Category Archives: MUSINGS

Get Some Help

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Some places I just don’t go emotionally. For me they are like taking back alley bike rides: They seem convenient but the potential problems keep me from going there. When I was a bundle of nerves and confusion the other week, I knew I needed to rethink my emotional bike ride theory and figure out how to seek and receive a safe path, whether convenient or not. My problem was I just didn’t know HOW to do that. I don’t have a problem being honest with my feelings, but usually when I am most folks don’t know what to do with what I share. As my friend Carla said, even though I am a recovering strong black woman, people see me as having it all together and don’t usually ask if I need any help; they assume I have it all together. So between folks not knowing how to advise me or assuming I don’t need advice and me not knowing how to get help, I don’t get or expect much help. This doesn’t mean I don’t need or want help; I do. After talking with Carla, I understood what recovering strong black women and their friends can do to get them the help they need:

Strong Black Women

  • Confess what you’re going through.

    • Even though you may not have gotten help in the past, you don’t know what your confession may yield you. When I told Carla how I felt, she didn’t have anything to offer me in that moment but later she apologized for not asking me if I were okay. She then gave me permission to interrupt her talking about her so we can talk about me.

  • Talk it out.

    • If you are like me you may know that you need help but just not sure what you need. If you talk it out, you may discover what you need to ask for.

  • Ask your friends to let you talk.

    • People who have strong black women as friends take for granted that these friends are supposed to hear all their problems. This is the typical nature of the friendship so you have to speak up for yourself.

  • Know that your friends want to help you.

    • They usually are so grateful for all you’ve done for them that they are willing to help you or work hard to get you the help you need.

    Friends

  • Ask.

    • Make sure to ask your strong black women friends what they are going through. Don’t assume they have it all together.

  • Listen to them.

    • After you ask your friends what’s going on, LISTEN to them. We’ve all had people ask us how we are doing and when we’re honest they don’t even acknowledge what we’ve said but go on to the next subject. Don’t do that. Even if you don’t have advice to offer, at least pray for them in that moment.

  • Seek God.

    • Let Him show you HOW to help your strong black women friends. Even though they may be the ones who usually dispense the advice, God can use you to help them too.

    God means for our relationships to be reciprocal for healing to take place. Let’s do our parts so we can be healed (James 5:16).

    How have you been guilty of not seeking or offering help?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Friday Feature: Roundup One

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    God has placed some awesome natural healing practitioners in my path. Starting today, I plan to roundup some of their articles for a fourth Friday Feature. With my lay experience and their expertise there will be a wealth of information to help us strong black women be strong in body the way God intends for us to be (1 Corinthians 6:19-20.)

    • Dr. Colbert tells us about The Most Important Nutrient in the Body.
    • Dr. Cherry speaks about necessary enzymes in God’s Pathway to Healing for Digestion.
    • Mike Adams, the Health Ranger and editor of NaturalNews.com, says Dangerous Chemicals in Personal Care Products Compromise Health

    • What do you think you might do as a result of reading these articles?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Living in and Loving the World

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    What Do You Think? Wednesdays

    Be in the world but not of the world, we Christians are told, but to tell you the truth, I don’t always know what that looks like. I struggle with Paul’s statement that he became all things to all people to win some to Christ. What does that really mean? How did he do that? Even as I try to navigate the world system and not look like the world system, to win nonbelievers to Jesus Christ, I find myself waiting to hear step by step instructions from God. That’s the only way I’ve been able to attend secular gatherings and let my light shine, to speak of the Divine without compromise or condemnation. I believe the book One Thousand Gifts, by far my most favorite recent read, does just that. The book by Ann Voskamp is honest about her Christian struggles, questioning God’s goodness but eventually accepting all as grace from God. One Thousand Gifts goes into the world (including being on the New York Times Bestseller List), putting forth raw emotions and poetic language that many—Christians and non-Christians—can relate to, but it never embraces the world’s conclusions of creating a comfortable God who is easy to consume. Voskamp’s work is definitely a great example of being in the world and not of the world, maybe even becoming all things to all people to win some to Christ.

    How have you come to understand Paul’s declaration in 1 Corinthians 9:2? What are some ways that your life demonstrates being in the world, not of the world, and winning folks to Christ?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    God is Faithful

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    Standing in awe of God is something I did quite a bit last week when money, strength and words showed up just when I needed them. There was the call from one of my daughters in Christ whose childrearing issue stumped me. Hoping she would just vent and be content with me praying, she stated what I feared: “I don’t know if you have anything to offer me . . .,” she said as I shook my head no, knowing I needed to say something. I opened my mouth to offer an empty platitude until something sensible came through. Instead what came out was what I hadn’t conceived and this happened about five times. Continue reading →

    Friday Feature: Food Grade Hydrogen Peroxide

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    When cleaning my bathroom with bleach made me weak, gave me a headache and irritated my nose, I had to give it up. I know; nothing works quite like bleach. Put some in a load of whites, scrub a sink and a tub, and disinfect the garbage disposal and you will get clean and sanitized, but, like me you might get some other things you hadn’t counted on, like toxic fumes, burnt skin, eye irritation, or coughing and wheezing.
    Instead of getting sick, I began to whiten my clothes with oxygenated products. There are a host of these available for all types of cleaning uses. You can do a web search or check a natural health store for brand name products. But my daily go to cleaning product is food grade hydrogen peroxide.

    Hydrogen peroxide is made of hydrogen and oxygen, an oxidizing agent (one that transports oxygen), helping clean the body internally and externally and whatever our body encounters. It helps our bodies fight infections and keeps our immune system boosted. This substance kills bacteria, fungi and viruses. What a great all-purpose cleanser!

    Though food grade hydrogen peroxide is non-toxic and is a powerful cleanser, disinfectant, food decontaminant and odor remover, like bleach it can burn your skin, even when mixed with the proper amount of distilled water, as it should be used. But I’d rather risk having small-scale, momentary burns for superior and non-toxic results than a product that makes me sick and may cause long-term damage.

    Food treatment
    I like to clean my fruit and vegetables in bulk. Like I do when cleaning with baking soda, I put my produce in my sink that’s filled half-way with water and add one tablespoon of food grade hydrogen peroxide. Like baking soda it removes dirt but it also sterilizes produce. Hydrogen peroxide zaps whatever pesticides and bacteria were there. Let the produce soak for about 15 minutes then rinse produce with cool water. I also have a one-quart spray bottle of distilled water mixed with at least an ounce of hydrogen peroxide. When I run out of my choice vegetable and fruit wash and I haven’t cleaned my produce in bulk, I use this to spray individual pieces of fruit and rinse after 2-5 minutes. I also have sprayed my meats to decontaminate them.

    Surface treatment
    Bathrooms and kitchens are the most used rooms in my house and, like yours, accumulate a lot of bacteria. I disinfect my toilets, countertops and sinks, especially after working with meats. Just like the everyday hydrogen peroxide you use on cuts, this food grade version turns surfaces white on contact with a contaminated source, making me confident that the product is working. I use this to freshen up my carpet, too. Just spray the stale area.

    Body treatment
    Add 20 drops to four ounces of water and you have a natural mouthwash. I also use this to clean a fallen toothbrush or one that I don’t get to change when I should.

    There is a host of other ways to use this product, but, as always, I share only what has worked for me.

    What ways do you (if you) use food grade hydrogen peroxide or another natural product you find equally useful?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith