Warrior Wounds

When we hurt, from the hands of others who selfishly or thoughtlessly harm us, we can be doubled over in pain. Wounds so deep they have us bent and twisted, walking wayward toward unweeded paths that choke our very lives. We may seem erect, head held high, but our souls suffocate, unoxygenated, weak, running on emotional empty. We have been complicit with our culprits. They hurled the hurt and we caught and carried it, nursing our wounds with pride, pointing fingers at our offenders and saying how much better we are than they. We clean our cuts with cursing the air and them, choosing not to say anything but instead waiting for them to come talk to us.

We can bandage our bruises with bitterness and wrap our hearts with hopelessness, and our self-concocted antiseptics are really creating septic souls, too diseased for anything healthy to grow. But we have a choice to negatively nurse or nutritionally nurse our wounds. We can choose to start with prayer.

Nothing brings such leanness into a man’s soul as a lack of prayer.—Charles Spurgeon

Prayer is not designed to inform God, but to give man a sight of his misery; to humble his heart, to excite his desire, to inflame his, faith, to animate his hope, to raise his soul from earth to heaven.—Adam Clarke

Trouble and perplexity drive me to prayer and prayer drives away perplexity and trouble.—Philipp Melanchthon

And prayer begins with praise. Here, in the praise, is where God meets us (Isaiah 61:3). On Wednesday and Thursday, when I sought him to help my hurting and angry soul, the praise produced this: “You are in the presence of greatness,” as I saw my offenders’ faces in my head; and “You value people,” the word a daughter of mine told me when expressing her amazement at my ability to spend time with others and not neglect my family. I told her this was God’s grace and God reminded me that I can deal with my offenders by His grace.

His grace enables me to see greatness and not the grief they caused me. They are fearfully and wonderfully made, complex creatures made in His image but subject to human frailties. And when they fail me and I want to tell them how they failed me I must remember that I “value people,” and treat them with the respect worthy of a person of greatness. When I devalue them, I devalue God and have suffocated my soul. God’s grace nutritionally nurses our wounds and helps us speak the nourishing truth.

I praise God for a healed soul, for helping me think of my offenders with love, not anguish and languishing, and for helping creating in me warrior wounds, spiritually fought battle scars that remind me to seek God and apply only what He says. Jesus is the balm we need.

Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

My One Thousand Gifts List

#51-60
The Bloom Book Club
My many journals
Justus staying the night in the crib
A good night’s rest
Time wht Flynn away from the house and children
Bobbi for babysitting
Winston for shoveling the snow
Fellowshipping with Darryl and Marcy
Accepting I have to develop a new friendship
Family devotion

Friday Feature: Good and Bad Oils

I was glistening, a shiny sheen rescued from ash and scaliness and shelling out more money than I cared to. I had baby oil and decided to use that until I could get the money to replenish my favorite body butter. But when I noticed that baby oil is mineral oil and mineral oil is petroleum (or petrolatum) which comes from crude oil (as in the BP oil spill oil) I decided I didn’t want to put car fuel on my skin. This is not just car fuel, which sounds bad enough, but a substance that doesn’t allow the skin to breathe and traps toxins in the body. What, then, would I do without making myself broke?

The Good

Extra Virgin Olive Oil—As you know, I use this in my cooking all the time. I love EVOO (as Rachael Ray likes to say). When in a pinch, I use this on my hair and skin. For it to be emollient, I have to make sure to spritz my hair and dampen my skin. EVOO is known for its health properties, including increasing good cholesterol and lowering bad cholesterol. This oil contains the fat that your body needs.

Shea Butter—Made from the nuts of the African shea tree, this cream had been one of my standards for about 20 years. I stopped using it when I couldn’t find a reputable vendor but searched it out again about two years ago when I threw away every product that contained mineral oil. Shea butter has worked wonders on my children’s eczema outbreaks. I use this daily to moisturize my entire body, including my lips, which don’t get dry if I fail to put on lipstick. It is also known to relieve sinus congestion and skin inflammation.

Don’t be fooled. Many products will tout that they contain shea butter, but when you look at ALL the ingredients you may find they also have mineral oil and/or petroleum. Look for 100 percent pure shea butter that you can buy from independent vendors, especially getting good deals online. The product I buy from my health food store costs $8 but from the manufacturer’s website I can get it for half the price. With shipping, I still pay less than what I do in the store.

Grape seed, cherry kernel, hazel nut oil—I found a botanical face moisturizer that I absolutely loved that contained these three ingredients. Each of these oils has medicinal properties, though some greater than others. What a great benefit I didn’t know about when I bought the moisturizer from this organic products company. Perhaps the healing properties caused my skin to feel elastic and to glow without feeling greasy. You know I was disappointed to find that the company went out of business. I plan to try to recreate my own and I’ll let you know how it works.

Extra Virgin Coconut Oil—I know of a few people who swear by extra virgin coconut oil. They eat it, using it in smoothies, and moisturize their skin and hair with it. My research shows that extra virgin coconut oil can withstand high heat (not going rancid) better than extra virgin olive oil. Extra virgin coconut oil is high in saturated fat though this doesn’t seem to negate its health benefits. It has healing properties, which includes being anti-bacterial and anti-inflammatory. Even with all the good reports about this oil, I have yet to try it. If it’s better than my beloved EVOO then I’m sure I’ll love it.

Other notes:

  • Use the above products or other essential oils directly or products that contain them (without mineral oil and petroleum).
  • Stay away from hydrogenated oils. Unsaturated oils go through hydrogenation, a chemical process that alters the oil from its natural state to preserve foods (like many brands of peanut butter and snack foods) and cosmetic products—and then become saturated fats (AKA trans-fats or trans fatty acids).
    Saturated fats have been associated with high cholesterol, heart disease and cancer. You may not be eating hydrogenated oils, but your skin can still absorb them from the products you use, including lotions and deodorants. So even though the product may advertise that it contains olive oil, if olive oil has hydrogenated or partially hydrogenated before it, don’t use it.
  • Extra virgin means that the oil was extracted by physical, not chemical, means and is in its most pure state.
  • What products do you use that don’t contain mineral or petroleum? What products do you plan to replace?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Wisdom of Forgiveness Beyond the Grave

    What Do You Think? Wednesday

    Yesterday my family buried a prince of a man: Daniel Thomas, my grandfather who lived more than nine decades and had the wisdom to prove it. With his wit and few cents, he snagged and married my grandma, moved from LA (as he liked to call lower Alabama) to Michigan, made a living as a truck driver, sent two kids to school, and pulled enough resources to help dozens of others. He knew no no’s, gathered a bunch of yeses from well placed questions, other observations and a dazzling smile. He knew how to ingratiate himself to people and never let illiteracy or Jim Crow laws and attitudes stop him.

    He knew what to do.
    He knew what to say.
    He knew how to get over.
    He knew the power of grace.

    But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.—Luke 6:35.

    He loved those who despised his skin color and the fact that he couldn’t read; he spent time and money to make so many comfortable and only expected that we would do for others, too. He was favored of God and man, for certain the son of the Most High, who is kind to ALL, even the ungrateful and evil ones. And if to the ungrateful and evil ones, even to our loved ones who don’t express to us love.

    Granddad’s spirit still hangs over my cloud of unforgiveness toward those I expected to express their concern for me during my family’s bereavement. That spirit wants to clear the dark cloud that wants to rain revenge, to tell them “Forget you,” and never show an act of kindness again.

    “… [D]o good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. . .”

    This I must learn.
    This I must do.
    This is how to get over.
    This displays the power of grace, a great testimony for a strong black woman in recovery.

    How have you struggled with displaying grace to those who have wronged you? What lessons have you learned in the process?

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Power of Faith and Parenting

    For years I shrunk back from the power of faith, seeing its might like an approaching Mac truck in the next lane. I wanted to play it safe, not wanting it to hit me, thinking it might damage my existence, mangling me into and maligning me as a fanatic that favored faith over the God that demanded it. Yes, I believed God could do anything and wanted Him to do what I believed He placed on my heart, but I would have a hard time seeing my life play out in the visions He showed me.

    “…Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief” (Mark 9:24).

    God did. I would feel an urging in my spirit to obey God, just follow the path he showed me: Marry Flynn; join his church; submit to the church’s biased leadership; keep my mouth shut and show my husband through my actions; quit my tenured job; be a homemaker; and a host of other demands that at the time I could not see how they related to my life mission: to encourage Christian women, particularly black Americans, to be biblical all their various roles.

    “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose” (Romans 8:28).

    The more I obeyed, the more I saw God work in my tough moments. Obedience increased my faith in God and in the visions coming to pass. So from the hidden spaces of my house to the unveiled vastness of the Internet, God has recently given me some platforms to carry out my mission, the latest one being Empowering Everyday Woman Magazine, where I am the new parenting columnist for this online news source for Christian women of color. Check out the introductory feature on me in the latest edition.

    “. . . [T]tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope:” (Romans 5:3-4).

    Now my faith is strong, knowing that I may not know exactly how God will bring His vision for my life to pass but confident that He will.

    “And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him” (Hebrews 11:6).

    So today I thank God for His faithfulness. Through it I have become more faithful.

    My One Thousand Gifts List

    #41-50
    AAA Road Service
    A husband willing to wait for AAA Road Service
    A mother-in-law I can talk to
    Being able to hear God’s voice
    The Holy Ghost giving ears to my spirit
    Keeping me safe on the road with three flat tires
    A loving church
    Deacon Elijah for telling me about my flat tires
    Brother John Malloy for noticing the first flat tire
    Brothers Leartis and John for attempting to change one tire and get air for the other ones.

    Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith

    Friday Feature: Cooking on The Brand New Mommy

    Today you get your weekly health tip early. Check out my video demonstration from The Brand New Mommy on how to cook healthy collard greens. Even though you can watch the video here, there’s more blogger Karen Taylor Bass has written about me and you also just need to check out her blog. It’s such a cool concept with a cool look and feel and great information.

    Don’t forget to tune in to the Equipped for Life radio broadcast today at 3 p.m. where I will be discussing my book Daily Guideposts: Your First Year of Motherhood, and the host, Pastor Christopher W. Brooks, will be giving away copies. Listen at www.faithtalk1500.com or 1500 AM in Detroit for your chance to win.