Category Archives: MUSINGS

Seek Connection

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

Actually, you got What Do You Think? Wednesday on Monday. Today I bring you a typical Monday message:

When loss comes you realize what type of relationships you have. We see this when our loved ones die, when we lose a job or some other prestigious position, even when we lose our mind. We find out who is in our corner, who wants to be but who just doesn’t know how and about those who were just along for the good ride. With my own recent loss—that of my beloved constant connection to the world for about a week—I found out about some people in my life, especially me and my relationship to the Lord Jesus Christ.

Of course the loss of the Internet, home phone and cell phone use don’t compare to the above losses, but they definitely showed me:

1) That, indeed, I have great people in my life. After using the library’s Internet connection to post on Facebook my technology woes, my friend Adrienne called me from Arkansas and through the crackling line shouted her concern that nothing nefarious had caused the disruption. Another sister, Kamil, heard me through the statically line say I couldn’t even call her back on my cell phone; she had just upgraded her cell phone and offered to loan me her old one that I could use with my own phone number.

2) Life without ready technology causes you to be still and resourceful. Eventually after the home phone line went dead, I didn’t bother to even answer the phone. At first I ran to get it in hopes that the line was restored. I accepted that checking the line AFTER a phone technician had come to check the wiring would be best. Also, before I got Kamil’s phone, I decided that charging my cell phone every 20 minutes was something that I was no longer willing to do. As for being resourceful, I used the public library, help lines and my own experience with technology to reconnect to the outside world.

3) I don’t work hard enough to connect to God when our regular connection has been altered. With each child came a change in my quiet time and I had to find a new norm. I have accepted that my time may not be a dedicated, uninterrupted period in the morning with Bible readings and talks to Him throughout the day. Now, depending on the children’s needs, I may get that dedicated time, but more than likely my studying, reading and conversations can only be in spurts. Even though my consistent morning quiet time no longer works, I find myself spending too much time hoping the old way returns instead of pressing hard to connect with God in resourceful ways throughout the day.
I was a hardworking sister, trying to get connected to the outside world and that tired me out. I know my energies will be better spent seeking to connect to God with last week’s abandon. He promises that His burden is easy and His yoke is light. Now that’s the kind of weight and hook up we all need.

What have you learned from unexpected changes in your life?

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

Friday Feature: Baking Soda

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Buy one, get one free. Get two for one. Fifty percent off sale. However it’s termed, I think we all like a deal where we get more when we only spend for one. What bothers me, though, is when I can’t use the second item or don’t want it. I usually have that problem with clothes at a discount store where the inventory is already limited. I have a hard time finding another item to complete my deal. I’m so glad this is not the case with several natural, non-toxic household products I use. I get more than a ‘two for one’ with most of them, and for a recovering strong black woman trying not to have a specific something for everything, that’s definitely a break that I more than welcome.

Baking soda
The advertisement on the box doesn’t exaggerate. There is a bunch of ways to use baking soda. Of course I use baking soda to clean my teeth if I run out of toothpaste and have used some with water the rare times I get heartburn, but following are the ways I use baking soda on a regular basis:

  • Cleaning fresh fruit and vegetables.

    • I wet fruit then rub a little baking soda on each piece. For soft produce and items that have a lot of ground in dirt, like beets, I soak them in a half sink-full of cold water with about a tablespoon of baking soda for about ½ hour. This is my preferred way to clean my mustard, turnip and collard greens. I rinse with cool water after rubbing and soaking.

  • Cleaning sinks and tubs.

    • After the boxes I use to deodorize the refrigerator and freezer need to be changed, I use these old boxes as cleansers for my bathroom and kitchen. This is the ultimate two for one!

  • Tenderizing greens.

    • Sometimes I just can’t find the small (young) collard green leaves, only the large ones, which are almost always tough. If cooking them a little longer than usual doesn’t work or I don’t have time to cook them for extra time, I put a pinch or two of baking soda in the pot toward the end of the cooking cycle. They easily go from tough to tender in a matter of minutes. I also use this method with other tough greens.

  • Cleaning my locks.

    • When I wore my hair straight and had product build up on my strands and my regular shampoo wouldn’t work, I would just switch to a different shampoo. That doesn’t always work with my dreadlocks. A natural hair care specialist gave me the tip of cleaning my locks with baking soda and this has worked well for me: I pour the desired amount of baking soda in a dish with enough water to make a paste. I then take the paste and rub it vigorously on a group of locks, particularly the ones where I can clearly see product and dirt build up. I rinse with warm water and my hair is literally squeaky clean. The baking soda can be drying so I make sure to follow up with a hot oil treatment.

    I hope these tips are as helpful for you as they are for me. Besides for baking, what are some ways that you use baking soda?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Gaining from Gloating

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    What Do You Think? Wednesday

    Sometimes you just don’t hit it off with people. No matter how you engage them in conversation, do a good deed, smile and give a hug, some folks just won’t be your best buds. I knew this when I met one of my husband’s relatives about 10 years ago. The whole night she talked about how the Lord had blessed her with a new home and a new car. She showed off her jewelry and talked about other material ambitions. I’m sure I twisted my face and rolled my eyes a few times before leaving the room. I couldn’t stand being in her presence. When I think back to it I probably didn’t like her because the pride I saw in her was what I hated seeing in myself. I couldn’t express that then, only “I don’t care if I ever see her again, Flynn.” But I did, on Monday, and briefly thought about not acknowledging her because she hadn’t noticed me. I decided against that. After reminding her who I was and getting her name again, she commented on my children and quickly said, “I’m so glad my kids are beyond that stage.” And I mustered a smile and shook my head knowingly; she continued texting, and that was the end of our conversation.

    Just the other day at the library some stranger hurried my sons on the elevator and said to me, “I’m so glad my children are grown. I had boys and they were busy.” I simply smiled. What do you say to people who don’t think before they speak, who assault you with their thoughts, who gloat about their gratitude, which serves to shame you? Ten years ago, I would have twisted my face and rolled my eyes and served up some shame of my own. But I have learned to smile and nod and not be tangled on the inside. “It is God that girdeth me with strength, and maketh my way perfect.” Because God has me in the season of small ones and different opportunities, I can gently ignore others who may have despised their season. My best friend Renee’s favorite verse is “The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places; Indeed, my heritage is beautiful to me” (Psalm 16:6). And I have claimed its message strong in this season of small ones and different opportunities, knowing they all come from Him. I may not hit it off with everyone I meet, but those encounters will always show me how much I have grown (or need to grow), and that is a good thing.

    What encounters have you had that showed you how much you have grown or need to grow?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Gain Perspective

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    Today I anxiously went to get the mail. I was looking for my author copies of Daily Guideposts Your First Year of Motherhood and they were there! As I’ve told you I’m excited about this project. Though I’ve written for years and have been featured in a number of publications, this is the first time my work has appeared in a mainstream book. And the book’s arrival today was perfect, after dealing with loss all around me. This morning I attended my second funeral in a week; I ministered to a woman yesterday who’s still broken after her mother abandoned her 18 years ago; and for the last few days I have been having a major discussion on Facebook about mothers who abandon their children, sparked by an article of a woman who did so to pursue her own dreams. This book, which speaks about pressing forward in the challenging face of new motherhood, reminded me that we can do anything God has commissioned us to do with some help and a Godly perspective.

    In addition to the devotionals, Motherhood, has a subject index, to help you easily find topics you’re looking for, and a special concerns section, which includes hard stuff like post-partum depression, dealing with loneliness and keeping your marriage healthy. My own devotionals center on a change in my outlook. I tell you why a crying baby is a good thing; how to get a vacation while in the midst of mothering; how two women criticizing my mothering helped me; and why I had to fire a good babysitter. Remembering the stories I wrote and anticipating reading those of my colleagues helped me focus on what I have: a great opportunity to grow and nurture even with loss, that around me and even personally; not being able to go when I want, where I want and doing all I want are temporary, losses so worthwhile because of what I gain from pouring into my boys.

    So join the discussion on Facebook and make sure you buy Motherhood. Just click the link here on the site. You don’t have to be in your first year of motherhood to get it. Buy it for a new mom you know; buy it to revisit how you may want to mother your other children; buy it to give some fresh perspective to a young mom you know. I believe you will be pleased.

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith