Tag Archives: Motherhood

Mothering Mess?: Octomom and Other Thoughts

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

Motherhood is definitely an evolutionary process. I wrote about an aspect of my own journey on Monday (). Whether we give physical birth or nurture others’ children, all Christian women are called to motherhood (Titus 2:3-5), and it is no joke. My own experience helps me keep my stones for myself. Even with that in mind, I’m curious about what you think about Friday’s Today Show appearance of the Octomom, Nadya Suleman, the single mother of 14 children, including octuplets. One of my Facebook friends said as she was watching the show she thought about “taking an ax to my uterus.” If you missed the show, you can see some footage below. After you watch, what’s your reaction? What do you believe your response, as a Christian called to motherhood, should be about Suleman’s mothering and even your own? Please, let me know what YOU think.

Maturing into Motherhood

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“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

— 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

I have gotten older. “Duh,” you might say. “Aging happens to everyone from the moment we’re born.” But I really didn’t begin to feel older until a few weeks ago. Of course I realized my transition some years ago when I didn’t know names of popular artists or their songs AND I didn’t care. I had joined my parents’ generation and gotten amply disengaged from the current cool. This didn’t bother me since I had always flown in my own musical realm. But a few weeks ago was different. This was when it seems overnight a nest of grays had sprouted along my front hairline; an 18 year old couldn’t say why she thought I looked so much different than the woman in my 13-year-old wedding photo; and it had been months since anyone mistook me for being at least 10 years younger than I am. I settled into my eventual, always knowing that aging is inevitable. I must admit that accepting and liking my physical changes are not the same for me. But the time that changed my physical appearance is the same time that changed my spiritual position and that pleases (and, in some ways, has shocked) me.

“You’re such a mother,” said Tabitha, one of the seven women with whom I have a formal Christian discipleship relationship. She was watching me interact with my children and remarked on my mother nurturing. She said the same thing last week, this time commenting on how I mother her and her discipleship sisters. “You really want us to be okay and reconciled,” she said about the way I had mediated a small conflict that she and another of my daughter’s in Christ had. “You didn’t take sides; you just wanted both of us to be okay.” I do, and I want the same for my boys but my desire has not always been evident.

For years I struggled with strife, having to leave ‘up and out’ words with folks who needed to know the extent of their foolishness or density. I had little mercy for the weak in mind and made it my business to tell them so. Somebody had to tell them, I reasoned, so I assigned myself that job. I resigned years ago, when the magnification of God’s mercy overshadowed my sins. His great covering was big enough that I couldn’t just keep His warmth for myself; I wanted others to feel God’s comfort and how I could nestle in His care. That was my great desire and for years only remained in my thoughts. Though I had gotten glimpses of folks under God’s cover with me, Tabitha’s encouraging word let me know that I had made room for more than I thought. And even with a new girlfriend’s recent surprise that I used to be Zorro because “you’re so kind and thoughtful” let me know that I have been more consistent in my new way than I imagined. Time may have aged my body, but I praise God that time also has matured me in the spirit. Even though I am older I am brand new.

In what ways have you become new in Christ?

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

My One Thousand Gifts List

#131-140
Joshua shoveling Nana’s snow
Joshua spending time with two generations
Flynn being able to attend evangelism training
Renee loving One Thousand Gifts
Renee wanting me to go to Paris with her
A smooth Sunday morning
Going to church and on time
Being able to sit in the sanctuary
A quiet child during church
Being able to serve at the altar

Summer Reading & T-Shirt Giveaway

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

Summer is officially here. With summer comes more leisure time and that means more time to read. Next week I’m going to review a book I know you’ll love, but I first had to give you a taste of my own book, Daily Guideposts: Your First Year of Motherhood, with a sample devotional below.

If you’ve been following the blog you’ve heard me promote the book, which debuted in April. Yes, the intended audience is new moms, but don’t let that keep you from reading or supporting me. Reviewer Mahogany Jones, a woman without children, said “This devotional is awesome. It’s interesting because I thought that since I am not a mother, I wouldn’t be able to relate, but it touched me because I was so able to relate to the messages and themes that covered all spectrums of life. I think if you are a mother, that there will not only be practical words of wisdom to apply to your parenting, but I believe that God will meet you where you are, and as a parent you will get to take delight in sharing His attributes, considering He’s the ultimate parent. I definitely recommend this book.” And reviewer Mary Ryan-Maher said Your First Year of Motherhood is “(a)n absolutely beautifully crafted book that while targeted to new mothers also appealed to me – mother of a ten- and seven-year-old. The raw, sometime conflicted and overwhelming emotions of new motherhood are movingly related. I can’t imagine reading only one a day! . . .What a great book – even for those of us who are starting into middle-motherhood!”

