I talked about this Monday, but I think there needs to be more clarity between the control that means that you are in a position of oversight and the control that means you are controlling.

When we say someone is in control, she is handling her business well. We say, “She’s in control” with nodding approval and a big smile. When someone is controlling, we simply say, “She’s controlling,” and that woman is handling someone else’s business. We say this with raised eyebrows, pierced lips and a slowly nodding head that let’s everyone know that woman is out of order. She may be in an oversight position, which can be a good thing. But if she is being controlling in that position–overstepping the bounds of leadership (more on that in a future entry), that’s a bad thing. That is the wrong type of control. Be aware of the difference when you are in control!

Copyright 2009 By Rhonda J. Smith

Large and in charge. Running things. The Big Kuhuna. The Big Cheese. The HNIC. You are the woman! If this is you, chances are you are a strong black woman. But just because you are in a position of control doesn’t mean that you are controlling. What’s the difference? Control means to be in charge of, have power over, run. So you can have oversight over a company, a ministry or a family, but the way you give oversight indicates whether or not you’re controlling.

If you manipulate to get people to follow you, meddle when others are handling a task or like to handle everything because you think someone else will mess it up, then you are controlling. If you fear not being in control, give commands to your husband instead of requests, choose your children’s college major or always decide your girlfriend outings, you know you are a control freak. Don’t try to deny it. Accept it and let’s confess together. But more than confess, let’s remember the specific instances where we have been controlling and ask God to help us overcome. What issues of control do you have in your life?

Copyright 2009 By Rhonda J. Smith