Tag Archives: Strong black woman

Homeschool Attack

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What Do You Think? Wednesday



I’m 42. I’ve been saved 16 years, sold out for Jesus for 14, married for 13, and a mother for nine, and even with such experience I welcome advice, even that which is unsolicited. I know I don’t know everything and there are plenty of people older than I am who have been walking with Jesus, married and mothers longer and I know they simply know some things that perhaps I don’t. But let me tell you, I have had a hard time lately wanting to be gracious (though I have) to the people who balk at my husband’s and my decision to home educate our oldest son. These people have never home educated their children and have offered why homeschooling is bad for my child, including poor socialization, asked when I was going to put him in school and suggested I enroll him in good schools that they know of. Their unsolicited advice suggests the following that appall me:

1. World socialization is better than biblical socialization
2. My son would be happier at school than at home
3. That the ultimate goal of home education is institutional education
4. That any school outside of a home school is a better choice for my family
5. That any school outside of a home school will help my son reach his goals, no matter what they are
6. That they know my son better than my husband and I do
7. That they know what’s best for our family structure
8. That my husband and I were whimsical with our decision to home educate
9. That my husband and I didn’t hear from God
10. That, even with us not being in a crisis and them not having asked any questions for clarification, other humans know better for us than we do for ourselves; that humans know better than God

These implications, and many more, appall me because, quite frankly, I feel attacked. I recently read the tweet “There has to be a safe place for girls” in a brutal world that devalues their bodies and men do with them what they want. I say there has to be a safe place for all of us to be safe AND for those of us who are counterculture but not living in sin. There should be a safe place for us to make the Spirit-led decisions we need for the health and growth of our families. But, according to Scripture, this will not be the case. We will be persecuted for righteousness sake (Matthew 5:10; John 15:20). That’s it. I should expect nothing less. There is no ongoing Kumbaya experience for the Christian choosing to live a biblical Christian life, whether you home educate or not. You will be persecuted for whatever you do for righteousness’ sake. The question is “Are we going to reclaim our strong black woman ways to challenge those who challenge us or are we going to accept the attack and respond to educate not to annihilate?” Tell me your thoughts. What do you do when people attack you and your Spirit-led decisions?

Maximize Your Time

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When you think about the flow of time it remains steady, speeding up or slowing down for no one. This can always be our dilemma. We either want to rush to get to the next project, person or season or we want more time to complete what we are having a hard time finishing. This is the case for most I know, even strong black women recovering from being strong black women. So how can we reconcile time with our tasks? We first have to know that time doesn’t change so we must.

“See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15-16).

In essence these Scriptures tell us to be wise with our time by redeeming it, which means we must know “how to regulate (our) course in view of movements in the heavens or of God” by exchanging our time.* So we are to use time according to activities in the spiritual realm and what God tells us. In order to have enough time to fulfill our spiritual activity and direction, we must reallocate time from anything that has nothing to do with these. Cease the nonsense and put time toward what makes sense.

1) In order to know what God is doing in the spiritual realm and what He wants us to do, we have to spend time with God. Pray, fast, read the Bible, study the Bible and any other spiritual discipline that connects us to Him. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).

2) When we know what God is saying then we must ask Him how much time to spend on each task. Pray “give me this day my daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). There is only so much we can do at a time and He will tell us what that is.

3) Don’t feel guilty about the items that used to be on your To Do list. Our list is different because we are regulating our course according to activities in the spiritual realm and God. Some people may be upset and you may even be disappointed that what you used to spend your time doing and who you used to spend your time with has changed. “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant* of Christ” (Galatians 1:10). You are a servant of God. You are to please Him.

I am not advocating an ascetic life where you abandon all the activities of this world. In order to fulfill your part in what’s happening in the heavenlies you may have to have a spa day with that unsaved friend. God may have you minister to her this way to prepare her to hear from you when you are supposed to lead her to Christ. You have to build a rapport with people, not ram the Word down their throats. And you can only build a rapport with people if you are around people. God will give you the wisdom about who, what, when, where, how, and maybe even why. We are just required to obey.

God gives us enough time for what He has called us to do, so that what’s done in heaven can be done on earth (Luke 11:2). If we find we don’t have enough time, WE are either not following God’s plan or not trusting God’s plan. We may not feel like we have enough time or that there is still more to do. But if we follow what God says and how He tells us to do it—even if the task seems incomplete—He can use what we have done in whatever state our work is in.

Is your life chaotic because of mismanagement of time? What do you do to manage your time? Please, let me know what you think about my plan to help you maximize your time.

*Lexical Aids to the New Testament in Key Word Study Bible, Spiros Zodhiates, executive editor.

Handle Your Business

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I had no idea the strong black woman had crept into my prayer life. For four days I had been blocked in my spirit, not feeling a free flow of the Holy Ghost during my prayer time. I asked the Lord what it was. He was silent. I fasted to find out what it was. God was silent. Then one morning before dawn, in the quiet of morning that I love, when my family is still asleep, the birds and crickets don’t chirp and no cars even drive down the street, God wakes me, beckons me to come. I don’t know what He wants, but I, like Samuel, simply say “Speak, Lord, for your servant hears.” The house is still silent and silent is what God remains. The silence becomes loud so I start speaking, praying for whoever comes to mind, believing it’s speaking time. God says nothing. Finally I cry, “What is it Lord? What are you trying to tell me? Did I end my fast too soon? Is there some sin I have that I’m missing? What is it Lord? Help me?” God then replaces my thoughts of people with the specific promises that He has given me. I know I am supposed to pray for those promises. This is where I have been negligent, laying aside my needs and seeking to fulfill those of others, still trying to be a strong black woman.

