Category Archives: Recovery

Lover of God-Hater of Men

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He was a lover of God and a hater of men, at least he claimed one and seemed to be the other, the guy on the Christian call-in radio show about would you as a Christian accept a free Koran.
“Hi, what’s your name and city?”
“Rhonda; Detroit.”
“Do you want to be on air with Paul?”
“Sure.”
“Wasalakasumko.”
“Pardon me?”
“Wasalekeselee. Oh, whatever.”
Silence. I couldn’t believe my ears. The guy sounded like he was trying to say “Alsalaam alakum,” the Muslim greeting “Peace be upon you,” but for whatever reason I am not sure. What I do know was that I was offended. Maybe the raspyness of my ancestral blue notes or the urban bite of my saying Detroit led him to believe that I was black (right) and led him to believe that I was a black Muslim (wrong). I’m not sure what was going on in his head, but I know what went on in mine.

Here was a Christian on a Christian radio show seemingly making fun of Muslims. And the nerve of him to stereotype, then act like he was trying to relate, then get the word wrong and then be rude. His attempt at “connecting” the Christian and the Muslim was ill conceived at best and planned to offend at worst. This supposed lover of God didn’t fear God because if he had he wouldn’t have chosen to belittle another of God’s creations and even use coarse jesting to do so. His behavior led me as a Christian who is black and a woman to sum up how a God fearing strong Christian woman should be, and that’s loving to everyone, not just other Christians.

I know what I’m saying isn’t groundbreaking, but love is the key that so many have lost so doors remain not just closed but locked. Sure, I could give you a list of do’s and don’ts; if you want that check out Galatians 5:19-25 and Ephesians 4:22-32. But you won’t be able to actually fear God until you hate what God hates and love what God loves, and you can only do that with a change of heart.

So to be God fearing you must 1) want the mind of Christ (Phil 2:4-5) and 2) ask God to search your heart for what’s evil in it so your mind and heart correlate and your actions will follow (Psalm 139:23-24; Matthew 12:34). In this way you will be on your way to parlaying the hostility of man and the wrath of God.

As always, I want to know your thoughts. Would you have been offended? Just tell me what you think.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

God Understands My Heart

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“God understands my heart” is a frequent response of Christians who have done something that would be displeasing to God: gambling so they can tithe; drinking to cope with problem kids; or having sex outside of marriage because they’re lonely. God understands my heart. And, yes, He does. He understands that we do what we don’t want to do (Romans 7:15), that we will fall if we don’t take heed to his word (1 Corinthians 10:12 & Galatians 6:1), that we need the Holy Spirit so we won’t fall prey to our own desires (Galatians 5:16). He understands our heart and does extend grace (Romans 5:20). This grace is for those who struggle with wrong and truly want to do right, and it is even for those who have no qualms about sinning (Matthew 5:45). But be warned: those who don’t fear God will not only cause people to shun Christianity but will also cause God’s wrath to fall upon them who disregard His standards in favor of their own. These are people who willfully sin because “God knows my heart.”

Yes, God knows our hearts and understands whether our actions proceed from a pure one or not: Jeremiah 17:9 says our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked, and then asks “Who can know it?” Verse 10 answers that God knows our hearts. Because God knows our hearts, Isaiah 5:20 warns, “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto [them that are] wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!” So while God extends grace to 1) those who know to do right and do; 2) those who know to do right and don’t; and 3) those who don’t know to do right and don’t, there will come a time when the grace runs out. “Be not deceived. God is not mocked. Whatsoever a man sows that will he also reap” (Galatians 6:9). God’s not just going to keep letting you willfully sin—disrespect Him, not fear Him. He extends grace because He wants to give you time to make a change (2 Peter 3:9).

I know I was heavy-handed on the scriptures this time, but I think a lot of times we make statements like “God understands my heart” and we don’t understand God’s word enough to really have a biblical basis for our comments. Sure, the God we may have created in our minds may understand our hearts the way we want him to, but not the God of the Bible. The God of the Bible is the God we must understand. This is the God we must follow. This is the God we must fear. All else is man-made conjuring and has no place in true Christianity.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Understand God Fearing

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“I am not a Christian but I am a follower of Jesus Christ.” “I don’t like organized religion, but I believe in Jesus Christ.” “I don’t go to church because Christians are hypocrites.” “I get more love from my friends in the world than the people in the church.” No doubt you have heard many of these statements; you may have said them yourself. Each of them makes an indictment against those who call themselves Christians. These folks are saying that the title Christian, the spiritual movement of Christianity and the people that call themselves Christians don’t represent a God that they would want to serve. If Christians and Christianity is all about what I see, then I don’t want no part of it, they say. I believe that people who are open to Jesus Christ and not His people or institution are that way because too many Christians don’t fear God.

Remember, to fear God means that you don’t seek to gratify yourself but you seek to please God on His terms. Too many of us satisfy ourselves and mar the title Christian and the Christianity movement where people can’t see lives radically different from non-Christians, especially those who don’t claim any religion at all. The book of Judges, particularly chapters 17 and 21, talks about the Israelites not having a king to rule them. During these times the king was theocratic, representing the rule of God, so when there was no king, there was no representation of God present so “(e)veryone did what was right in his own eyes” (Judges 17:6). This lack of God ruling in their lives caused them to worship idols, disrespect and abuse spouses, become proud, and do other things that you would only expect from those not believing in God. Our not fearing God is akin to not having a king; there is no rule of God represented in our hearts so we do whatever we want to do. Understand when you don’t fear God, others won’t fear God and have no reason to want to make Jesus Christ Savior and Lord of their lives. Why would they want to bother with what they see as a God whose followers are ungodly? They believe they have a better chance at goodness without a God, or at least the Christian one.

This, Christians, is one reason we must fear God. Our Christian testimony is at stake; souls are at stake and we can no longer be the blame for that. We must fear God and represent that Christ Jesus is worthy to be served even as one calling herself a Christian, even as one participating in Christianity and even as one attending a local church assembly. Christian must be synonymous to God fearing and only we can make that happen.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

God Fearing Vision

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You could have called me a maverick, cause that’s what I was, doing my own thing, saying my own things—whatever came to mind, and I dared anyone to challenge me. This is who I was. I would get drunk on the weekend but walk soberly into church on weekdays and Sundays, not missing a service or special event. Said, “God bless you” and “*%#$ you” during the same time in my life. I was a bag of “mixed nuts,” a term my husband uses for those who curse and bless, who straddle the fence that divides sanctification and self-gratification. I’m not talking about those who do these things and struggle with their patterns. I’m talking about people who are settled in their duality, think it’s ok, as long as they’re giving God His. But it’s not okay. These people are irreverent; they don’t fear God. I didn’t fear God and as I sought God more, I gradually realized that I needed to change.

God fearing, The Proactive Vision: showing respect for God; being concerned how your thoughts and actions may displease Him according to his standards, thus living circumspectly.

God fearing, The Reactive Vision: showing respect for God; being concerned how your thoughts and actions may displease Him according to his standards, thus examining yourself after acting and making adjustments where necessary.

So I believe God’s vision for someone who is God fearing is that she knows God’s expectations and seeks to please Him by proactively fulfilling His expectations and reactively fulfilling them by recognizing her mistakes, making apologies to God and others, and repenting. In short, a God fearing woman doesn’t seek to gratify herself but seeks to please God on His terms. Being God fearing is the basis for all the other characteristics for a strong woman. I would love to hear about how you have walked out your proactive and reactive visions. Give me a holla.

New Vision: The List

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Whatever your calling is in life, I believe God expects a Christian woman who is black to exhibit the following *characteristics:

1. God fearing
2. Holy
3. Non-slanderous
4. Sober
5. Teacher of good things
6. Pure
7. Level headed
8. Domesticated
9. Benevolent
10. Trustworthy
11. Hard worker
12. Nurturer
13. Time prudent
14. Generous
15. Resourceful
16. Helpful
17. Caring
18. Well-groomed
19. Astute with business
20. Wise
21. Kind
22. Good reputation
23. Strong
24. Disciplined
25. Unashamed of cultural heritage
26. Lover of her husband
27. Lover of her children
28. Submissive to her husband

You know I want to know what you think. Respond to this list or submit your own. There is a lot to discuss.
*Characteristics primarily based on Proverbs 31:10-31 and Titus 2:3-5

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith