fun of Muslims. And the nerve of him to stereotype, then act like he was trying to relate, then get the word wrong and then be rude. His attempt at “connecting” the Christian and the Muslim was ill conceived at best and planned to offend at worst. This supposed lover of God didn’t fear God because if he had he wouldn’t have chosen to belittle another of God’s creations and even use coarse jesting to do so. His behavior led me as a Christian who is black and a woman to sum up how a God fearing strong Christian woman should be, and that’s loving to everyone, not just other Christians.

I know what I’m saying isn’t groundbreaking, but love is the key that so many have lost so doors remain not just closed but locked. Sure, I could give you a list of do’s and don’ts; if you want that check out Galatians 5:19-25 and Ephesians 4:22-32. But you won’t be able to actually fear God until you hate what God hates and love what God loves, and you can only do that with a change of heart.

So to be God fearing you must 1) want the mind of Christ (Phil 2:4-5) and 2) ask God to search your heart for what’s evil in it so your mind and heart correlate and your actions will follow (Psalm 139:23-24; Matthew 12:34). In this way you will be on your way to parlaying the hostility of man and the wrath of God.

As always, I want to know your thoughts. Would you have been offended? Just tell me what you think.

New Vision: The List

Posted on June 24, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Whatever your calling is in life, I believe God expects a Christian woman who is black to exhibit the following *characteristics:

1. God fearing
2. Holy
3. Non-slanderous
4. Sober
5. Teacher of good things
6. Pure
7. Level headed
8. Domesticated
9. Benevolent
10. Trustworthy
11. Hard worker
12. Nurturer
13. Time prudent
14. Generous
15. Resourceful
16. Helpful
17. Caring
18. Well-groomed
19. Astute with business
20. Wise
21. Kind
22. Good reputation
23. Strong
24. Disciplined
25. Unashamed of cultural heritage
26. Lover of her husband
27. Lover of her children
28. Submissive to her husband

You know I want to know what you think. Respond to this list or submit your own. There is a lot to discuss.
*Characteristics primarily based on Proverbs 31:10-31 and Titus 2:3-5

Musings of a (Recovering) Strong Black Woman

Tag Archives: Strong black woman

Sober Vision

Rid Your Slanderous Talk, Part 1

Pursuing Holiness

Lover of God-Hater of Men

New Vision: The List