Tag Archives: Slander

Tips for Activating Good Will

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With Sisters in Christ

1. Resolve in your mind that you want God’s will above your will (Matthew 26:39).
2. Don’t vent to others unless they are wise counselors and you are seeking biblical advice. You may be unknowingly gossiping about the person.
3. Meet with the person who has offended with you. Discuss your issues with biblical reconciliation at the forefront of your mind (Matthew 18:15-16; Philippians 4:2-3; 2 Corinthians 5:18-20; Galatians 6:1; and James 5:16).
4. Meet again with a mediator if you two don’t come to a biblical resolution. Remember there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14). Make sure you both agree on who any additional people should be. These should be people who are known to strive to meet biblical standards of reconciliation.
5. Understand that reconciliation may not be immediately available, but that doesn’t mean you don’t strive for it (Matthew 18:17; Romans 12:18).
6. Continue to work to do God’s will with your sister in Christ or without her, making sure not to slander her.

In the World

7. Fulfill God’s commands to impact the world for Christ (Isaiah 61:1-2). In Christ’s stead, we must be his hands and feet on the earth to meet the needs of people.
a. Preach gospel of Christ to those in need. Do everything you can to tell people about salvation through Jesus Christ. Don’t stop there. Show people, through your actions, the power and love of Jesus by
b. feeding the hungry.
c. clothing the naked.
d. binding up (bandage or heal the wounds of) the brokenhearted.
e. comforting all that mourn.
Do all these for individuals you know, through your church, established organizations or a ministry you begin. The point is: Don’t make an excuse for not doing good: being kind to your brothers and sisters in Christ and showing benevolence to those throughout the world. This is the call for all Christians, including the strong black woman who’s trying to refocus her attitude from simply doing good to look good but doing good because goodness emanates from her changed heart that seeks to be like Christ.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Rid Your Slanderous Talk, Part 2

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Life can be quite overwhelming for all of us. Family issues, financial crises, unending wars and everyday routines can make any one of us want to give up on any given day. And don’t be a black woman. Like any other “double minority,” there is another set of complexities that comes with our lives. But whether you’re black or white, male or female, economically and socially privileged or deprived, as a Christian you are required to rid yourself of slanderous talk. This is not easy, so here are a few more tips:

Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)—We are told to tell the truth, but we must remember to be mindful of how we tell the truth. We can’t simply say that we had to tell the person the truth; we have to ask ourselves our motive behind why we are going to say what we intend to say. We not only have to make sure our motives are right, we have to check our tone of voice, the timing of what we say and the place we choose to say it. Our heart could be right, but our voice could betray us. Speaking to someone when they’ve just had a traumatic experience may not be the right time to tell someone that they’re shiftless. And doing so in front of friends may leave them embarrassed and hopeless. Speaking the truth in love is summarized with Ephesians 4:29:

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” This verse tells us to speak what is good so that we edify and minister grace to others. Good has several meanings but the one that I believe applies to this verse is “useful.” Our language should be useful so we build up (edify) others, particularly promoting “another’s growth in Christian wisdom, piety, happiness, holiness” (Blue Letter Bible Concordance). And we should deliver this useful message with grace, which is “good will, loving-kindness.” Anything short of Ephesians 4:29 is slander.

So whether we like it or not, want to use it or not, Ephesians 4:29 applies when you’re happy and when you’re sad. It holds true when you’re healthy and when you’re ill. Ephesians 4:29 must be in the forefront when you don’t like your husband and when your kids get on your last nerve. When someone is rude or mean to you, tries to discourage or hate on you, you must invoke Ephesians 4:29. If you’re angry or bitter, let Ephesians 4:29 help heal your soul and perhaps the soul of the person who has offended you. Even if the other person is not healed, know that God sees you and is pleased. Let’s strive to make pleasing God our only motivation to speak what is good.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Rid Your Slanderous Talk, Part 1

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Harsh words may have been our way, but as the previous two posts on slander have shown, this is not the way we should be. For so many of us—black women in America, fighting back and proactively countering inevitable sexist and racists attacks, slander has been a way of life. Fighting with harsh words may the American way, but as Christian women we must choose God’s way. Here’s what He says:

Recognize the difficulty in taming your tongue (James 3:7-8)—We are told, “For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” This is a fact that we must accept.

