Tag Archives: Black Woman

Rid Your Slanderous Talk, Part 1

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Harsh words may have been our way, but as the previous two posts on slander have shown, this is not the way we should be. For so many of us—black women in America, fighting back and proactively countering inevitable sexist and racists attacks, slander has been a way of life. Fighting with harsh words may the American way, but as Christian women we must choose God’s way. Here’s what He says:

Recognize the difficulty in taming your tongue (James 3:7-8)—We are told, “For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” This is a fact that we must accept.

Call on God for help (Psalm 107)—Once you recognize your difficulty of taming your tongue, seek God’s help. He tells us how hard it is for us to tame our tongue, yet requires that we do so. James 3 tells us that the remedy for taming the tongue is to use “the meekness of wisdom” (v. 13), giving someone sound guidance in a gentle manner. The only way that we can do so is with God’s help because wisdom is not natural to us; it comes from God (Isaiah 11:2). Don’t quench His help (1 Thessalonians 5:19); pursue it.

Be meek (Titus 3:2)—I have friends who are astonished at how I use grace with them. One knew me as Zorro; the other has given me free reign to tell whatever I need to tell her, but God still leads me to do so gently. This is because I know if I give myself license to slander, I may help her in the short run but in the long run she may be damaged. I don’t want to leave that to chance. She has given me the power to speak however I want, but I’d rather choose meekness, having my power under control, instead of railing on her.

There is so much more to say so stay tune for Monday’s part 2 installment.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

New Vision: The List

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Whatever your calling is in life, I believe God expects a Christian woman who is black to exhibit the following *characteristics:

1. God fearing
2. Holy
3. Non-slanderous
4. Sober
5. Teacher of good things
6. Pure
7. Level headed
8. Domesticated
9. Benevolent
10. Trustworthy
11. Hard worker
12. Nurturer
13. Time prudent
14. Generous
15. Resourceful
16. Helpful
17. Caring
18. Well-groomed
19. Astute with business
20. Wise
21. Kind
22. Good reputation
23. Strong
24. Disciplined
25. Unashamed of cultural heritage
26. Lover of her husband
27. Lover of her children
28. Submissive to her husband

You know I want to know what you think. Respond to this list or submit your own. There is a lot to discuss.
*Characteristics primarily based on Proverbs 31:10-31 and Titus 2:3-5

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Vision, Understanding & Practice

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When I was five I used to play secretary. I would clear my nightstand of the unnecessary contents and replace them with stacks of paper, pencils and pens, and a stapler, write some notes, staple some papers and stack and restack piles of papers. I never became a secretary, though I thought this was the career God had for me. I had a vision that He may have given me (one of my top gifts is administration), but I didn’t understand that the vision was not for me to be a secretary but to use my gift of administration with whatever He gave me to do.

Having vision is important. Without vision the people perish (Proverbs 29:18). So in order to have direction, not flounder and lead life to the fullest that God has for us, we must have a vision. But this vision must come from Him. As you know, God has given me a vision of who He would have recovering strong black women to be, but I recognize that having a vision is not enough. In order to get from re-imagined to reengineered, there needs to be a paradigm shift. So here is the paradigm for the framework “The Strong Black Woman: Re-imagined and Reengineered”:

Vision: You must be able to see where God wants you to be. What does this woman look like? What does this woman do? Who are her friends? What is her attitude? What are her goals? You must have an image in mind of God’s strong black woman (or God’s woman).

Understandings: This is where I provide the biblical basis for the vision. According to Scripture, why does God want you to look a certain way, do certain things, have certain friends, have a certain attitude, and set certain goals?

Practices: In this area I focus on how-to make the vision come to pass.
I hope you journey with me. And as always, I look forward to your feedback.

Strong Black Woman Reengineered

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For the last few years, our world has heard a lot about genetic engineering, taking genes from people to control what features a baby has, thus creating designer children. The above video talks about this, particularly having a third person’s genes added to the normal two person mix; the genes of this third person would help to create a baby that would be able to pass the third person’s genes down to the next generation. The narrator’s outcry is that this genetic engineering (or reengineering, as I see it) hardly made news, though this type of engineering has been going on for years.

I understand his outcry because genetic engineering has been going on for years in the Christian community and this hardly makes news. See, when that third person of the Holy Spirit comes to dwell inside a person, everyone should hear about this new life, this different life, for years after the change has come about. But for too many Christians we talk about the change for a brief season and then resume the behavior of our former, more familiar lives. Christians should make it consistently clear that we have been reengineered, not at the hands of man but by the hands of an all mighty God. We have the power to influence the next generation with our new lives. So shall it be for the reengineered strong black woman. This will be a woman who will unmistakably know that she has third party genes and will attribute all of her greatness to these genes. Her walk will be new, her talk will be new, she will look new, she will be new, and the next generation would want to be new because of her. Everyone will take notice of this good news, that her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ has enabled her to be a strong black woman reengineered.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Spiritual Good for Nothing

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I don’t have a problem with all of feminists’ work, because women need to be treated humanely. I don’t have a problem with the Afrocentrists’ fight, because race should be recognized not idealized. And I don’t have a problem with making money and reaching social status, because money and connections can help to establish God’s kingdom on earth. The problem I have is not with various causes that women who identify as strong black women engage in; I just have a problem when these causes seem to be more about humanity than divinity, more about what we can do and not what He can do, about the need to please man and not please God, to bring ourselves glory and not glory to Jesus Christ. This is what drives this blog and has been the basis for a book of the same subject matter that I have been tweaking for almost 10 years.

It’s taken about 10 years because when I started I was a young strong black woman who got a taste of recovery and wanted to wag her finger at everyone who hadn’t yet sought to be healed. Older now—and understanding that I have not arrived (thus still being in recovery), I am wiser now and know the road is slow and steady and takes a chisel to reshape the self-defined strong black woman. I heard a preacher yesterday challenge Christians to not “be a spiritual good for nothing.” He derived this phrase from what “bad” means in 2 Corinthians 5:10: “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things [done] in [his] body, according to that he hath done, whether [it be] good or bad.” This bad is not evil deeds for the Christian because our sin was judged when Jesus died on the cross for our sins. This bad for us is worthless acts, doing things humans deem good, but they have no spiritual value. In other words, you’re involved in causes that don’t bring God glory but bring man glory. You are being a spiritual good for nothing.

Before getting involved with anything, we must always ask ourselves, “What are my motives behind this mission?” Answering this question should help us steer away from our desires to please man and only seek to please God. For the first six months of this blog, I have cited several areas where I have gone wrong seeking to be the world’s standard of a strong black woman. These insights gave little if any solutions. For the next six months or so, I will attempt to reexamine these issues and give way to solutions. In the next two blogs or so I intend to give you direction for this new framework that I’m calling “The Strong Black Woman: Re-imagined and Reengineered.”

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith