Maturing into Motherhood

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

— 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

I have gotten older. “Duh,” you might say. “Aging happens to everyone from the moment we’re born.” But I really didn’t begin to feel older until a few weeks ago. Of course I realized my transition some years ago when I didn’t know names of popular artists or their songs AND I didn’t care. I had joined my parents’ generation and gotten amply disengaged from the current cool. This didn’t bother me since I had always flown in my own musical realm. But a few weeks ago was different. This was when it seems overnight a nest of grays had sprouted along my front hairline; an 18 year old couldn’t say why she thought I looked so much different than the woman in my 13-year-old wedding photo; and it had been months since anyone mistook me for being at least 10 years younger than I am. I settled into my eventual, always knowing that aging is inevitable. I must admit that accepting and liking my physical changes are not the same for me. But the time that changed my physical appearance is the same time that changed my spiritual position and that pleases (and, in some ways, has shocked) me.

“You’re such a mother,” said Tabitha, one of the seven women with whom I have a formal Christian discipleship relationship. She was watching me interact with my children and remarked on my mother nurturing. She said the same thing last week, this time commenting on how I mother her and her discipleship sisters. “You really want us to be okay and reconciled,” she said about the way I had mediated a small conflict that she and another of my daughter’s in Christ had. “You didn’t take sides; you just wanted both of us to be okay.” I do, and I want the same for my boys but my desire has not always been evident.

For years I struggled with strife, having to leave ‘up and out’ words with folks who needed to know the extent of their foolishness or density. I had little mercy for the weak in mind and made it my business to tell them so. Somebody had to tell them, I reasoned, so I assigned myself that job. I resigned years ago, when the magnification of God’s mercy overshadowed my sins. His great covering was big enough that I couldn’t just keep His warmth for myself; I wanted others to feel God’s comfort and how I could nestle in His care. That was my great desire and for years only remained in my thoughts. Though I had gotten glimpses of folks under God’s cover with me, Tabitha’s encouraging word let me know that I had made room for more than I thought. And even with a new girlfriend’s recent surprise that I used to be Zorro because “you’re so kind and thoughtful” let me know that I have been more consistent in my new way than I imagined. Time may have aged my body, but I praise God that time also has matured me in the spirit. Even though I am older I am brand new.

In what ways have you become new in Christ?

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

My One Thousand Gifts List

#131-140
Joshua shoveling Nana’s snow
Joshua spending time with two generations
Flynn being able to attend evangelism training
Renee loving One Thousand Gifts
Renee wanting me to go to Paris with her
A smooth Sunday morning
Going to church and on time
Being able to sit in the sanctuary
A quiet child during church
Being able to serve at the altar