Call on God for help (Psalm 107)—Once you recognize your difficulty of taming your tongue, seek God’s help. He tells us how hard it is for us to tame our tongue, yet requires that we do so. James 3 tells us that the remedy for taming the tongue is to use “the meekness of wisdom” (v. 13), giving someone sound guidance in a gentle manner. The only way that we can do so is with God’s help because wisdom is not natural to us; it comes from God (Isaiah 11:2). Don’t quench His help (1 Thessalonians 5:19); pursue it.

Be meek (Titus 3:2)—I have friends who are astonished at how I use grace with them. One knew me as Zorro; the other has given me free reign to tell whatever I need to tell her, but God still leads me to do so gently. This is because I know if I give myself license to slander, I may help her in the short run but in the long run she may be damaged. I don’t want to leave that to chance. She has given me the power to speak however I want, but I’d rather choose meekness, having my power under control, instead of railing on her.

There is so much more to say so stay tune for Monday’s part 2 installment.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Slander Hurts

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People used to call me Zorro because I could slash you with words and leave a mark to prove that I had done it. My words caused pain in the name of the truth, setting the record straight and getting someone told. I was not God fearing or holy. I wanted others to feel my wrath, and they did. I was a good Zorro, but I had to give up playing that part. The role hurt others and marred my reputation.

Even though I spoke the truth, I was wrong because my main intent was never to help but always to hurt; I wanted to expose others’ wrongs and make them feel bad while doing so. I never considered what I did as slander, but a close look at the Scriptures lets me know that’s what I was doing. The Hebrew word (Old Testament) for slander means whispering, defamation, evil report, and unfavorable saying, and the Greek word (New Testament) means to rail at, revile, speak reproachfully and to blaspheme. The New Testament phrase is often rendered “to be evil spoken of.” So slander could be lying or telling the truth. All lying about someone is slander. Lies, even well meaning ones, destroy integrity. The truth could be considered slander when you use truth to rail at or defame someone intentionally or unintentionally. The outcome of slander—whether done through lying or truth, intentionally or unintentionally, is always corruption. This is why Scripture warns us so many times to not slander and warns of the outcome (Exodus 20:16; 1 Tim. 3:8, 11; 2 Tim. 3:3; Titus 2:3). Simply put, if you slander just know that you

1) strengthen the works of evil doers (Exodus 23:1; Ezekiel 13:22);
2) associate yourself with Satan (John 8:44; Matt. 12:33, 7:17-18);
3) may endure God’s wrath (Psalm 101:7; Proverbs 19:5, 9; Malachi 3:5); and
4) reveal that you don’t (intimately) know God (Jeremiah 9:3-6).

“There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing” (Proverbs 12:18). Will you continue to let your tongue thrust like a sword to strengthen the works of evil doers, associate yourself with Satan, endure God’s wrath and remain ignorant of God or will you choose to be wise to heal with your words? The choice is yours.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Slander Me Not

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“Be merciful to those who doubt; snatch others from the fire and save them; to others show mercy, mixed with fear-hating even the clothing stained by corrupted flesh”—Jude 22-23.
Warning: This is a fire snatching poem to save my sisters from the destruction of slander.

Slander Me Not

You like to say only sticks and stones
Hurt your bones but names do hurt you,
Pimp slap you, sucker punch you, arrest you, knock you out in disbelief, give you grief
Harsh words make you stumble
You recover, then sputter some choice words yourself
You black “B” or fat cow
You ugly “B” or dumb dog
But that’s not all in the name calling repertoire.
You can be a snotty sophisticate
Use your intellect and shift from the gutter to self-assuredly utter
“I wouldn’t have done it like that. I thought you knew better than that.”
You can move from snotty to spiritual
Take your words so that others hear it as concern:
“I called the Pauls because I think they’ve fallen out with Pastor.”
“We have to pray for Earline; she’s having marital problems.”
Or you can broaden your approach
Bring in a same breath reproach
Change from spiritual whisperer to a double dipping wordsmith
Bring gifts to a friend
Then stab her in the back with the walk away attack:
“Girl, I love that hat.” “She thinks she’s all that. I have one that’s better than that.”
You a gut-busting, sucker punching, pimp slapping, heart wrenching slanderer
Using words to make false claims, curse and bless and bringing shame upon others.
Your words cut deep
You conceive to deceive, to please your flesh instead of only bless your neighbors.
You’re a slanderer
Speaking death instead of life
Handling words to engender strife
This is the life of a Christian?
This cannot be.
This should not be.
Jesus Christ died so this would not be.
So please let it not be.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith