Help With Submission

I messed up on Monday. The same day I wrote about my struggle with being gracious that has challenged my submission was the same day I failed with that struggle. Submission is not easy. And sometimes, like Monday, I think it sucks in the traditional way. I have a hard time remembering that submission sucks out the bad to make way for the good. To help me focus, I know I have to:

? Want to do right. I have to seek God to give me the desires of my heart. He knows the ones that should be there and submission is at the top of the list (Psalm 139:23-24).
? Think about doing right. Philippians 4:8 should be at the forefront of every Christian’s mind no matter what the issue is. Thinking about the good submission brings will help me to carry it out.
? Remember the example of right. Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of submission. He left heaven, veiled His glory and came to earth, following the will of God the Father (Philippians 2:1-8). I must remember that if God himself came down from heaven and gave up His right to rule, then surely I, who don’t have a right to rule, can submit to those God gave to lead me. Also, seek guidance from women you know who submit.
? Know that I can do right. God has placed in me the ability not only to want to do right but the ability to do right (Philippians 2:13).
? Focus on helping to set other things right. I will envision how my submission will influence generations to come, and let a better world be my incentive for submission.

As I am on my journey, I will keep these books close at hand:

• Liberated Through Submission, by P.B. Wilson
• Authority and Submission, by Watchman Nee
• Touching Godliness Through Submission, by K.P. Yohannan

I hope you journey on to submission. With all this help, I intend to and expect to succeed with grace which will lead me to submission.

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Submission Benefits

If you want to know the state of Christianity, take a look at Christian marriages. What you will find is divorce among Christians is as high as those of non-Christians (The Barna Group of Ventura, California). Christian husbands and wives are intended to be role models of what Christianity is all about. As it stands, Christian husbands and wives have been poor examples for the Christian faith, and, because of this, I believe the impact of Christianity has suffered. Nonetheless, the mandate for husbands and wives still remain. We are to model Jesus Christ’s relationship to the church. Our marriages must show what good leadership and good submission are about, thus putting our great sacrificial leader on display and showing why we sacrifice our lives for Him.

But I don’t know how many of us consider that our marriages are a model to impact Christianity. I don’t know how many know that husbands and wives are both called to submit (a husband to God’s command of leadership and a wife to God’s command of submission to her husband). And I surely don’t know how many women realize that the calling of submission is greater for wives because we have to submit to God, other believers and to our own husband (James 4:7 and Ephesians 5:21, 22). And this greater calling gives us more opportunities to excel or fail. Because the lives of so many in our sphere are at stake, I want you to remember that submission sucks (see prior post). And because submission sucks, so many can be blessed through us. I believe the greatest individual beneficiary of submission is our own children.

When children see submission at work daily in us, they are ingrained with its power:

  • 1) They understand what a godly wife looks like and will know what type of woman to be or to pursue.

    2) They understand order. With a hierarchal structure, children recognize authority and submission and can use this understanding in the workplace, whether they are a leader or subordinate.

    3) They have stability, knowing they can count on the consistent provisions that their parents’ roles bring to the home as opposed to whichever parent feels like fulfilling a particular role on any given day.

    4) They understand the interaction between Jesus Christ and His church. Even though they may not know that’s what they are seeing, as they study the Bible more, they will see that this interaction is being modeled in their home.

    5) They understand how they should submit to Jesus Christ. Seeing submission at work paves the way for children to embrace submitting to salvation through Jesus Christ and to His lordship.

  • With children as the greatest individual beneficiary of submission, the body of Christ has the greatest chance of repairing its scarred reputation of being no different from (or worse than) the world. I believe our children who embrace submission because of our model will perpetuate God’s intent for marriage and cause thousands to be drawn to Christianity, thus building up the Kingdom of God. By submitting for your children’s sake, you submit for the Kingdom’s sake and become a repairer of the breach (Isaiah 58:12). Women, won’t you join with me to be (one of) the greatest factors to the growth of Christianity? Lay aside your flesh and move according to the Spirit. Let’s do this for Christ and His Kingdom.

    Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Submission Sucks

    Submission: Placing one’s personal mission under the mission of another; to voluntarily give up personal rights for the rights of others; to rank under another, as a soldier ranking under an officer.

    Ahhh, the start of a new year. It brings new resolutions and always new challenges to those resolutions. I already find myself renegotiating one of my own goals: to be more gracious to my husband when he messes up so that I am more submissive. My husband doesn’t see this as a needed goal because typically I extend grace and submit. He thinks I do well, and I do most times because my husband is a sweetheart, constantly doting and thinking of and doing what will make my life better. So I’ve considered chucking the gracious goal. If he’s satisfied, then I’m satisfied, I reason. But I remember why I set the goal in the first place: For those times when my husband doesn’t think as fast as I think he should or plan like I think he should and I’m at war with him in my mind. I have to fight hard not to kill him in there, but I injure him many times; in my mind his ego is bruised, his feelings are hurt and he becomes senile: “Who is this woman I married?”

    I don’t really want to bruise his ego, hurt his feelings or make him wonder why he married me so I have to take control of my thoughts that come from an impure heart that will eventually reach out to dishonor my husband with words and cause me not submit to his way of processing, his way of coming to a solution. Submission is important for my personal growth, my husband’s well being, our marriage’s health, the stability of the children and the growth of God’s kingdom. The growth of God’s kingdom is the key reason for submission and all the other reasons help to craft the key.

    “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24).

    After giving the wives instructions, the Apostle Paul tells husbands how they are to treat their wives, always comparing the husband to Jesus Christ. And then toward the end of the passage it says, “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (v. 32). So Paul tells us that the great mystery of marriage is that the union is akin to Christ’s relationship to the church. Because I am the church, I am a subject of Christ in the kingdom of God. As a wife, I am a subject of my husband in our home. So in essence, what I speak to my husband, I speak to Christ. How I speak to my husband is how I speak to Christ. What I do to my husband, I do to Christ. What I speak about my husband, I speak about Christ. What I think about my husband, I think about Christ. Oh the tangled web we wives weave when we don’t think of our Savior but only think that submission sucks. We don’t want to submit because we’d rather that our husbands submit to our ideas, submit to our plans, submit to our way of doing and thinking, submit to us. But I propose that we think of submission sucking a different way.

    Submission can suck the life out of your flesh yet give breath to your spirit. Submission can suck your toxins from your husband and kiss him with peace and joy. Submission can suck laziness and disobedience from your children and energize them with a desire to work and please. Submission can suck the parasites from the pews and infuse new blood to the church. Yes, submission sucks to get out the bad and to give life the way God intends for life to be.

    Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Proper Faith

    Happy New Year!

    This is the start of a new decade and, for many, the start of a new day for a new life. Some of us have been knocked down. Others of us have been knocked out. Some have been mishandled and misplaced, but we find ourselves here on this day, and I thank the Lord! Times may have been tough, but God got us through.

    On this, the seventh and final day of Kwanzaa, focusing on Imani (faith), let us place faith in God and not in our black selves to be better and to live better lives. As we prepare blackeye peas and promises to do better, let us remember that God has laid the foundation for us to do well. It’s not the luck of a pea or the faith in self that has kept or will ever keep us. God has kept us, and He is the one who tells us who we are and what we should think about ourselves:

    We are beautiful because God says we’re beautiful (Psalm 139:14).
    Our blackness is relevant because God says it’s relevant (Acts 17:26).
    We can be used to do anything because God uses us too (Acts 2:10, 8:27).

    As we encounter trials this year, including white racism, let us have faith in God because He has given us the proper perspective to deal with racists and any other haters. We can be proud of who we are and have faith in where we can go because of the faithful one, our Lord Jesus Christ, who gives meaning and purpose to our lives. We can make 2010 a good one because of Him.

    Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Deconstructing Kwanzaa

      “[King Uzziah] set himself to seek God in the days of Zechariah, who instructed him in the fear of God, and as long as he sought the Lord, God made him prosper. . . . But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction. For he was unfaithful to the Lord his God and entered the temple of the Lord to burn incense on the altar of incense” (2 Chronicles 26:5, 16).

    About 10 years ago, I thought I had my career all figured out. I would be an acclaimed academician, teaching, writing books and papers, publishing them in journals and presenting them at conferences. I called myself a scholar and defined that that would mean always engaging students and writing papers that would give attention to African American issues. All this was to put my name on the map and to contribute to the exultation of African Americans. The plan was air tight but not right because I hadn’t sought the Lord’s direction. After accomplishing most of the plan, it fell apart because I fell apart, buckling under the weight of self-determination.

    Self-determination: “[T]he ability or right to make your own decisions without interference from others” (Encarta Dictionary) or commonly defined during Kwanzaa “to define ourselves, name ourselves, create for ourselves and speak for ourselves.” This is kujichagulia, the second principle of Kwanzaa. And though this is the fifth day of Kwanzaa, deconstructing self-determination is important to understand the overall danger of Kwanzaa for Christians.

    1. Self, based on self, cannot be your focus. “None is righteous, no, not one” (Romans 3:10). Understand that when you of your own power decide for yourself who you are and where you’re going, you will end up bankrupt every time. Christians are not meant to define themselves or their destiny. When we do, our lives fall short of what God intends; we are incapable of bringing forth good success.
    2. It is always the job of the creator to name and define the creature. “You turn things upside down! Shall the potter be regarded as the clay, that the thing made should say of its maker, ‘He did not make me’; or the thing formed say of him who formed it, ‘He has no understanding’” (Isaiah 29:16)? If we decide apart from God who we are and where we are going, we are regarding God, the potter, as the clay, disregarding His authority in our lives to name and define us and tell us what to create and say on whoever’s behalf.
    3. Definitions determine destiny. “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits” Proverbs 18:21. What we speak (life-defeating or life-affirming words) will be our focus and we will receive the fruit (consequences) of what we speak. So we can either become what we say we are based upon our own notions or we can become who God says we are based on His notions. Our notions are always life-defeating; when we act on our own accord, we are following our old life, one that was without Jesus Christ. Once we accepted Jesus Christ as savior, we were given a new life so our notions must be His notions (2 Corinthians 5:17); He is the one who defines us and, thus, determines our destiny.

    King Uzziah had a good destiny when he allowed God to define him and followed his God-given destiny. The minute he was self-determined and tried to move out of his God-determined place as king and act like a priest, he became weak; God struck him with leprosy and he died with it. He no longer ruled and lived alone until he died. Self-determination always has dire consequences.

    No Christian should be in the business of naming or defining herself, and any creativity and speaking forth should be to develop Christ’s kingdom and not the kingdom of self, be it an individual self or a black collective self. Any movement apart from the direction of the Holy Spirit is self driven, flesh driven, and has no part in the kingdom of God.

    Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith