Friday Feature: Abstinence and Trust

Life and death have met me a lot this week—their notions and results of those who have chosen each have caused me to think deeply, more definitively, about my own beliefs, particularly in light of the 38th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision legalizing abortion. Whenever a hot button issue surfaces, Christians should take a stand, if not publically, in their own hearts based upon the heart of God. His counsel to us—not our feelings or conscience—is what we must follow, but this is not always easy to do, especially for women like strong black women.

In keeping with natural methods of healthcare, abstinence is undoubtedly the only natural way to keep from getting pregnant. This should be the decision for Christian singles, with sex being reserved for marriage. In marriage, ideally you and your husband should agree on whether or not to have a child. If you decide not to have children, the only natural form of birth control is the rhythm method. You could abstain from sex, but you would have another set of issues besides unwanted children, and those issues you don’t want.

But what about those hard issues, like an unexpected (and unwanted) pregnancy that comes from a slip in decision on a lonely night or from a cruel man, a stranger or one in your own bedroom? Is abortion acceptable in these situations? Is abortion the “natural” response to getting rid of something you didn’t expect, want, or plan for or don’t want around to remind you of a bad decision or the violent act? If the mother of a poet I love who loves so many or an evangelist who feeds the souls and bodies of thousands each year decided abortion was natural after they were raped, I and so many others would miss the love of these soul-feeding wonders. And I wonder what soul-feeding wonders were among the more than 50 million babies aborted since the passage of Roe v. Wade in 1973. And I wonder how many mothers thought their decision was natural because they were told that what was in their womb was not yet life or that they had the power to change their destiny and they believed it, wanted and needed to believe that, because they didn’t know or hadn’t considered the counsel of God.

We have believed that we have the freedom to choose in all things. God would not have given man volition if we didn’t have the right to choose, we say. But He says, “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19). God gives us a choice but then commands us to choose life. I choose life, personally knowing the horror of rape and the turmoil of receiving something I didn’t expect from it. God’s council is true and life affirming even in the midst of personal darkness, death visited upon us. His council is the only one that we can trust and eventually rest secure in (Psalm 56:11, 2 Corinthians 1:8-10).

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

Don’t Believe the Lies

Sometimes we, who too often believe we are self-empowered strong black women, lose belief when OUR powers wane. We may begin to think we can’t do anything spectacular, impact a soul with the power of the Holy Ghost or change our mind even though we’ve tried dozens of times. We may not have peace in the midst of a storm. Perhaps we get here because we haven’t understood or really yet believed the pure Gospel of Jesus Christ. We can change that.

    1. Pick preachers who follow this example: 1 Corinthians 2:1-5
    2. Select scriptures that point you toward belief beyond salvation: Psalm 112:6-7, Matthew 5:16, Luke 10:19, Romans 10:17, 2 Corinthians 3:18; Philippians 2:13, 4:13, Hebrews 11:6.
    3. Find friends who will stand with you like Jonathan’s armor bearer: 1 Samuel 14:1-15
    4. Meditate more on these scriptures and other things like them: Philippians 4:4-9

You can do whatever God commands and be whoever He declares you are. Yes. Now please believe that.

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

Friday Feature: Rest Well

When I was in college I really had that strong black woman thing going on. I was an officer and in charge of several events with my sorority, was active in my church, worked a part-time job often full-time, took a full course load and made it my business to hang out just about every weekend. I thought I could handle it all until my gums told me something different.

Yes, my gums, those things that hold your teeth, had developed a number of painful lesions that my dentist told me come from stress. That was my first lesson in the impact of poor healthcare on the body. Over the years I received more lessons battling acne, costochronditis (inflammation in the rib or cartilage), Candida (too much bad yeast) and osteoarthritis (loss of cartilage between bones in the joints, often causing them to swell). Sick of just getting chemical injections and taking medications to mask the pain I began a major search for naturopathic medicines to get to the root of my issues. I discovered a whole world of natural ways that God had for me and couldn’t believe how duped I had been into believing that only synthetic medicines could cause me relief. Like me, I know there are some of you who have believed the same thing. Well, for your information and to encourage you to start your own natural health quest, I am going to share with you over the next several Fridays a natural method that I have used that has worked for me. I am also going to feature others who have used natural methods that have worked for them.

    #1—Get More Rest

The first and very simple change that worked for me was more rest. I have to get between seven and eight hours of sleep each night. The first time my gum lesions appeared, my dentist gave me a prescription for penicillin and told me to take it easy. The next time my gums became sore (a sign that lesions were coming), I didn’t seek medicine but rest. I do this every time and rest works.

Rest regenerates the cells. This makes my skin clearer, relieves my pain, and prevents or eliminates my lesions. And we all know that a good night’s rest clears the mind, minimizes bags and energizes the body. There will be times when we can’t get to sleep early enough to get a full night’s rest, but we have to make these times as few as possible. We have to forfeit those regular late night phone conversations, social media interactions, volunteer overtime, and that bedtime movie. These all make me feel good when I do them, but I pay for them when I’m dragging the next day. We also have to stop staying up worrying about things that we can’t change.

It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.—Psalm 127:2

Life is demanding enough, let alone for those of us recovering from being that unrealistic strong black woman. We need to be healthy in spirit, mind and body. God wants us this way and helps provide it for us through sleep. At the beginning of the year with all our fresh goals, let’s add getting real rest so we can be refreshed, energized and healthy to do the work we are meant to do.

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

The Feast

Our Ethiopian Feast-Before


Our Ethiopian Feast-After

We came together to feast, me and a former cop and soldier now mother and multiple business owner; an office manager and former divorced mother of three big boys, now a married mom of four; a former entrepreneur turned married homeschooling mom of six; a rapper who showcased skills on 106 and Park who now sparks the spiritual into the secular; and an engineer married to an engineer and mom of a boy and girl. We came together to feast, all ministry leaders and me the top ministry leader leading them into something different, something good, and they ate it up, this, my favorite, Ethiopian food that none had tried and one didn’t like after having the same four times before.

Throwing Down

We feasted on something different, food never touching their palates, food transforming their palates into something new. We, a table of used to be’s and wanna be’s now wanting to be whatever Jesus wants us to be and we are open. We are willing to consume the feast He has for us, no matter how different or how many times we did or didn’t like it, we will try, knowing it could even be yummy like our Ethiopian meal.

Standing: Taivia; Nicole, Charyse and Chevelle; Seated: Helena & Me

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

Right Now Salvation-The 5th Day of Christmas

On the 5th day of Christmas my true love gave to me feet like hinds’ feet (Habakkuk 3:19).

One of the problems I had with Christianity before I became a Christian was when the saints only looked for hope in the “by and by” and not the here and now. They talked so much about heaven and only longed to be there that some of their prayer meetings could have easily been pity party suicide watches. While they talked about their rough lives that Jesus would save them from in the by and by, I wondered when the day might be that they would check out of the here and now to hurry the by and by. Perhaps some of the saints never read Habakkuk 3:18-19:
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