Daily I pray for others, my behavior toward others and my calling of ministering to women, particularly through writing. I go in detail praying for others, but I only get specific about the ministry activities I’m already doing and I ask in general for those things to come to pass that I believe God would have me to do. I have failed to pray for those specific promises He has told me would come to pass in my ministry. I’m asking for more but I have not stewarded through prayer what He has already promised me. While this has been true in my prayer life, for some of us that is the case in all of life.

We want a new house when the one we have is not clean. We want well-behaved children but we aren’t diligent in training and teaching them. We want our husband to serve us but we are constantly nagging him. We want good health but we don’t exercise. We want more when we haven’t done what we need to do with what we already have.

“To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away” (Matthew 25:29—NLT). We can miss present and greater blessings when we pay attention to others’ affairs and neglect our own. We must seek to be those servants God wants to tell “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much (Matthew 25:21).” Through God’s leading, we can lay down our strong black woman tendency to focus on others and much less on ourselves, pick up our God-given talents and use them for our greater good.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#271-280
Getting a flood of book promotion ideas
The church again being such a big blessing
Being able to attend and hear bible study
Hearing Justus’ laugh
Hearing Joshua’s loud voice
Lunch with Allecia
Completing my blog post
Flynn grocery shopping
Being accepted to an affiliate program
Joshua’s maturity in telling me “that it was fair” when I couldn’t sign up for Ann Voskamp’s retreat because it was sold out: “It wasn’t white rules,” he said, his wording for racism.

Joy as a Weapon

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

Some definite things move me: the depth and beauty of God’s word, His creation, my husband’s sweet talk and words that dance off a page begging me to embrace them. Oh, how I love words so good writers presenting a good message make me sit back, curl up and smile. This is what author Patricia Raybon, a strong writer, master storyteller and, above all, a Christian unashamed of her faith, does for me.

Author Patricia Raybon

You may recall that I wrote a bit about how her memoir My First White Friend: Confessions on Race, Love, and Forgiveness prepared me to meet my first white friend, again. Today I am pleased to be a stop on Raybon’s virtual book tour for her latest book, The One Year® daily devotional God’s Great Blessings that is encouraging, yet challenging, me. I believe the following excerpt will challenge you to let go of your strong black woman persona and long for God’s strength instead. Please, tell me what you think.

Fight Back With Joy
By Patricia Raybon

She’s laughing. Even though her home is a wreck. She’s laughing. Even though her kitchen looks lousy. Paint colors all wrong. Fabric choices breaking her budget. When the wood cabinets finally arrive—several weeks late—both the size and grain completely miss the mark.

“But I’m laughing,” says the TV host of the home renovation show, giggling into the camera. “It’s how I deal with setbacks,” she explains. “I mean, you have to laugh. It gets me back on track.”

It’s a timely philosophy. Joy imparts strength. For wise Black women, however, joy in the Lord activates His strength. In our lives. In our circumstances. Even in our kitchens. Both big and small.

Speaking to His disciples, Jesus put it this way: “Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart”—be of good cheer—“because I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33) We love that promise, indeed.

But why would joy in Him—and not courage or bravery or boldness—deliver the strength of almighty God? Could it be the illogic of the principle? That the beauty of joy is so winsome and unexpected that it’s disarming?

No enemy expects a foe to fight back with joy.

Yet there’s something strangely powerful about joy. About laughing in the face of a storm. About sizing up your enemy but knowing that, compared to God, your enemy is powerless. About staring up at a mountain and accessing its peaks, crags and valleys, but knowing—as you laugh—the mountain can’t overcome God’s power. Is this rationalizing? Or denial? Or is it wisdom?

“I have told you this so you will be filled with my joy,” Jesus told His disciples in the upper room (John 15:11). “Yes, your joy will overflow!” Then as His joy flows, your enemies flee. Can you laugh at that? Try it today. Then don’t be surprised when your victory follows.

Award-winning author Patricia Raybon’s newest book is the One Year® daily devotional God’s Great Blessings, which includes this reflection on strength in joy. She is also author of two acclaimed memoirs, My First White Friend and I Told the Mountain to Move. She also collaborated with calligrapher Timothy Botts in his upcoming gift book honoring African American spirituals, Bound for Glory. Learn more at her website: PatriciaRaybon.Com.

Say Goodbye to the Strong Black Woman

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You know how passionate I am about black Christian women receiving strength through the help of the Holy Ghost. That is the main focus of this blog and I make every effort here and offline seeking to make this a reality. Tonight will be another way to do this on Your Bedtime Blessing, a Blog Talk Radio show hosted by Dr. Michelle Johnson, founder of Alabaster Woman Ministries and my writing sister at EEW Magazine. Join us tonight at 9:30 p.m. as we discuss live “She’s Dead: Saying Goodbye to the Strong Black Woman.” You can call in to make a comment or ask a question at 347-857-3974. In the meantime, check out Dr. Michelle’s blog post and comment on her blog to help make our on-air experience more interactive. We look forward to hearing from you.