On this Memorial Day, we are duly bound to remember our military, past and present, who have given their lives for our freedom. As a Christian, I am constrained to remember those whose faith fanned their fights, fueled my faith and have encouraged my righteous fights. As I continue to look at the history of the strong black woman, I dedicate the following poem to the memory of such a woman: Continue reading
I kept hearing another tune about her, one that would prompt me to compose a poem but the rhythm was stilted; it just wouldn’t come. There would be ebbs and flows and then I had to let go because the poem about the strong black woman just wouldn’t come. I was examining her history, seeing how she came to be, even be me, but the words wouldn’t come. Maybe they stayed away because they didn’t want to add to my already crowded day. As I kept inviting them in, their refusal helped me to see that my day is what I should share. Yeah, it’s been one of those days. Continue reading
She came with me
My trusted friend, guide by my side, with me ’til the end until things changed.
She wanted to be left alone to handle things on her own for me.
Didn’t want no talks or help, she could do it all by herself.
She crafted the plan
Listen to no man
And God, well, “He made me smart so I know He’ll be all right with what I start.” Continue reading
Clearly when we look at the history of our families we get an understanding of why we act the way we do. I know I have the tendency to OVER-administrate because my grandmother, mother and my aunt did this. And I know that I gravitate toward the intellectual and cultural arts because my daddy was an intellectual genius and loved the arts. Family, of course, is just one influencing factor on our thoughts and behaviors. As a (recovering) strong black woman, I realize that I exerted my own strength based on what I saw my foremothers doing, but there were other factors, too. Continue reading
In later chapters I talk about the media’s role in shaping the strong black woman. I also talk some more about my life, and streams of feminism flow through, but I suggest that you read “Feminine Mystique or Mistake” by Diane Passno for a full treatment of feminism’s detriment to the Christian woman. But now, consider this: When I began living my life as a Christian, asking questions of my faith and seeking to please Jesus, I became a thinking Christian. I tested my notions through the lens of a Christian worldview and was forced to reexamine my beliefs.
I found that 1) women and men are not created equal in all ways (Gen. 2:7, 21-22); 2) women should allow their husbands to provide for and protect them (Eph. 5:22-33); 3) because men and women are created different and have different roles, it’s impossible to split everything 50/50 in marriage (Eph. 5:22-23; Gal. 6:1-2); 4) a Christian woman’s body is not her own and she doesn’t have a right to alter its natural function by killing life (1 Cor. 6:19-20); and 5) many people may be attracted to you, including other women, but we must choose according to God’s standards (Matt. 19:4-5; 2 Cor. 6:14).
I believe there has been a perpetual, systematic presentation of the strong black woman that has been used to dupe us. The strong black woman presented over the years does not draw real strength from old wives’ tales, media images or feminism. In fact I believe these three areas, with sin at their root, are the reasons black women who consider themselves strong black women have been walking in their own strength, many times not even knowing this. The bottom line is our strength vs. God’s strength and it is up to us to choose.
Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” God does not condemn us, black Christian women, if we seek after his Spirit. We must be armed and equipped, able to critique the culture and ourselves so we can seek his Spirit and not walk after the flesh, down the road of the strong black woman.
Copyright 2006-2010 by Rhonda J. Smith