Read the excerpt below, pick up a copy for you or a new mom at Family Christian Stores or Amazon, and let me know what you think. Also, don’t forget to enter to win the t-shirt giveaway here on the blog. Check out last week’s Friday Feature for details on how to win. Winners will be announced Friday.

“The LORD [is] gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy” (Psalm 145:8 KJV).

My first impression of Flynn was in ninth-grade government class, where he and his buddy Vojo couldn’t shake the sillies. If the wind blew they laughed, and the only thing I thought was funny was that they thought they were cool. My second impression was at a high school class reunion committee meeting. Flynn’s jokes were jovial, his smile was smooth, and he handled all his reunion business well. That take-charge man became my husband.

Flynn initiated our meals. He planned our dates. He bought me flowers and jewelry I didn’t know I wanted. He washed the dishes and the clothes. He took responsibility and took care of me.
After four years of marital bliss we had Joshua. Flynn-the-dad helped whenever I asked him. But surprisingly, I had to ask. It began to annoy me. Then came a day I was busy with laundry and Flynn commented, “I think I smell the baby’s diaper.” I paused to process the comment. What needed to be done was obvious, but Flynn didn’t get up to do it.

“Well, aren’t you going to change it?” I snapped. He complied; I worried. Where was my take-charge man? Was I becoming a married single mom?

Later that day we talked my fear of Flynn’s in-home abandonment. It turned out he thought I’d adjusted well to having Joshua and that I knew when to ask him for help. What he hadn’t figured out yet was where his fatherhood fit. I looked at my husband, usually so confident, and decided it was okay to claim the role of married single mother for a time so that Flynn could navigate his way into fatherhood.

Remind me, Father, to ask for Your guidance when my husband and I disagree.

Devotional by Rhonda J. Smith originally appeared in Daily Guideposts: Your First Year of Motherhood and is reprinted with permission from Guideposts Books and Inspirational Media, Guideposts.org. Copyright © 2011 by Guideposts. All rights reserved.

Gain Perspective

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Today I anxiously went to get the mail. I was looking for my author copies of Daily Guideposts Your First Year of Motherhood and they were there! As I’ve told you I’m excited about this project. Though I’ve written for years and have been featured in a number of publications, this is the first time my work has appeared in a mainstream book. And the book’s arrival today was perfect, after dealing with loss all around me. This morning I attended my second funeral in a week; I ministered to a woman yesterday who’s still broken after her mother abandoned her 18 years ago; and for the last few days I have been having a major discussion on Facebook about mothers who abandon their children, sparked by an article of a woman who did so to pursue her own dreams. This book, which speaks about pressing forward in the challenging face of new motherhood, reminded me that we can do anything God has commissioned us to do with some help and a Godly perspective.

In addition to the devotionals, Motherhood, has a subject index, to help you easily find topics you’re looking for, and a special concerns section, which includes hard stuff like post-partum depression, dealing with loneliness and keeping your marriage healthy. My own devotionals center on a change in my outlook. I tell you why a crying baby is a good thing; how to get a vacation while in the midst of mothering; how two women criticizing my mothering helped me; and why I had to fire a good babysitter. Remembering the stories I wrote and anticipating reading those of my colleagues helped me focus on what I have: a great opportunity to grow and nurture even with loss, that around me and even personally; not being able to go when I want, where I want and doing all I want are temporary, losses so worthwhile because of what I gain from pouring into my boys.

So join the discussion on Facebook and make sure you buy Motherhood. Just click the link here on the site. You don’t have to be in your first year of motherhood to get it. Buy it for a new mom you know; buy it to revisit how you may want to mother your other children; buy it to give some fresh perspective to a young mom you know. I believe you will be pleased.

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

Daily Guideposts: Your First Year of Motherhood

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The book, the devotional I told you about last year that I wrote 14 pieces for, is available April 1, but you can click the link and pre-order it now through Amazon. I think the book is great not just because I’m one of the writers but because mothers need mothers, especially the new ones do to help them calm crying babies, soothe gassy stomachs, develop routines, maintain relationships, learn to breathe, and a ton of other stuff that only another mother could help with. This 365 day devotional with scriptures and prayers helps new moms negotiate a variety of issues they deal with as they adjust to life with a baby. Friends and family are irreplaceable, but Motherhood is like having 20 mothers serving new moms the real deal right in their own home. This is an invaluable tool that I think new moms would love to have.

The pieces are never preachy but point out how we learned and grew spiritually in our first year of motherhood. If you’re a new mom, get this book. If you know new moms, recommend or buy this book for them. I’m confident that you will be pleased.

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith