Failed Fight?

The day didn’t go as I had hoped. As the mediator of a conflict, the two parties didn’t see eye to eye. At the end of the meeting one even said, “It’s not going to change.”

In another relationship I have, a woman has experienced more than her share of emotional highs and lows, always knowing when she’s doing wrong but not desiring to do right. “I don’t want to stop,” she said.

Another who sought my help to help her get disciplined rarely completed the assignments I gave her, often saying “I didn’t have time to do it.”

In each of these instances I was disappointed but I recognized that I wanted more for these three ladies than they wanted for themselves. With that I knew I couldn’t do any more directly unless they decided to want a change or the Holy Spirit unveiled their blinded eyes (2 Peter 1:9, John 12:40). Knowing that God can use me but the Holy Spirit is the arbiter of their souls brings me comfort, keeps me focused and prevents me from shunning the next person with a seemingly larger than life issue. When I have suffered long and given my best I leave the rest up to God.

How do you respond to people you’re trying to help whose actions say they don’t want your help? Do you suffer long or tend to toss them at their first sign of resignation? Please, tell me what you think.

Say Goodbye to the Strong Black Woman

You know how passionate I am about black Christian women receiving strength through the help of the Holy Ghost. That is the main focus of this blog and I make every effort here and offline seeking to make this a reality. Tonight will be another way to do this on Your Bedtime Blessing, a Blog Talk Radio show hosted by Dr. Michelle Johnson, founder of Alabaster Woman Ministries and my writing sister at EEW Magazine. Join us tonight at 9:30 p.m. as we discuss live “She’s Dead: Saying Goodbye to the Strong Black Woman.” You can call in to make a comment or ask a question at 347-857-3974. In the meantime, check out Dr. Michelle’s blog post and comment on her blog to help make our on-air experience more interactive. We look forward to hearing from you.

Breathe Again on the (in)courage blog

I praise God for the opportunity to spread His message to a wider audience on (in)courage: home for the hearts of women.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#151-160
Spending early time with God
Being able to skin the chicken before Justus called out to me
Giving the boys a bath
Taking a shower
Cooking most of dinner before noon
Spending three hours interacting with and teaching Nate before he watched TV
Tabitha for being selfless and supporting me so
A completed Black History Month report
Getting to watch a movie
A restful evening

Courageous: The Movie and Womanhood

What Do You Think? Wednesday

Next week I join a panel of married women to answer questions of women who’ve been through a six week marriage class. Some of their questions are typical of those struggling to overcome strong black womanhood, such as one wanting to know if she was wrong to disregard her husband’s budget commands or another asking how she can serve her husband with a good attitude when she’s upset with him. There are no easy answers for those entrenched in a marital power struggle. But the standard answer comes from 1 Peter 3:1-6, the crux of the verses revealing that our behavior, not our words, should be used to influence our husband to believe, and therefore do, the right thing. Our actions, not our nagging, will be our best advocate.

To be a biblical wife takes some resolve, and resolve is also what our husbands and the fathers in our lives need to be the men God has called them to be. This is the premise of Courageous, a new movie by Sherwood Pictures, the same company who brought you Fireproof, the movie that started a marriage revolution with its accompanying book The Love Dare. Like Fireproof challenged married couples, Courageous will challenge men to resolve to be the best fathers and husbands that they can be. Though the movie is geared toward men, Courageous will have collateral materials for men and women, including the book by Bible teacher Priscilla Shirer, The Resolution for Women. Shirer has even begun a seven-week countdown to the September release of the movie and her book with
The Resolution Revolution Project. She is challenging women to embrace the 13 resolutions for women included in her book through weekly discussions of them on her blog. Together the resolutions cover all aspects of our lives as women, like being a champion of biblical femininity, being defined by the word of God and being content. Check out the movie trailer and Shirer’s blog and let me know what you think. Courageous may be a movie you women can see with your spouses and let the movie do the talking for you.

Dark Girls

What Do You Think? Wednesday

Once this woman, over dinner, told me that she was glad her husband was light skinned because she didn’t want her children “to be as dark as me.” My heart sank, feeling compassion for her low self-worth in that area and anger that those thoughts were coming from a 30-something woman in the 21st century. By all accounts this successful professional in the medical field was a strong black woman, planning her career, making her own decisions and never holding her tongue, sometimes, like that evening, making comments revealing her insecurity. I wish we lived in a land where dark skin prejudice was not an issue, where skin lighteners, hair straighteners and plastic surgery only had their place because of need (or even convenience) that had nothing to do with trying to look white. But the hatred remains and is a reason this film can stake a claim in the movie market in 2011. This film comes 335 years after the official end of the legal enslavement of blacks in the United States and almost 500 years since the beginning of this demonic system that created divisions between light and dark-skinned blacks. Have you seen the preview of Dark Girls? If not, take a look and tell me what you think, particularly from a biblical point of view?

Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.