Tag Archives: Control

Purposeful Rambling

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I’ve been quiet, still, listening for His voice to tell me when. . .
to finish my current project
to move on to the next one
to call that sister in need
to make adjustments so I can heed whatever He tells me to do.

I’ve been quiet and waiting until. . .
the time is right
I only take flight when He tells me to

And all this has been hard, my crumbling before myself to reveal a new self, a better self, better able to serve Him. And I’m leaning for understanding, for strength, for purpose, for shelter, for hope, for security, for surety, for life—leaning hard and won’t let go, can’t let go, until He blesses like He said He would. This stripping ain’t easy; it’s not supposed to be easy; if so I could brag about what I did, give Him no credit for ALL that He did, and live like I don’t need Him. Oh, do we need Him, God almighty, maker of heaven and earth and all that’s within them, made everything with a purpose, a great intended reason in mind. In Jesus lies every answer we need, but sometimes we have to be quiet, still, listening for His voice to tell us when.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#671-680
A God who speaks to me what I need before I even ask
The children making music together
Wisdom to seek pastoral counsel before posting my blog
A full, but not overwhelming, day
Being fully engaged in prayer outside my normal space
Nathaniel being overjoyed to see me this morning
Joshua clearly communicating the steps of his science project
A Spirit-filled conversation
Being offered a high-visibility ministry writing position
An invitation to speak at a Spirit-focused conference

Special Obligation: Do Your Best

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What Do You Think? Wednesday
Monday I began a raw food program that I have been excited about for six months, but as the day unfolded my excitement folded and all I wanted to do was scream. First, my payment registered late so I got my instructions late, got my groceries late, ate my meals late, missed appointed times of exercise, and started the boys’ school day late. I didn’t want to talk, not even to my best friends; I was frustrated, miserable and pitiful.

Finally, with nothing else left to do, I decided to cry out to the Lord. He sent His word, healed me and delivered me out of my destruction (Psalm 107:19-20): He said, “Did you do the best you could do today? Well, that’s all I ask.” With that I was settled, seasoned and done. God added what I needed to my mixed up day and left me the missing ingredient that would have overpowered the others tossed into the mix. I had done my best. I could not control the payment or instructions arrival, the time I was able to get groceries or when I ate the meals or exercised. I emailed. I called. I searched my refrigerator for food on hand. None of these landed me where I wanted to be, but I did do what I could do. And that’s what God asks us all. He has given us a certain amount of talent and ability and He expects us to use to the fullest what He gives us (Matthew 25:13-29). We can do no more and should do no less than that. We have a special obligation to do our very best. Anything less than that or even lamenting about not being able to do better than our best is sin.

Don’t let the sin of perfectionism that so often plagues recovering strong black women—strong women period—keep you from settling into your very best. Remember, we can only bring under control that which is ours to control. God gives us what we can handle and He is the barometer for doing our very best.

What have you done to be your very best? Were your methods within your control? What were your results? Please, tell me what you think.

Labor Time

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Happy Labor Day!
This is the day we celebrate workers and their contributions to the economy with parades, picnics, barbecues and doing a bunch of nothing if we choose to. This is the day we rest from our labors, and I’m doing that well! But even as we rest let us not forget that we never rest giving our time to God.

It’s Time to Take Time (AKA Commitment to God)

I give a charge to you
One to drive you toward a coup
A feat to beat the devil
at a game where he’s maimed for years.

He’s slashed our senses
cut our cord connecting us to the master,
Jesus Christ our Lord.

We feel his fire
right here on earth
and seek escape from his flames
but we play the game just how he wants.

Had a rough week at work
So we seek support.
We go to church and hear a word
though we haven’t been in two months
won’t return for two months
because things have been going really well.
We’ve been busy
completing reports and such
not leaving much time for lunch or the Lord.

But then it happens again:
Satan rocks our world
spins us in a twirl
and we remember how we felt two months ago.
So to church we go
to bible study we go
and we keep this flow for a few weeks.
But we’re still weak
can’t seem to keep
God where He needs to be
to provide that relief
that stability we need
to have and live a healthy life.

So I give a charge to you
one to drive you toward a coup
a feat to beat the devil
at a game where he’s maimed for years.

I ask you to tithe to God
10 percent of your time
show Him that you mean “He’s mine.”
Jesus took the time
died on a cruel cross
so I could say “He’s mine.”
So I ask you to make the time
for Jesus.
Let us please Him
show Him that you mean “He’s mine.”
Give 10 percent of your time
to study and pray and praise the Word,
God’s Word.
It’s His Word,
not work
or another word or work
that will help us to be where He wants us to be.

So this is a charge to you,
one to drive you toward a coup.
You will beat the devil at a game where he’s maimed for years
if you commit your time to God.

By Rhonda J. Smith
Copyright March 19, 2001

My One Thousand Gifts List

#211-220
God giving me several angles to write about my dad
Becoming more free in my expression of love to God
Pouring in to Bobbi
Being a “blessing” to Tabitha by “being there” for her
Joshua and Nathaniel being able to play outside
Seeing Nathaniel discover in the outdoors
Eating popcorn
Having family devotions
Joshua finally understanding how to give praise reports
Joshua being excited about keeping a gratitude journal

Give Up Your World

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“..(A)nyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”—2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)

The other day my oldest son asked if he could arise in the morning to join me during my prayer time. I was so pleased, but I wasn’t always this way. When Joshua was 6 God told me some things He had called Joshua to be and one was a prayer warrior. I asked God to show me how to train him to war in the spirit this way, and I didn’t hear anything from God. Suddenly, at 6, Joshua began to arise early on his own, sit quietly as I prayed and would hand me tissue so I could dry my tears. At first I thought his rising was endearing. After he kept joining me for about a week, I was upset. “Can’t I have some time to myself?” Then God reminded me that I had asked him to show me how to train Joshua. What better way than to model prayer and have him pray kneeling beside me right after me? But I soon slipped back into my selfish way, being happy a few weeks later when Joshua stopped waking up. I reasoned that the season for training him during my quiet time must be over. Truth is, discipline is part of the training, and I should have awakened him even when he didn’t get up. I did sometimes, but for the last two years that has been only a handful of times. So last week when Joshua asked to wake up to join me in prayer, I gladly agreed. I’m so glad I did. We had a rich time, and I got a chance to see a bit of what God sees every time we walk in selfishness.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things.—1 Corinthians 13:11

Before we prayed Joshua asked, “What happens to our bodies if our spirit goes to be with God when we die?” Of course, this led to a Bible study on Christ’s return and us receiving glorified bodies and reigning with Jesus on a new earth (1 Corinthians 15:51-52; 2 Corinthians 3:18; 2 Peter 3:13; Revelation 20:6). To give him a picture of what our glorified bodies might be able to do I had him read Luke 24:15-31 when Jesus walked and supped with the men from the Emmaus road then vanished from their sight. When I told him that our bodies would be supernatural, like Jesus’ body, letting us do supernatural feats like superheroes, he became sad. I was perplexed. Like his dad, Joshua loves comic book characters and he frequently asks me which ones I think are the strongest. When I asked what made him sad about getting a new improved body he said, “I want this body. I like this body. And I don’t want there to be a new earth. This earth is perfect. I want it to stay the same.” No matter how many benefits I told him about having a glorified body and reminded him of the wretchedness of this world he still wanted to cling to the old. He was determined to remain unchanged in spite of the pain and disappointment he feels in his own body and sees in the world. He didn’t want anyone to disrupt his familiar or his comfort. He didn’t want anyone, not even God, to change his world. I just hugged him and told him I understood, recognizing that he was a child and just didn’t understand how wonderful his change would be. I knew that when he grew up, his view would change. I determined that I would continue to be there for him, allowing God to disrupt my quiet time world, so I can help Joshua mature in his faith and talk the way he should.

So often those of us recovering from strong black womanhood seek to maintain our established order so that we can control our circumstances. We can’t handle a change to our world, even one that would help us create a better world or just allow God to give us a better one. Even though we know our present personal world may be in need of repair, we somehow convince ourselves that everything is perfect and fight to keep living there. Give up the fight and the temper tantrums and let God serve you a better world. This is a challenge, but one we must rise to so we walk out 1 Corinthians 13:11 and be the new creations the Bible declares us to be.

What worlds have you been clinging to that you need to let go of?

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

My One Thousand Gifts List

#141-150
A woman’s desire to follow God
An anointed sermon
Dinner with Stephanie
The boys making their own fun at Stephanie’s
Flynn cleaning the kitchen
Flynn putting the boys to bed
Flynn making me tea
Being able to rest
Spending time with family
My headache dissipating

I Can’t Do This

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

In the early morning hours trying to put me and some projects to bed I told God “I can’t do this” as I folded laundry while I waited for double-sided papers to come through the printer. This was 2 a.m. when I was still organizing activities so my expanding writing and speaking ministry fit with my ever so steady wife and mommy ministry. Holding up a towel, I said, “I’m good doing this. I can do this. I know how to do this.” Then in my spirit I knew that was the problem. I’m comfortable in my homemaking role and that of supporting my husband and caring for my children. This I have done full-time for five and a half years, the last three with very little outside of the home ministry. But God has shifted me and I feel that shift in my spirit. I know it’s time to move beyond my walls and blog; I have to follow God’s call, even—especially—when it seems impossible. He operates there, wanting His strength to be made perfect in our weakness so we know just who did what we did (2 Corinthians 12:9). I exist for God’s glory (Revelation 4:11). I must follow His story for my life. How about you?

In what ways have you been hesitant to move beyond your comfort zone and into the greater things God has for you?

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith