Tag Archives: Feminism

Day 8: Losing It, Part 6

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In later chapters I talk about the media’s role in shaping the strong black woman. I also talk some more about my life, and streams of feminism flow through, but I suggest that you read “Feminine Mystique or Mistake” by Diane Passno for a full treatment of feminism’s detriment to the Christian woman. But now, consider this: When I began living my life as a Christian, asking questions of my faith and seeking to please Jesus, I became a thinking Christian. I tested my notions through the lens of a Christian worldview and was forced to reexamine my beliefs.

I found that 1) women and men are not created equal in all ways (Gen. 2:7, 21-22); 2) women should allow their husbands to provide for and protect them (Eph. 5:22-33); 3) because men and women are created different and have different roles, it’s impossible to split everything 50/50 in marriage (Eph. 5:22-23; Gal. 6:1-2); 4) a Christian woman’s body is not her own and she doesn’t have a right to alter its natural function by killing life (1 Cor. 6:19-20); and 5) many people may be attracted to you, including other women, but we must choose according to God’s standards (Matt. 19:4-5; 2 Cor. 6:14).

I believe there has been a perpetual, systematic presentation of the strong black woman that has been used to dupe us. The strong black woman presented over the years does not draw real strength from old wives’ tales, media images or feminism. In fact I believe these three areas, with sin at their root, are the reasons black women who consider themselves strong black women have been walking in their own strength, many times not even knowing this. The bottom line is our strength vs. God’s strength and it is up to us to choose.
Romans 8:1 says, “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” God does not condemn us, black Christian women, if we seek after his Spirit. We must be armed and equipped, able to critique the culture and ourselves so we can seek his Spirit and not walk after the flesh, down the road of the strong black woman.

Copyright 2006-2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Day 7: Losing It, Part 5

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As a sorority member in the 1960s she and her sisters promoted Sickle Cell awareness when no one had (and many still have not) heard of Sickle Cell. They had political rallies and gave more than lip service to caring about each other’s welfare. Though some of those women were not active in the sorority after they graduated, they remained active in each other’s lives. I always remember my mom being a part of the phone chain, or calling everyone herself, to let ‘the sorors’ know when another was in need: funeral arrangements, bills paid, groceries, prayer, etc. They were there for each other like no man, in their estimation, ever was.

Along with her sorority my mom was involved in politics. She was a strategist on some campaigns, a general volunteer on others, an election worker, a Democratic Party committee contributor and a precinct delegate. Most times she worked for women. She shared her heartbeat for protecting women when she taught my sister and me that we didn’t have to let the right hand (my daddy/husbands) know what the left hand (my mama/wives) was doing.

I never sought to be a feminist. I simply repeated my mothers’ behavior and allowed the culture to further influence me with little critique of larger implications. I want you to consider some of the notions that I had, and that you might have, that are feminist thoughts: 1) Men and women are equal in all ways; 2) I don’t need a man to provide for or protect me; 3) We will split everything 50/50 in my marriage (bills, our roles, etc.); 4) I’m not in favor of abortion for me, but I believe women should have a choice to decide what they want to do with their own bodies; and 5) As an adult, you should be able to love whoever, man or woman, finds you loveable.

In short, feminism means giving priority to womanhood, considering your existence through giving preference to female desires with little or no regard to the negative effects on men or children. In this extreme version feminism is matriarchy on crack, especially for the Christian and more specifically for the one calling herself a strong black woman.

Copyright 2006-2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Day 2: Strong Black Women Rubbish

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Since the time of black American slavery (some even dare say before, on the continent of Africa), black women have been considered the center of the black family. Matriarchy, the argument goes, has been necessary because black women have been in the position to support the family without being a threat, as the black man is, to the white power structure. Black women’s leadership, regardless of the reason, has led to us being what writer Zora Neale Hurston called the “mules of society.”

Our hard work has also generated many stereotypes, including the domestic and domineering Aunt Jemima and mammy, and the sassy Sapphire. As a result of these stereotypes, many see black women as overbearing. Some of us don’t consider ourselves domineering; we choose to call ourselves strong black women (SBW). Like some blacks who have reclaimed the word nigger as a term of endearment, black women have embraced the label strong black woman without fully recognizing its detrimental effects. This is the reason I have written this book: To tell us that it is no longer time for us to believe our strength is in sitting on the term strong black women.

I believe that the SBW that emerged from negative stereotypes is a myth that black women have welcomed to their detriment. I am not the only one who argues this; Scholar/writer/activist/feminists Angela Y. Davis and bell hooks, and others–including most recently Sheri Parks in Fierce Angels: The Strong Black Woman in American Life and Culture–advocate controlling, perhaps destroying, the mythical SBW. They say believing this myth has led to black women, indeed, being the “mules of society” and have left them mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally unhealthy. Some suggest a humanist approach to self-healing and creating healthy families, including lesbian homes. But I know the only way healing and healthy families come about is by following God’s design for family and the woman, without giving priority to race.

Black Christian women have embraced the SBW, a label that even leading feminists are rejecting. Buying into this myth has caused many black Christian women to become deluded to the point that we compete with each other, have been deceived by each other, are haughty, and lack submission. Unfortunately, we have taught our daughters how to be SBW, and the satanical cycle will continue if we don’t recognize the source of contention in our homes.

This book exposes how the SBW myth is still being peddled in the media and is wrecking havoc in black Christian women’s lives—personally, with each other, with our boyfriends and spouses, and with our daughters. Black Christian women need to continue to rid ourselves of pride, covetousness, envy, and competition, which I believe largely stem from the notion of what it means to be a strong black woman. Destroying the Myth of the Strong Black Woman gives clear direction in how to shed the myth and embrace what God labels a strong woman.

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Test Your Mama

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Someone once said something like this: “If your mama says she loves you, check it out.”

your mama

your mama


This is the reason why I posted the Alice Walker quotation on Monday and will post other poets’ thoughts, too. Alice Walker is considered a mother of black feminism. I want you to check out even what your mothers say. You might not consider Walker a mother, but many in our American and Christian cultures do; she is an icon. Often we take the words of icons as pure gospel just because we love the people. Let’s scrutinize and never be hoodwinked from sweet sounding words that move our hearts. Let’s also scrutinize so we can give credit where credit is due. Someone may not be a Christian, but they can speak truth, and all truth comes from God.

The Alice Walker quotation was provocative to me because at first reading it seemed anti-biblical. I agree that animals exist for reasons apart from for humans; they help to balance the world’s ecosystem, but it’s arguable whether or not animals were created for humans. After God created animals he placed humans (Adam and Eve) in charge of them (Genesis 1:28). Walker was right about black people not being created for white people. God created us all in His image for His good pleasure not for one race to demand pleasure from another (Revelation 4:11).

Finally, Walker was right in one sense about women not being created for men. All women weren’t created for all men; in other words, women weren’t created so men could dominate them, but women were created for men to have as wives. So the woman who becomes a wife was created for the man who becomes her husband, and vice versa (see 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 and 11:11-12). Man was created first but men cannot continue to be created without a woman. There is definite interdependence with a man and woman, the husband and wife. So you can see I didn’t totally disagreed with Walker, but I just wanted to get you to think without inserting my opinion. Thanks to the many of you who read the previous post and the brave one who responded. I always want to hear from you so tell me what you think of this post or any other one. Can’t wait to hear from you.