Tag Archives: Sexual Purity

Practice Sexual Purity

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I know being sexually pure is tough. After reading my two posts this week, many people have commented about their struggles in this area. And some people don’t think sexual purity is realistic. The argument is that God made us sexual beings, and we don’t have the capacity to abstain. Added to that, we live in a country with freedom of choice, and many of us want to exercise that choice with little or no restraint. We are even encouraged to do so. But even though sexual purity may be a struggle and we are sexual beings who have the freedom to choose, God wants us to choose to follow is will: to only have sex within the bounds of marriage between a man and a woman (Matthew 19:4-6). But how can this be done with seemingly so much against us?

Following are four do’s and don’ts to help you walk in sexual purity:

  • Do keep your mind on God’s Word (Psalm 119:11).

    • 1) Listen to it (Sermons, music, read it aloud).
    2) Study it.
    3) Post it.
    4) Meditate on it.
    5) Memorize it.

  • Don’t expose yourself to sensual materials (Books, television shows, advertisements, music, magazines, websites, conversations or movies). None of these has to be labeled pornography. If they have sexual triggers for you, don’t consume them (2 Timothy 2:16).
  • Do hang with spiritually-minded Christian people. This is not to say that you shouldn’t be around people with other values. The Apostle Paul says you would have to leave this world to do that (1 Corinthians 5:10). Just make sure your closest friends—those who you seek counsel from—are capable of giving you Godly wisdom, not just good old “common sense” (Psalm 1:1; Proverbs 19:21).
  • Don’t hang with unscrupulous people. You will eventually do what they do (1 Corinthians 15:33).
  • Do go to inspirational places like church and houses of accountable friends. Even at church and other places you go, like a concert, you have to make sure that the people or activities aren’t ones that will draw you in sexually. Church? I’m just sayin’ (Psalm 73:14-17).
  • Don’t go to shady places. If it’s underground, back alley or afterhours, chances are you might get into some trouble (Genesis 34).
  • Do keep busy. When you fill your life up with productive activities, you won’t have time to plan or commit sin.
  • Don’t have idle time. If you do, you will have plenty of time to plan and commit sin (1 Timothy 5:13).

    • Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Reasons for Sexual Purity

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    Through the lips of a nervous smile, she could barely speak: “Would you pray for me about something I did that I regret. I had an abortion a few years ago and I regret it.” Her emotions gripped her now because of what she didn’t know then: Doing what you want with your body may make you feel in control, but because of sexual impurity there are so many consequences that may haunt you for years to come. To wear the badge of strong black woman, so many of us have believed the lie that we are in control of our own bodies, but those bodies then begin to betray that notion in several ways:

    ? Death may come.

      1) This could be a physical death—for you by way of a disease like AIDS, or your baby by way of an abortion for not wanting a child with someone you just slept with (1 Corinthians 10:8);
      2) an emotional death—by way of feeling unfulfilled after the sexual act and shame because your sexual partner now disrespects you or you disrespect yourself (2 Samuel 13:1-20); or
      3) a spiritual death—by way of a disconnection from God and other believers because of your disobedience (Romans 1:24-32, 1 Corinthians 5).

    ? You will have an unnatural attachment. Because sex is God’s way of connecting you spiritually to your spouse, having sex outside of marriage still connects you with the person you sleep with (1 Corinthians 6:15-20). You, therefore, may long to be with or even have stalker-like tendencies toward your “unlawful husband.”

    ? You may damage your reputation. Some of you may be discreet with your stuff, but it will catch up with you eventually (1 Corinthians 4:5). As a woman, you may not be deemed marriage material (“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”); as a Christian, you lose your testimony as a credible witness for God’s kingdom because you act like everybody else; and as a mother, “Do as I say and not as I do” doesn’t work. Your children are likely to mimic your illicit behavior (John 4:16-18, 1 Corinthians 9:27).

    ? You will likely have “baby mama drama.” This may be because you’re trying to get him to take responsibility of the kids you two had or his new girlfriend despises you or you despise her (Genesis 16:1-5).

    I’m not insensitive to believe that these results only come to those who initiate sexual impurity. Like me, some of you may have been raped and had to deal with these deaths because of someone else’s impurity. Hear what I’m saying though: whether likely participant or victim, God has given us a choice: “I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Therefore choose life, that you and your offspring may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19). If you can participate in illicit sex, don’t. Save yourself from unnecessary death and drama. Choose life. If you are a victim, choose life through Jesus and the resources that he provides for healing.

    Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith