Last week I was breathing easy. Even on Wednesday with a writing deadline and meal for 12 AND my family to fix, I didn’t stress but said, “God you knew I had all of this to do so I’m looking for your grace.” And with that, I got my family fed by 7 p.m., the crew of 12 by 8 p.m. (1/2 hour late, but it turns out they needed the extra time) and I finished my piece before midnight, at 10:30 p.m. to be exact. I kept stopping to take a self stress test, wondering why my insides didn’t match the chaos outside. This day was a manifestation of a painfully stressful journey that I had completed.
I had “lived with bated breath, sat rapt at attention, clinging to the last inhale, waiting for what’s to be. Anticipation has been my oxygen, it’s unreliable tank shooting spurts of air, giving me just enough to just be. This is a stilted life, never fully being and never fully feeling life….” If you haven’t already, I invite you to join me at the (in)courage blog to read the rest of my story of new found freedom of breathing easy.
I thank God for such a wonderful change in me and pray you lean on Jesus for whatever wonderful change you need to happen in you.
Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith
My One Thousand Gifts List
#161-170
A delicious meal
A quiet house
Clarity from God
Flynn buying me a watch
Justus’ cry
Sister Shirley buying me so many journals
Justus is a happy baby
Justus being a fun-loving baby
Nate giving me apple suga
Another day of structured learning for Nate
