Amelia’s Love

What Do You Think? Wednesday

In sixth grade Amelia sat, mostly alone, mostly sad-eyed, until I said something to her. She perked up a bit and must have liked what I said, being the next one the next day to seek to foster our friendship.

“I got this joint that we could smoke together and I can bring us one every day.”

“Amelia, you don’t have to do that. I want to be your friend and you don’t have to give me anything.”

She insisted a bit. I insisted a bit more. And this girl—with the wavy hair, light chocolate skin and brick house body who was trying to be a strong black woman, put the joint her mama’s boyfriend gave her back in her pocket, sat back and smiled. And I could hear her smile when we talked on the phone every night and see her eyes dance in the classroom and the lunchroom the weeks she was at my school. She didn’t stay until the end of the school year, but our time together has stayed with me and I hope with Amelia.

I want to be like my 12-year-old self, providing comfort, not condemnation, to those seeking acceptance and esteem and not knowing where and how to get it. But I have them both to give, through the person of Jesus Christ. You got Jesus? Are you sharing Him? How are you going to show your Amelias comfort so they connect with the love of Jesus? Watch below to help you decide how you will show someone some comfort:

The Valentine’s Day Gift

Each time I was pregnant, I craved burgers. I devoured patty melts my first go around, Wendy’s double cheese burgers my second go around and White Castle burgers with my third pregnancy. While I had a great love affair with burgers, I declare I wouldn’t want my husband to try to woo me with a burger, even though this is what White Castle is encouraging.

Did you see this ad? While I commend the fast food chain for capitalizing on broke people who like sliders and people who just want to show their loved ones some love, I just don’t think White Castle is special enough to give as a Valentine’s Day gift. White Castle is something you crave in the moment, get in the drive through when you’re in a hurry, buy when you can’t afford something else or grab when you don’t feel like cooking. White Castle just doesn’t seem special enough for the special person in your life.

The more I thought about how I would feel if my husband took me to White Castle for a Valentine’s dinner, I thought about how God, our first love, feels when we give Him the spiritual equivalent of a White Castle dinner: When we only read our bible when the moment hits us, only say a couple of words to Him as we rush out the door, or go to Him when nothing else has worked or when there’s nothing else to do. While these are probably not the pattern for most of us, I’m sure we have been guilty of at least one of these at some point in our Christian walk. I know that I, trying to balance all that strong black women are expected to balance, have given God some White Castle love. Yes, we all have extenuating circumstances, like perhaps sickness and caring for a new baby, but when we constantly let life get in the way of our fellowship with the person who gave us life, we have to make some adjustments, including planning better so God gets our very best.

This Valentine’s Day I want you think about how you plan to upgrade your gifts to God. I’m not necessarily talking about giving more money to Kingdom work, though some of you may need to do that. If you’ve been giving Jesus White Castle burgers with your time and talent, I want you to figure out how to give Him filet mignon. I want you to give Him whatever your best is. And as you know, He is worth every ounce and then some.

Read what an exSuperwoman is doing with her gifts this Valentine’s Day at Confessions of an ExSuperwoman.

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

My Beloved-The 18th Day of Christmas

On the 18th day of Christmas my true love gave to me a love that would ever be true (Song of Solomon 7:10).

God loves us deeply. In the Old Testament the children of Israel were called His bride and so is the body of Christ in the New Testament. Song of Solomon illustrates this deep love, sometimes only fathomable between two lovers. In it we see God’s love for the Israelites and His love to come for the church. This just made me think of how Jesus loves me, personally, and I wanted to share with you a glimpse of our love affair:

My Beloved
You came to me in my whirlwind
Life messed up, thinking I had my stuff together.
But my stuff was spinning, flying high, making me sick when it hit
Chaos taking me in its mix
Tossing me, turning me, preventing me from sitting still to just hear.
You came to me in the whirlwind
Changed it in an instant with your call
Told me I didn’t need to know all about you
That you would show me more about you
If I just trusted you.
And I did
In my bedroom on the side of the bed on the pink bedspread and room with the grey wallpaper.
You heard my doubt but took me out and took me in knowing that you would show me where to begin and YOU.
You, the one who made me and gave me purpose before time began.
The one who commanded light to shine to distinguish day from day’s end
My friend, my beloved, who can melt the earth He made and bring it back together again
YOU
Know
See
Hear
Feel
Carry
Sustain
Love
ME, messy ME
fiercely
deeply
tenderly (and toughly sometimes)
always beckoning me
Come.
I did.
And when I do
I feel beautiful
Wooly locked hair
Light brassy bronze skin
Dark almond-shaped eyes
Within a head you made to house eclectic thoughts
And a boxy frame short and not big enough to contain all your love loving on your lovely me.
There’s a glory in your love that shines in and through my heart.
I can never part from that love, my love, from you, my Jesus, my beloved, my Savior, my Lord, my lover, my friend.

By Rhonda J. Smith
Copyright November 12, 2010

Supernatural Sister

Me & my best friend Nichole wearing t-shirts she designed: Walk by Faith and Fear Less, Hope More

I wasn’t looking for any more friends, was satisfied with the ones I had—old and true not giving me the blues like some relationships I knew about. But I found her, Nichole M. Christian, at a college journalism program meeting in Detroit, and I loved her right away. Continue reading

Lover of God-Hater of Men

He was a lover of God and a hater of men, at least he claimed one and seemed to be the other, the guy on the Christian call-in radio show about would you as a Christian accept a free Koran.
“Hi, what’s your name and city?”
“Rhonda; Detroit.”
“Do you want to be on air with Paul?”
“Sure.”
“Wasalakasumko.”
“Pardon me?”
“Wasalekeselee. Oh, whatever.”
Silence. I couldn’t believe my ears. The guy sounded like he was trying to say “Alsalaam alakum,” the Muslim greeting “Peace be upon you,” but for whatever reason I am not sure. What I do know was that I was offended. Maybe the raspyness of my ancestral blue notes or the urban bite of my saying Detroit led him to believe that I was black (right) and led him to believe that I was a black Muslim (wrong). I’m not sure what was going on in his head, but I know what went on in mine.

Here was a Christian on a Christian radio show seemingly making fun of Muslims. And the nerve of him to stereotype, then act like he was trying to relate, then get the word wrong and then be rude. His attempt at “connecting” the Christian and the Muslim was ill conceived at best and planned to offend at worst. This supposed lover of God didn’t fear God because if he had he wouldn’t have chosen to belittle another of God’s creations and even use coarse jesting to do so. His behavior led me as a Christian who is black and a woman to sum up how a God fearing strong Christian woman should be, and that’s loving to everyone, not just other Christians.

I know what I’m saying isn’t groundbreaking, but love is the key that so many have lost so doors remain not just closed but locked. Sure, I could give you a list of do’s and don’ts; if you want that check out Galatians 5:19-25 and Ephesians 4:22-32. But you won’t be able to actually fear God until you hate what God hates and love what God loves, and you can only do that with a change of heart.

So to be God fearing you must 1) want the mind of Christ (Phil 2:4-5) and 2) ask God to search your heart for what’s evil in it so your mind and heart correlate and your actions will follow (Psalm 139:23-24; Matthew 12:34). In this way you will be on your way to parlaying the hostility of man and the wrath of God.

As always, I want to know your thoughts. Would you have been offended? Just tell me what you think.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith