Before I met my husband, my dad was the sweetest, most thoughtful and chivalrous man I knew. Curtis Anderson Sr. doted on my mom so much that one of her single girlfriends had the nerve to ask my sister would she mind having her as a stepmom if something ever happened to my mother. My dad would open doors, buy her things before she asked and rarely raised his voice with her. He was the family chef, so my mother never had to cook a meal nor did my siblings or I. To this day my brother is surprised that my sister and I cook so well, never being made to learn to cook or prepare a family meal. We were so self-absorbed, we never even volunteered. My father loved to give and I loved that he loved to give. To this day most of the classic suits I own are the ones my dad bought me, sometimes just because “they looked like you.” In my eyes he was the perfect man. No one could replace my daddy, but with Flynn I get that same love. In the beginning of our relationship, though, I almost blew it.
We were riding in the car one evening when dating and I took out something to read. Without me having to ask, Flynn turned on the light to help me see. Most normal people would have said “Thank you.” I, instead, began to berate him, telling him that I didn’t need his help and if I wanted the light on I could have turned it on myself. He responded with a soft word and had the nerve to still date me. Like my father, he saw a need and sought to fulfill it. Flynn wanted the best for me, but I was a strong black woman gone berserk (is that redundant?). He was trying to help me yet I saw his chivalry as controlling me, imposing his will on my life and thus redefining who I was. That little act spoke loudly the type of bondage I was in and that so many recovering strong black women are in. We shun the help that comes to us even though we are struggling:
So, then, brethren, we are not children of the bondwoman but of the free. Stand fast, therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.—Galatians 4:31-5:1
Quench not the Spirit.—1 Thessalonians 5:19
I think we forget the position God has placed us in. Like a caring father or husband, Jesus Christ saw our need and gave of Himself and through the price He paid to take away our sin we have been grafted in the body of Christ. We have been provided for even when we didn’t know we needed provision. We have been given sight when we couldn’t see. We are constantly doted on and directed because of Christ’s deep love and care for us. He never imposes His will upon us but makes it clear and empowers us to want it and choose it, all for our good. We too often resist His love and choose the bondage of self-will. But Jesus is ever present, vowing to never leave us or forsake us. With His presence and our desire to let Him lead we will break out of bondage and surely succeed.
I praise God for a father and a husband who remind me of Jesus. And I praise God for regulating my mind when I didn’t accept Flynn’s love, giving me a second chance to receive what He knew I needed.
How have you rejected God’s blessings? How have you been able to adjust your mind to receive what God has for you?
Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith
My One Thousand Gifts List
#111-120
Andrina’s safe travel to and from Cleveland for Aunt Lois’ funeral
Andrina helping me to get Xfinity operating
God giving me an on the spot 1 Peter 5:8 bible study to help Joshua deal with Alexis
Joshua understanding the bible study
Joshua accepting his punishment for destroying the air freshener cap
Managing the children without anger
Preparing a tasty, fast and simple dinner
A lack of desire for meat
Intimate time with Flynn
Nate sleeping through the night
