Tag Archives: Jezebel

Leaving a Legacy

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My father was a quiet man of action. I never heard him say that he wanted to be an example of a man with a strong work ethic who provided for his family and comforted his children, but that’s what I saw, and that’s the type of man I wanted. Though my father had strong character that I sought in men I dated, I wished my father had given me clear dos and don’ts when deciding who’s company I would keep. He didn’t get involved because he said he didn’t want to be judgmental. I embraced a legacy that he, intentionally or unintentionally, left me that was good and challenging for me. I have a husband with a strong work ethic who is a provider and comforter, but trying to recognize someone like him without major character flaws took me on a journey due, in part, to my father’s hands-off, “non-judgmental” approach with my dating.

As I thought about my dad’s legacy, my strong black woman one, especially in light of trying to impart a non-Jezebel-like response to my sons, and how I have been challenging my discipleship group to meet their goals, I began to ask “What type of legacy do you want to leave?” For me this question caused me to think beyond the “I want to be a good wife and a mother” response that we typically say. This question forced me to delve into what attitudes and actions I have and if they lead to my being presently known as a supportive and submissive wife, a selfless and sacrificing mother, a wise spiritual leader and a penetrating writer. For the most part, according to others, I have a solid reputation in these areas. But without planning, not purposing to engage in certain behaviors and attitudes, I could easily leave a legacy I don’t intend. I don’t want to teach my sons to court a woman whose mantra seems to be “accept what I say and not what I do.” She says she is a Christian and goes to church, but she is the aggressor and constantly asserts her way. I don’t want them to see Jezebel in me and think she belongs in women so they pick a Jezebel. As I seek to leave a legacy, I am loosing and losing Jezebel so she has no intentional or unintentional part of me.

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Mean Mama

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Sunday mornings have always been a test of patience for me, from when I was a little girl and my mama was satisfied to get to church in time to “hear one song and the sermon,” to me agonizing over what to wear to match my required head covering at my previous church to now having the bulk of the job of getting my three sons and me ready for church. With my mama, I wanted to rebel but couldn’t because I couldn’t make her get up on time nor could I drive. At my previous church, I wanted to rebel but I knew the spiritual cost would be too high. Now that I have autonomy over the children and me these Sunday mornings, I have been determined to get us to church on time. In doing so, I see myself as a drill sergeant. Joshua sees me as mean. Continue reading →

Boys Rule 2

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I don’t know about you, but I get thrown off when people show up to my home unexpected. I may not be dressed right or have other plans and may say something I wouldn’t ordinarily say because these guests showed up and changed the course of my day. This happened Saturday morning. Joshua came into our bedroom and attacked his dad as he lay on the bed. After they tussled a bit, we had a little impromptu family time, an intimate party of sorts. We were feeling good. We were feeling free. And in these moments is when Joshua usually asks some deep question, but this day I asked a question. I wanted to know what Joshua liked about himself. He was struggling to give a list so to help him I asked what he liked about his dad, who he always calls his hero. The list was going good. Then Jezebel crashed our party. Continue reading →

Day 17: Married Jezebels

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When people see you do they get the impression that you aren’t married? When people see you, is your husband never around? If he is around, how do you sound when speaking to him? How do you sound when speaking about him? What are your actions in reference to him? These questions are for married AND single women because we are both wed to someone.

And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34).

Aside from pleasing God, a married woman’s major goal is to please her husband. For single women, the primary goal is to please the Lord. In order to do this we have to make sure that we aren’t acting unmarried and overconfident—being Jezebel—in relation to our husbands and God.

The name Jezebel means unmarried and she was Zidonian, a people group known to be over-confident and who showed no caution at all (Judges 18:7). And when you read about Jezebel, she epitomized her name. She took charge over her husband and his affairs as if she were his mother and talked to him without regard to his feelings. Does this sound like you? Do you take charge over your husband and his affairs? How about God? Do you take charge of the business God has given you without regard to HOW he would have you to do it? Do you say things like, “You know my heart God” after doing or saying what you want? You may be a Jezebel and didn’t even know it, but you can always change.

Acting unmarried while you’re married and being overconfident are unlawful acts, going against the very standard of God and God himself. When God created the provisions for marriage, Jezebel was the antithetical model. If we’re out of order we can get in order by examining ourselves for Jezebel and declaring war on this lawless part of our souls.

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Day 16: You as Jezebel

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She’s haunting me and I know it. I feel her breath on my neck, hear her words in my ears and see her face in my mind. Jezebel visits me time after time, trying to scare me to bring her to existence. She’s on my heels, whispering what woes will be mine if I don’t act in time. “I know you’re tired of them calling. Just call to work out an arrangement so your lights don’t get shut off,” she says. “He said he didn’t have time for devotions with the children. You better work it out so your kids won’t be spiritually weak,” she warns. And she sounds good and I picture how she looks, a trusted girlfriend, shaking her dome like a Bobble head, eyes piercing and wide and saying, “You know!” I do know because Bruhman just ain’t understanding what needs to be done, and I DO want to show him, like, uh, yesterday. Sometimes I slip and do my own thing and am quickly convicted that I just listened to Jezebel, let her in and allowed her to work in my life.

Unmasking the Jezebel Spirit by John Paul Jackson


While Jezebel has come to be a name to demean sexually manipulative women, her origin is one who manipulates circumstances that ultimately manipulate the spirit world. In history she was queen of Israel and wife of King Ahab, a weak man that allowed his wife to rule him and the kingdom. Read 1 Kings 18-19 & 21 to see how she managed her husband and their subjects by herself without his consultation or direction. Her name appears again in Revelation 2, when Jesus challenges the church for tolerating “Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols.” Some scholars believe Jesus was speaking of the period to come before the Reformation when the church incorporated indulgences and the high regard of saints into its worship practices. Whatever the historical event, the spiritual implication is this: when you allow a spirit of lawlessness to rule, whether it be in your church or in your personal life, you are tolerating Jezebel.

When you allow Jezebel to reign, God promises to deal with that power and you by allowing you to go through suffering and your children to die. Is this death literal? It could be, but surely there will be spiritual degeneration for your children; having you as such a close spiritual model will inevitably cause corruption in their spiritual lives. Be it literal or figurative, why take the chance? Why allow Jezebel that type of entrance into your home and into your life? I always believe that when we know better we can do better. If you didn’t know about Jezebel, now you do and I have some more for you, too, next time. But for now, examine yourself to see if you have allowed Jezebel to exist in your life. If so, it’s time to let her go. If you keep her around, suffering is sure to come (or is in) your way.

Check out “Unmasking the Jezebel Spirit” by John Paul Jackson for a total treatment on the spirit of Jezebel.

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith