Every day without fail when he can’t see me Nathaniel is going to ask “Mama, where are you?” Though our house isn’t that big and he may have seen me five minutes ago, he makes it his business to keep constant tabs on me. I just couldn’t wrap my mind on how this three year old could think that I could just disappear. Once, I didn’t answer Nate when I was trying to put one-year-old Justus to sleep. After calling for me throughout the house, Nate finally asked Joshua where I was. “She’s in Justus’ room.” “No she isn’t. I looked,” said Nate, who didn’t come all the way in the room to see me holding Justus in the corner chair. Joshua, my oldest, then told Nate something that we all need to know about those we should be able to count on: “Mama is here. She wouldn’t leave us.”
This is what children everywhere should know about fathers and mothers, what spouses should know about the other, and what true friends should count on in each other. But parents, spouses and friends leave—they walk away; they die—and leave us wondering who we can count on. I don’t know if I had separation anxiety like Nathaniel has, but after a big fight between my parents and my daddy leaving for the night I knew parent separation could be my reality. So what do we do, tell our children too, that will give us the everlasting security we need?
You know the answer is Jesus who will never leave or forget about us (Hebrews 13:5). This I tell my children while I am sane, so they don’t look to me to be their everything when I can give them nothing. I want them to know that Jesus’ words are true, that He heals, protects, guides, comforts, and provides for me too. Jesus uses me to give to them my time, talent, treasure—my full soul, my full self. No matter how many times I try to carry my strong black woman mantle, I know I can do nothing without Jesus. I can do anything with Him. I am secure and need no one else to make me sure about anything. Stability with Jesus is what I am thankful for. Even though I can’t see Him, I know He is here because He would never leave me.
Listen to how singer-songwriter Aaron Shust puts it:
I have assurance of salvation (1 John 2:21-25). I know Jesus saves me from hell on earth and saves me from hell after I leave this earth (John 3:16-21). I will spend an eternity with Him. This He promises. He is not a man that He would lie (Numbers 23:19). What He says will come to pass, whether I have seen it or not. Whether you believe it or not, it’s true. Seek Him for salvation all who have not put their trust in Him (Romans 10:9-10). Now is the appointed hour. Tomorrow may be too late. Don’t wait. Seek him now.
My One Thousand Gifts List
#311-320
Justus sleeping through the night, giving me two full nights of sleep in a row
Quiet time with God
A decent outfit for Joshua to wear to church
Joshua getting up in time to go to Sunday school and his doing so for the last month
A husband who prioritizes family above all else (except God)
Justus’ gurgling milk giggle
Joshua and Nathaniel having a conversation after Nate asked “What is it?” when he saw Joshua expressing surprise about something
Nathaniel rallying Joshua and me to dance with him
Being able to cook dinner after a busy Sunday
Being able to help Flynn edit a eulogy
