I’m not a socialist or feminist and never thought of myself as either of these. Never found myself on a blacklist, the FBIs Most Wanted List or serving or working in a prison, though I never know what may be in store for me. I don’t advocate lesbianism or atheism, but Angela Y. Davis has been associated with all these, and she is my shero.
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A little more than a year ago my 7-year-old son, Joshua, had an identity crisis. He said the pretty ladies were white and he wanted to be white. Oh, you know my heart sunk. My son didn’t think his momma was pretty. He despised how his grandmothers, aunts and friends look. Blinking to hold back tears, catch my breath and move the lump from my throat, I asked him did he know what he was saying meant. I asked him did he know that he was saying that he didn’t think his momma was pretty. He thought for a second and then said, “Yes. The pretty ladies are white. You don’t have clothes like the ladies at the casino.”
Joshua, 7 years old
I couldn’t hear what Joshua was trying to say. I saw little children picking the white baby doll over the black baby doll. I thought, “How could this happen? He has an Afrocentric mother, parents who love him and affirm his blackness. He’s around positive and progressive black people. He owns and reads books with black images. And he doesn’t watch that much TV. How could a baby like mine say he wanted to be white?” And I felt like a failure. I hadn’t instilled cultural pride into my child and now he was telling me so. After the nanosecond of these thoughts flooding my mind I thought to ask him WHY he wanted to be white. He reasoned: “All the white people wear nice clothes. The black children on TV don’t have food and clothes and hell is dark. I want us to be white.”
With his one hour of television a week, which included pleas to help poor children in Africa, casino billboards with fancy dressed white people, and lessons on salvation, Joshua had ascertained that all things white must be good and all things black must be bad, and he didn’t want any of us to have any part of anything bad. And though what he was saying revealed a bad situation, I was relieved. At 6, my son was a critical thinker and he wanted what he perceived to be the best for him and his family. Now the task was to teach him about propaganda meant to entice and make him feel less than others.
I thought I would deluge him with the history of black oppression at the hands of whites, saturate my home with more Afrocentric images, become involved in former activities where he would see me dressed in formal clothes and be around those I knew who flaunted their money and status. But as a strong black woman in recovery who is healing from racial and social pride, I knew these were bad ideas. They would perpetuate in Joshua what I was trying to get rid of in me. So I did what I should have done in the first place: pray.
In the middle of the night, Proverbs 6:25 came to my mind and I knew God was giving me the answer to help my son and others who may be competitive to the point of being covetous. “Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.” This ‘her’ was the ‘strange woman’ in verse 24 and though the strange woman here is interpreted whore, the Hebrew word also means “foreign; someone not like you.” And the word lust is the same Hebrew word for covet. Joshua loves the Bible and constantly looks for applications in his life. I knew we needed to revisit The 10 Commandments, specifically “Thou shalt not covet” because God was saying at the root of Joshua’s identity crisis was an issue with covetousness. Joshua was coveting his neighbor’s skin color and possessions, and I was convinced that Joshua would get this. He did.
On his own, Joshua said, “I’m telling God, ‘I know you gave me this skin color, but I don’t want it. I want white skin.” Then he looked embarrassed and curious, like he had just been scolded and knew what the consequences would be if he didn’t stop coveting. Joshua learned the lesson immediately and there has been no more talk about wanting to be white. This lesson, along with teaching that God created ‘all nations of men,’ has helped Joshua understand that his being black was no accident but an intentional incident, and because of that he has no reason to covet. Joshua is my hero because he took the word of God and immediately applied it to his life. Also, Joshua now is quite proud to be black, constantly expressing awe and joy when discovering blacks’ accomplishments. I’m just working on his ability to love all the nations of people God has created and not seek to return hate for hate. As we reflect on the state of black people during this Black History Month, I think Joshua’s lessons are good for us all.
Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith
I wanted to write about the bishop who became the first in her denomination and the writer who is an Old Testament scholar and the one who started a black community in her denomination, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t because the honor would seem like acceptance of twisted ideas. I couldn’t accept the supporting of heretical texts to “prove” scripture or the normalcy of homosexuality because of her lesbian friendship or the dabbling in a spiritual séance. To write about these Christian women would be to affirm their notions, to say the way they purport Christianity is ok. And that I cannot do.
But I will write about the journalist who spoke out against lynching and the grassroots woman who founded a democratic party and others, who, as far as I know, didn’t dilute Christianity for personal comforts. And I don’t mind writing about the likes of James Baldwin and Angela Davis because their being Christian is not the basis for lauding their righteous ideas. When you say who you are I respect that and expect your work to reflect that. These are the people I can write about and that I will do.
The realization of not being able to write about those I admire in many ways took me aback. I tried to figure out how I could incorporate disclaimers but the disclaimers would either outweigh or effectively cancel the celebration. Has something like this ever happened to you? Have you ever had to cease supporting someone you once supported because you realized that your beliefs were in conflict? I would love to hear about it. And I pray God’s power and protection for those who have given up support in order to honor Jesus Christ and His Kingdom.
Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith
Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
As Christians, serving should be a regular part of our lives. We serve the greatest man to have ever walked this earth, and He is the King we honor above all: Jesus Christ. Our King told us to love God and to love our neighbor as ourselves. These commandments should be the driving force of our lives and make it our obligation to serve others just as Dr. King and our King gave their lives to do. Give yourself and make life better for us all. Serve always for Christ and His Kingdom.
Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith
Happy New Year!
This is the start of a new decade and, for many, the start of a new day for a new life. Some of us have been knocked down. Others of us have been knocked out. Some have been mishandled and misplaced, but we find ourselves here on this day, and I thank the Lord! Times may have been tough, but God got us through.
On this, the seventh and final day of Kwanzaa, focusing on Imani (faith), let us place faith in God and not in our black selves to be better and to live better lives. As we prepare blackeye peas and promises to do better, let us remember that God has laid the foundation for us to do well. It’s not the luck of a pea or the faith in self that has kept or will ever keep us. God has kept us, and He is the one who tells us who we are and what we should think about ourselves:
We are beautiful because God says we’re beautiful (Psalm 139:14).
Our blackness is relevant because God says it’s relevant (Acts 17:26).
We can be used to do anything because God uses us too (Acts 2:10, 8:27).
As we encounter trials this year, including white racism, let us have faith in God because He has given us the proper perspective to deal with racists and any other haters. We can be proud of who we are and have faith in where we can go because of the faithful one, our Lord Jesus Christ, who gives meaning and purpose to our lives. We can make 2010 a good one because of Him.
Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith