Last week author Marilynn Griffith visited my blog and talked about motherhood pride. If we’ve ever had those moments when we thought our children were simply stellar, there may have been a time when you couldn’t always say that or there may come a time when you simply breakdown because it seems all your efforts are futile. Marilynn reminded us that even when you train your child “right,” you may be in for a few surprises from them. I wrote the following poem this week for my church’s women’s month to help us remember our God-given role as mothers. The night’s focus was “I Am a Mother,” and as mothers we should always keep in mind what Marilynn said: “(Children) are a gift from God given for your care (and feeding!) until God releases them into their destiny, which is the same as ours–to change the world for Christ.”
Carrier of Life
Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith
Tag Archives: Motherhood
Mom's The Word on Motherhood Pride
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.–Proverbs 16:18
At one point in my life, I think I took pride in my children. They knew their verses at church, treated people nice enough and were homeschooled and kept away from all the “bad” influences.
How naive I was. I forgot that they were spending most of their time with…ME! Now that I’ve had enough children to accept that their job is to make a fool out me in any way possible and lived long enough to
know that God’s grace is sufficient and much better than anything my weary flesh can muster, I am thankful that my kids aren’t scarred for life.
You see, the enemy is often inna-me as I once heard a preacher say. It’s my habits and attitudes (not my prayers and platitudes) that I’m now most concerned about. That and the fact that my youngest son is
intent on making everyone think I’m insane. This weekend, while at a relative’s house out of town, he picked up a six-pack of beer (which he’s only seen on TV, by the way). What do you think he fixed his mouth to say?
“I love beer. Can I have some?”
A few kids ago, I would have been a shrieking mess, swooping down on him like a hawk, shaking his shoulders for him to confess to everyone that he’d never had a beer or seen one in our home. These days, I just don’t have that kind of energy (and besides my mom was there to do it for me). What did I do? I laughed. The boy is an actor in his own movie.
My mother, however, was not amused.
“Have you ever had any beer?” she said, eyes narrowed.
“No, but I still love it. Want some?”
About then, I knew that we all needed a nap. I was reminded that whenever I put my faith in something or someone other than God, in the end, I will be disappointed. While there’s nothing wrong with desiring excellence in your family, remember that your children are not extensions of you, to be graded and paraded. They are a gift from God given for your care (and feeding!) until God releases them into their destiny, which is the same as ours–to change the world for Christ. Sometimes that means accepting that while life can be good, it’s rarely perfect.
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ABOUT THE BOOK
When her tall, dark, delicious husband joins their three kids in calling her “Mom,” Karol Simons has an identity crisis. Sure she loves the pint-size trio, but what’s happened to her dreams of writing a novel? Determined to have it all, she turns to her neighbor for help.
Dyanne Thornton is thrilled to stand in as Mom for three weeks so Karol can write. Bursting with baby fever, the career-woman trades her glamorous clothes and four-inch heels for the playground and potty training. She hopes to convince her reluctant husband they should start a family of their own, right away.
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Inconvenient Children
Some months ago my friend Renee was telling me that I must watch “La Vie en Rose,” the tragic biopic of French chanteuse Edith Piaf. She went on describe that this heartwrenching tale would grip my soul and make me want to pity and rescue Edith from the brothel, street and circus (literally and figuratively) life she lived throughout her life. I watched the movie this morning. Shuffled from parent to parent and place to place for convenience sake, I found myself crying for Edith, for the millions of abandoned and unwanted children worldwide and even for my own. I say my own because in my own way of not wanting to be inconvenienced (I planned to do this, but the baby demands my attention, and I resent him this moment), I communicate I don’t want him. I don’t want him to bother me right now; I don’t want him to change my plans; I don’t want him to mess up my day; I don’t want him to keep me from my goals; I don’t like that he changed my life.
My sister told me that there were some mothers on Oprah last week who felt a similar way. She said some of them ignored the cries, drank themselves numb and coped in some other ways. I didn’t see it or hear how the show ended, but I know how it ends for me. As a recovering strong black woman, God quickly showed me what my “small” thoughts of my children being an inconvenience can lead to; in my quiet time He led me to watch “La Vie en Rose,” and I know what He wanted me to see: the negative effect of neglect on a child’s life, no matter how small or lengthy, how quiet or loud. He wanted me to understand that the impact could be tragic, and I don’t want to be blamed for that.
Of course I have long understood the negative impact of neglect, but I’m not always aware of how my passing thoughts of discontent land, connect, and create a massive rumbling in my mind that occasionally displays as a cold stare, harsh words or huge huffs and sighs. I cannot love my children and care for them myself; I need the Lord. I have to remember that children are a heritage from the Lord and a reward from Him (Psalm 127:3). Through Him I can love and care for them selflessly and not tragically. I must remember His sacrifice of Jesus Christ and make that sacrifice my own. Lay down my life to perfect the lives of others, my children. God has given me the power through His Holy Spirit. I will tap into that power be the armor bearer God has called me to be. Listen to exactly what I mean.
Copyright by Rhonda J. Smith 2009