Tag Archives: Black Woman

My Strong Black Woman Definitions

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This is a great forum. I appreciate the feedback I have been receiving through comments here, my email and face-to-face conversations. As I seek to pick your brains regarding your thoughts on who the strong black woman is I want to make sure that you clearly understand what my ponderings are based on. To that end, please take note of my definitions (below) and check out the newly added “About Blog” page.

One of my friends said she has two definitions of a strong black woman, a BC (Before Christ) one and an AC (After Christ) one. So far in this blog I have been discussing what I have termed “misguided notions” about who a strong black woman is. To use my friend’s classification, this would be a before Christ view. I have also expressed my desire to walk in the strength of God and to be called by a new name, one other than strong black woman, so there is little confusion about who I now am. There is no shame in being strong, black or woman. As a Christian there should be shame in walking in your own power and prioritizing race and gender over your faith heritage. This is a BC attitude. This is who I once was.

But because my memory is so strong, the BC keeps coming back and interfering with my AC walk. This blog talks about the BC strong black woman and aims to more fully focus on the AC strong black woman who I want to simply call God’s Woman.

Definitions
My perspective will reflect the following definitions:

(BC) A strong black woman is one who has a keen racial and gender identity and her thoughts, speech and acts primarily reflect an emphasis on these attributes.

(AC) God’s Woman is one who has a Christ-centered identity and prioritizes her thoughts, speech and acts from this perspective.

Copyright 2009 By Rhonda J. Smith

Strong Black Woman Issues

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Oooooo. The title just sounds like I’m trying to start something. Really, though, I’m not trying to pick a fight, but I do want to incite some wrestling, just a little tussle, in your soul, to identify some strong black woman issues (particularly yours if you’re an SBW). Now if you’re not a strong black woman, you’re welcome to identify, but be ready for a fight. Doing so is like white people using the N-word or somebody else talking about your crazy mama. You just don’t do it aloud and not expect some resistence. But I want to know what anyone thinks. Hearing from “outsiders” often gives a much needed perspective to move from where you are to where God would have you to be.

As I continue to consider the definition of a strong black woman, one of the main characteristics I see is oppression. Discrimination comes because of race and gender. And don’t be talented, too. Whew!!! It can be rough. I don’t know how many times I received that “You’re normal like me,” “How did YOU do that?” or “We didn’t think you could handle this assignment” look or comment, been altogether ignored or just flat out called a name. Other oppression is real and a real pain.

Besides other oppression, there is self oppression, and this is what we don’t like to talk about. This is how we oppress ourselves as we attempt to combat other oppression and even fulfill expectations that people have of us. It’s even when do harm to our sister to try to maintain where we think we should be (Ouch!). I realize that I’m in recovery because of the scars of other and self oppression. Yes, there have been some “white man” problems, but what about those problems I caused. How have I contributed to my need for recovery?

You know I want to hear your story. What are your other and self oppression issues? We can’t ignore what’s happened (and continues to happen) from without, but let’s wrestle with our own mess.

Copyright 2009 By Rhonda J. Smith

Strong Black Woman in Recovery

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The heartbeat of what I have read over the years, recent links and even some of your (and definitely my) comments are the reasons I am a “Parenthetical Recovering Strong Black Woman.” What is the heartbeat of most strong black women writings that I have seen? There is this doublespeak that takes place: On one hand we revere this woman who believes she has to take on everything and take others to task who don’t respect her; and on the other hand we say we don’t want to be her but are proud that we are her. There is a sense of schizophrenia happening, and this dual reality has me in a tailspin.

I am a Parenthetical Recovering Strong Black Woman because I recognize the need to pause about why I accept being called a strong black woman. I recognize my strong black woman wounds and the need to heal from those wounds. And I understand the need to be a woman, always recovering but never quite looking the same as the strong black woman without the parenthesis. I am a woman still in process, learning to properly redefine myself as a strong black woman, and in doing so I realize that I not only need to behave differently but I need new terminology to reflect the change. I don’t feel comfortable calling myself a strong black woman because of all the dizzying doublespeak and labels (deserved and undeserved) that come with that name. I declare a new name, though I don’t know what it is. But one thing I do know: In Christ I am new. Old things have passed away. All things are new (2 Corinthians 5:17). I just need to catch up with Christ’s declaration of who I am. With his leading, I know I’ll get there.

Copyright 2009 By Rhonda J. Smith

(Recovering) Strong Black Woman?

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Happy Year 2009, Everyone!

Some have wondered why the word recovering is in my blog title and in parenthesis for that matter. Well, that’s the type of discussion I want to have. Without yet telling you directly why recovering is in the title and why I placed it in parenthesis, let me start the discussion by talking about the meaning of recovering and the purpose of parentheses.

As we know, recovering means the process of getting back; restoring to a normal state; regaining. I placed recovering in parenthesis because this type of punctuation is meant for you to pause and consider what’s inside it. The parenthetical word can sometimes be deleted without affecting the writer’s true intent. But pausing to consider the verbal interruption surely adds another layer to the original thought.

What do you think of when you see the phrase (Recovering) Strong Black Woman? What affect does the parenthesis have on your understanding of the title? And based on your understanding, would you say you are a “Parenthetical Recovering Strong Black Woman”? I won’t keep you hanging. I will eventually tell you my thoughts behind the word and its parenthesis, but I first want to hear from you.

Copyright 2009 By Rhonda J. Smith

A New Strong Black Woman

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This is the last day of the year! And like many of you I have been thinking about goals for next year and what I want to leave in 2008 to make 2009 great. As I was praying and thinking about what should be the focus next year, how I would continue to recover from some misguided strong black woman ways, I remembered a poem I wrote more than 10 years ago that exalted the people and the thoughts that I truly revered at that time.

Click below to listen to the poem or read it following the link.
my-heroes-are-to-the-extreme2
My Heroes are to the Extreme

The advent of pop culture
borrowing,
no stolen,
from hip hop pulses
forces heroes into subconsciouses
through TV, the big screen.
Superhumans take flight
fancying fries, colas, Nikes
in delight.
They get alllll
the money
and little G’s wanna be just like them.

I don’t need no Nike
collagen lips and hips
some poster white child
telling me what womanhood is.

Right in my life
women, men
show me what womanhood is

My ultimate heroes.
My heroes are to the extreme
they have the real thing.

Grandma’s full lips
whisper
secrets of macaroni and cheese
recipes and what it takes
to keep a marriage straight for 58 years.

Auntie spread her wings
north
went to school
twice married
twice divorced
forward thinking
broke traditional roles and rules.

My daddy integrates his classroom
tells white humans
about black humans and other humans
being treated as subhumans
to humanize them
to tell the truth.

Yes, my heroes are to the extreme
they have the real thing
tell the real thing.

Baldwin told of his triple score
poor, black, homosexual
quite effective
shared his messages
without fearing writing suicide

My mama
my hero to the extreme
she’s had about 10 jobs
two careers
three vocations —
Not unstable
she’s just able to maintain
her anthem belter is Frank Sinatra
and she does it her way.

I learned to do it my way
Cuz my heroes are to the extreme
they have the real thing
tell the real thing
Don’t fear human retribution
just divine input

Yes, they have the real thing
my heroes are to the extreme.

Copyright 1997 Rhonda Anderson

In 2009 I want to be someone’s hero because of my extreme commitment to Christ, what He wants me to do and be. When people see me I want them to see greatness because I seek God’s thing, not my own with an afterthought of His approval. I want to make 2009 great so that others will see my great works and glorify my God in heaven (Matthew 5:16).

So my commitment in 2009 is to be more flexible when things don’t go my way (See Out of Control post) and to submit more consistently to the authorities in my life even though God has given me power over all power of the enemy (Luke 10:19), and I can hear very well from God for myself. I want to show love to all people, not just black people, because of the love of Christ that flows through me. It is through Him that I live, move and have my being (Acts 17:28), and I must, and plan to, do what He wants me to do.

What is your commitment in 2009? Please comment about your 2009 goals, especially those that focus on what God wants for you and not only what you want. And Happy New Year!

Copyright 2008 By Rhonda J. Smith