Category Archives: Recovery

Deceived from Desperation

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Young, vibrant and healthy, my life took a turn in an instant one night. I was 24 when I was defiled and diseased and suffered depression that most never suspected. Daily I put on my strong black woman face to face the days, but my heart was weak, gasping for new life. These are times of desperation when we take measures that mirror the same. And in the depth of my desperation I turned to a method that I had only read about and seen in movies. I heard that this African root doctor, a Muslim Imam from Senegal, had cured people from AIDS. I figured surely he could help me.

I went and received counsel and concoctions fit for a fantasy mystery novel. The root mixtures—distilled water and various tree bark from the Senegalese bush country, and macrobiotic diet didn’t cleanse my blood from disease, but this dark period did shine light on my poor spiritual and physical health. From witnessing some spiritually spooky practices and eating really good food, I learned I needed a savior and to change my eating habits for good. I may have been deceived about who could help me, but I understood clearly what I needed to do. Immediately organic and other health food store items became staples in my diet and a year and a half later I became saved. Even with the truth of the Gospel I still fumbled in the spirit and fed my flesh junk. And from time to time, I still do.

Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.—1 Corinthians 3:18

Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.—Ephesians 5:6

Sometimes I fumble in spirit and flesh because I have deceived myself. Other times men have deceived me. Either way the onus is on me not to be deceived. The same is true for you, and I want to help. In the next series of posts I will examine deception to build our spirits, minds and bodies. The plan is to continue to lay a foundation this week then set aside Mondays for a lesson to feed our spirits, Wednesdays for a thought to strengthen our minds and Fridays for food and other products to nourish our bodies. I look forward to you journeying with me from the harm of deception to the hope in truth.

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

The Healing Truth

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I’m not pretty.

This is the lie I believed growing up.

You may think it’s not much, that a lot of girls believed this, but I couldn’t see beyond the pimples and plump and stubby pigtails. I couldn’t see that complexions change and weight and hair can, too. One day when I was overwhelmingly blinded, I struggled through my faucet of tears and jerky heaves to tell my mother “I’m ugly.” She almost laughed, but pulled that in and me onto her lap, wiped my tears and cuddled me, and I suppose she told me how ridiculous what I said was. I don’t remember. I just remember that when she loved me I didn’t think of pimples and plump or pigtails; I thought about my mother’s love and that cradled me. Whether I was pretty or not or could change or not wasn’t the real issue (though most girls do want to be pretty). It was the ‘therefore’ that caused my fountain to flow.

  • I’m not pretty therefore boys won’t like me.
  • I’m not pretty therefore I won’t have as many friends as my sister.
  • I’m not pretty therefore people will tease me.

    • When we embrace a lie we live in the therefore, which often is the lie or a bigger lie than what we initially believe.

  • Gideon lived in the therefore. I’m too small. I’m too weak therefore I can’t defeat.
  • Naomi lived in the therefore. My family is deceased therefore I must cease.
  • Elijah lived in the therefore. I’m the only one therefore I can’t overcome.

    • And in each instance someone was there to give them another ‘therefore’ to push them on to defeat and to not cease and to overcome. We need those mamas and daughters and angels and God to minister to us to help us forsake our ‘therefores’ and live in the truthful ‘therefores.’

    I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14) therefore

      1. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).
      2. I can stand against the wiles of the enemy (Ephesians 6:10-18).
      3. I can redeem the time (Ephesians 5:15-16).
      4. I can mature to the full stature that Christ intends for me (Ephesians 4:13).
      5. I can walk in the Spirit so I won’t fulfill the lust of my flesh (Galatians 5:16).
      6. I can love my husband and my children (Titus 2:3-5).
      7. I can lay aside anxiety (Matthew 6:25-34; Philippians 4:6).
      8. I can witness to others (Acts 1:8).
      9. I can love my enemies (Matthew 5:44).
      10. I can forgive (Matthew 18:15-35).

    The time is now to forget our ‘therefores’ and believe God. Happy New Year as you seek to live in God’s ‘therefores’ and make 2011 a year of healing truth.

    Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

    The Feast

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    Our Ethiopian Feast-Before


    Our Ethiopian Feast-After

    We came together to feast, me and a former cop and soldier now mother and multiple business owner; an office manager and former divorced mother of three big boys, now a married mom of four; a former entrepreneur turned married homeschooling mom of six; a rapper who showcased skills on 106 and Park who now sparks the spiritual into the secular; and an engineer married to an engineer and mom of a boy and girl. We came together to feast, all ministry leaders and me the top ministry leader leading them into something different, something good, and they ate it up, this, my favorite, Ethiopian food that none had tried and one didn’t like after having the same four times before.

    Throwing Down

    We feasted on something different, food never touching their palates, food transforming their palates into something new. We, a table of used to be’s and wanna be’s now wanting to be whatever Jesus wants us to be and we are open. We are willing to consume the feast He has for us, no matter how different or how many times we did or didn’t like it, we will try, knowing it could even be yummy like our Ethiopian meal.

    Standing: Taivia; Nicole, Charyse and Chevelle; Seated: Helena & Me

    Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

    The Ugly Parent-The 17th Day of Christmas

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    On the 17th day of Christmas my true love gave to me a face to change my reality (Isaiah 52:14).

    Sometimes Sundays make me sad. When I should be continually rejoicing because I get to go to church, worship with the saints and potentially hear a great word (depending on how my 1 year old is acting) I get sad and sometimes feel I just want to stay home. I don’t want to get washed and dressed, get three children washed and dressed, prepare food and feed us, pack diaper bags with diapers, wipes, drinks and snacks, get bibles, coats, gloves and hats, drive to church, unpack the children, take off our coats, take the oldest two to their classes and wait with bated breath until I have to go to the Cry Room to listen to a word from the babies. And all of this, most times, without a made-up face. That’s right, no makeup to cover up eyes that earlier cut across rooms to remind the boys to hurry up and a mouth mentioning that we will be late. I think I would just be better, feel better, if I had a made-up face, but I go plain, often, because taking care of my boys doesn’t allow time for a made-up face.

    Just as there were many who were appalled at him—his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any man and his form marred beyond human likeness—(Isaiah 52:14).

    Then this comes to mind, a description of what the greatest parent ever, Jesus Christ, would endure: heavy hands from hollowed hearts, cruelty unimaginable that made Him unimaginable (Philippians 2:7-11). Jesus willingly received a face He didn’t want or choose but accepted so we could have a chance at life, a beauty beyond makeup basics with everlasting implications. His face was made up in a different way, beaten and bruised beyond recognition, suffering cruelty and being ugly for you and for me.

    For now on Sundays may make me sad but I hope more with the sullen reality of my selfish desire for a face that will never be life-changing.

    Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Your Lead-The 35th Day of Christmas

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    On the 35th day of Christmas my true love gave to me a prophet sent to guide me (Deuteronomy 18:15).

    “If it was a snake it would have bitten you,” the saying goes for people who overlook something that is right in their midst. I’m sure most of us who have children have said this or something like it when a child can’t find his shoes in the middle of a clean room or homework left on the table without any other papers. This is the great refrain of my Joshua’s life. After I find the elusive item I say, with my fingers spread on outstretched arms shaking in syllabic rhythm, “It’s right here!” These phrases aren’t just child refrains but a part of the adult song of life that could be titled “Seeking But You Already Have.”

    The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among your own brothers. You must listen to him (Deuteronomy 18:15).

    This is what Moses told the children of Israel regarding their coming Messiah. And God the Father did just that. He sent Jesus, who, like Moses, was 1) in peril as a baby; 2) whose life was preserved among Egyptians; 3) was an Israelite (Jew); 4) a leader of his people; and 5) a prophet among other similarities, but these are the ones that the Israelites in Jesus’ day witnessed. Also, like Moses, his own people rejected him.

    We know that God spake unto Moses: [as for] this [fellow], we know not from whence he is.—John 9:29

    At this the Jews began to grumble about him because he said, “I am the bread that came down from heaven.” They said, “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph, whose father and mother we know? How can he now say, ‘I came down from heaven’?”—John 6:41-42

    The Jews saw Jesus speak like no other prophet and they witnessed him healing, but when he told them that he was the one Moses spoke of, that he was that bread of life that would give them eternal life if they believed in him, they didn’t believe. We, Christians, do believe that God the Father sent Jesus as the bread of life, but when we don’t believe that our leader, our lord, is right in our midst, when we overlook him surrounding us, we are like disbelieving Jews. We are told that greater is God in us than the devil in the world, but we (strong black women) try to use our own strength. We are told that Jesus will never leave us or forget about us, but we leave and forget about him and seek to do things our own way. Like the Jews looked to Moses, we look to old methods that once helped and overlook our present help, our Jesus.

    I don’t know about you, but I don’t want God shouting “I’m right here!” when he sees me looking for a self-conceived fail-proof way. I’m aiming to quickly remember my leader, my lord, in my midst and follow him. Won’t you join me? And send me a comment about how if Jesus was a snake, he would have bitten you.

    Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith