Category Archives: Recovery

Practice Sobriety

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Wine has the power to make you talk rough and alcohol makes you walk tough, causing you to argue and fight people (Proverbs 20:1). Remember, I told you that in an earlier post. And this is the case whether you’re a Christian or not. Alcohol doesn’t discriminate. To curb illicit behavior, the world says to drink responsibly by not drinking and driving and limiting the number of drinks you have. But with Christianity, being responsible with alcohol means don’t get drunk or don’t drink at all because in either case you promote spiritual development. Practicing sobriety for some may not be easy, but it is necessary. Here are some points to help you:

1. Remember how consuming alcohol

    a. Affects you—In addition to talking rough and walking tough, drinking alcohol may destroy your Christian testimony (See ‘b’ below), cause emotional, relational and physical anxiety, cause memory lost, and cloud your judgment (Proverbs 23:29-35, 31:1-9).

    b. Affects others—If non-Christians and Christians who aren’t as mature in the faith see you drink, they may get the wrong impression about your walk with Christ and Christianity. One, non-Christians may think that Christians aren’t any different from non-Christians. Two, if you get drunk, non-Christians may think that drunkenness is an acceptable part of Christianity. Three, non- and immature Christians are likely to dismiss anything you try to teach them about Christianity; you’re no longer credible in their eyes. Four, immature Christians may think your drinking gives them license to drink and they are unaware of the parameters, like not getting drunk and not drinking at all so they won’t cause a person younger in the faith to stumble.

    c. Affects God—God showed great wrath to the Israelites for getting drunk (Isaiah 5:11-16, 22-25, 28:7). Scripture doesn’t detail for us consequences of our alcohol abuse, but we are told the general consequences from God—that He will destroy our bodies (2 Corinthians 3:16-17).

2. Pray

    a. For God to help you remember items in #1.

    b. For strength to abstain.

    c. To want what God wants for your life more than what you want for your life (Matthew 26:42).

If you keep in mind the consequences of consuming alcohol and pray that God’s will be done in your life, expect a great outcome. “And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. And if we know that he hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of him” (1 John 5:14-15).

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Understanding Sobriety

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The world tells us to drink responsibly: Don’t drink and drive and don’t let anyone younger than 21 purchase or consume alcohol. But for the Christian, handling alcohol properly goes beyond drinking and driving and being a certain age. We have to consider the spiritual implications for ourselves and others:

1) Being sober enables us to do what God wants. “And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit” (Ephesians 5:18). When you’re drunk with wine or any intoxicating drink, you’re under its power. Christians should always be under the power of the Holy Spirit so we can a) clearly hear from God; b) understand proper actions; and 3) have the strength to do what we have heard and know to be right. If you don’t do what’s right, you bring judgment upon yourself (1 Corinthians 3:16-17). And what good is being a Christian if you aren’t able to follow God’s commandments?

2) Not drinking helps others to do what God commands. “It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble” (Romans 14:21). Though we have freedom as Christians to consume fermented drinks, we are told that everything we do is not helpful (1 Corinthians 6:12). So if drinking in front of others causes them to disrespect you, misunderstand Christianity or drink more than they should, you should not drink. And if you do drink, you’ll have to be so much on the down low that they won’t find out because whether you drink in their presence is really not the issue. It’s just knowing that you drink that may cause them to make improper judgments. For me, being a down low drinker is not worth the hassle. I’ve just given up drinking altogether.

So can a Christian drink alcohol? Yes. Should a Christian drink alcohol? No, if 1) you will get drunk; 2) you want or need alcohol to control you; or 3) doing so causes others to make improper judgments about you, Christianity and how they can relate to alcohol. Truly, we are our brothers’ and sisters’ keeper, not just for physical safety but also for spiritual guidance, understanding and protection. This is a big job, but we are called and equipped to do it.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Sober Vision

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To drink or not to drink, that is the question so many Christians have. As a recovering strong black woman who likes to make her own decisions, I wrestled with this question for awhile. People I know would invite me to mix and mingles and without exception these events would have beer, wine and alcohol. Or maybe I would attend a wedding reception, and they would have an open bar and a champagne toast. Should I participate? And if I could, what could I drink and how much could I drink? Outside of mix and mingles and wedding receptions, where should I drink, around whom could I drink, what would people think about me if I drank, and should I care what people thought about me if I drank? Maybe you, too, want to know as a Christian whether or not you should drink and what may be the stipulations of doing so. I believe after reading this series of posts on being sober, you will have an educated biblical response regarding whether or not Christians should drink beer, wine or alcohol.

Scripture gives us the positive and negative side of drinking:
Positive sense—Paul tells Timothy to use wine medicinally (1 Tim. 5:23). We also see that people drank wine at a wedding. So they drank at a time of merriment, to celebrate (John 2:1-10).
Negative sense—Wine has the power to make you talk rough and alcohol makes you walk tough, causing you to argue and fight people. They both cause you to be under their power (Proverbs 20:1). Titus 2:3 puts it this way: The biblical woman “is not given to much wine” which means that she doesn’t allow the drink to control her.

So God’s vision of a biblical woman is for fermented drinks not to control her with their intoxicating effect. Even if you don’t get sloppy drunk, where you’re stumbling and cussing out and fighting people, fermented drinks control you if 1) you have to drink to have a good time; 2) you have to have a drink to become calm; or 3) you can’t stop drinking until you get drunk. All of these instances make you a slave to the bottle, and you are out of control.

Am I saying you can’t get your drink on? Maybe. It depends on you assessing yourself according to who God wants you to be as I laid out here and as I will further do next time. Until then, I welcome your stories of struggle and success with beer, wine and alcohol.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Three Tips for Avoiding Slander

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Avoid evil for evil (Romans 12:17)—Human nature’s typical response to someone doing something evil to you is 1) disbelief; 2) to wonder why she did it; 3) to figure out how to get her back; and 4) to get her back. This pattern always leads to slander. Wondering why often has you creating scenarios regarding your culprit’s thoughts and the motives in her heart. This will not change the slander nor make your culprit remorseful. Neither will trying to figure out how to get her back and getting her back remove the wrong done to you and change your perpetrator’s heart. Instead of traveling the slanderous road, bless the one who did evil to you (Romans 12:14). You can do this by 1) praying that God changes her heart and 2) doing something more practical for her like providing for a basic need or sending her a note of forgiveness or encouragement (Proverbs 25:21-22).

Focus on being a friend—Sometimes your friends are the ones who do you wrong. With them too avoid evil for evil and concentrate on being a friend by 1) loving at all times (Proverbs 17:17); 2) providing earnest counsel (Proverbs 27:9 and Ephesians 4:15); and 3) encouraging and challenging her (Proverbs 27:17 and Romans 14:19). Loving at all times includes even when your friend shows you no love. Love should always be unconditional because this is how Jesus Christ loves us. If you concentrate on being a friend, you don’t have time, energy or inclination to travel the slanderous road.

Remember your job as an ambassador of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:20)—Whatever you do is a reflection of our Christianity. If you wrong people because they wrong you, people will believe the God you claim to love does the same. You’ve heard, “If that’s the way Christians act, then I don’t want to be a Christian” or something similar. As an ambassador of Jesus Christ, you have to represent Him by doing what He would do, loving the way He loved. This is the way you draw people to Jesus Christ. This is the Christian’s main mission (Matthew 28:18-20).

Remember, God says that He will provide vengeance to those who have done evil (Romans 12:19 and 2 Thessalonians 1:6). We must trust God at his Word, all of it. If He says to avoid evil for evil , be a friend, and remember our job as ambassadors of Christ, this is what we must do. This is faith and is what pleases God (Hebrews 11:6). We must think about what our actions will accomplish and then choose the actions that will reflect the character of Christ. Easy? No. Required? Yes. And being nonslanderous is possible through prayer and following the example of Christ (Psalm 119:133 and 1 Peter 2:21).

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Rid Your Slanderous Talk, Part 2

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Life can be quite overwhelming for all of us. Family issues, financial crises, unending wars and everyday routines can make any one of us want to give up on any given day. And don’t be a black woman. Like any other “double minority,” there is another set of complexities that comes with our lives. But whether you’re black or white, male or female, economically and socially privileged or deprived, as a Christian you are required to rid yourself of slanderous talk. This is not easy, so here are a few more tips:

Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)—We are told to tell the truth, but we must remember to be mindful of how we tell the truth. We can’t simply say that we had to tell the person the truth; we have to ask ourselves our motive behind why we are going to say what we intend to say. We not only have to make sure our motives are right, we have to check our tone of voice, the timing of what we say and the place we choose to say it. Our heart could be right, but our voice could betray us. Speaking to someone when they’ve just had a traumatic experience may not be the right time to tell someone that they’re shiftless. And doing so in front of friends may leave them embarrassed and hopeless. Speaking the truth in love is summarized with Ephesians 4:29:

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” This verse tells us to speak what is good so that we edify and minister grace to others. Good has several meanings but the one that I believe applies to this verse is “useful.” Our language should be useful so we build up (edify) others, particularly promoting “another’s growth in Christian wisdom, piety, happiness, holiness” (Blue Letter Bible Concordance). And we should deliver this useful message with grace, which is “good will, loving-kindness.” Anything short of Ephesians 4:29 is slander.

So whether we like it or not, want to use it or not, Ephesians 4:29 applies when you’re happy and when you’re sad. It holds true when you’re healthy and when you’re ill. Ephesians 4:29 must be in the forefront when you don’t like your husband and when your kids get on your last nerve. When someone is rude or mean to you, tries to discourage or hate on you, you must invoke Ephesians 4:29. If you’re angry or bitter, let Ephesians 4:29 help heal your soul and perhaps the soul of the person who has offended you. Even if the other person is not healed, know that God sees you and is pleased. Let’s strive to make pleasing God our only motivation to speak what is good.

Copyright 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith