Parent Protector

What Do You Think? Wednesday

“We formed a new religion: No sins as long as there’s permission and deception is the only felony…” from No Church in the Wild on “Watch the Throne” by Jay-Z and Kanye West

Before I married and had children, I never called myself a feminist, though I had many of her ways. Fifty-fifty is how some saw things, but I knew this was unrealistic. I knew I could not cast off my biological or physiological makeup to truly be equal to a man, but in the ways I could I was sure to try. After I got married, I didn’t mind being pregnant, but I was going to work my career, carry my children where I needed to make everything work. I certainly wasn’t going to be made to be “a keeper at home,” but juggling all my balls had me constantly calling on Jesus. The more I studied the word the more I understood my role as a keeper at home (Titus 2:5). And I found out that role is more than just staying at and keeping a home clean; it includes protecting my home from clearly unbiblical influences, like the song lyrics above.

I don’t care how Christians justify letting their children listen to Jay-Z, Kanye West and the like or say it’s unrealistic to tell them not to listen to their music. Anyone who would pen a lyric promoting a new religion to validate their sins is not welcome in my home. …Read the rest at EEW Magazine and let me know what you think.

Take No Control, Take No Credit

Me (pregnant with Justus) and ladies of my former discipleship group: LaWanda, Della and Nikia

On Friday I hung out with one of my baby sisters, Della. She and I aren’t related by human blood but we are none the less family. We’ve supported each other in many ways, emotionally, mentally, financially, socially and spiritually. When Nate was born, she felt led for six months to serve me and my family by helping me care for Nate, Josh and my home. I have led her through many bible studies and given her numerous hours of counseling. She looks up to me. Della is my baby sister and because she is she watches me. Friday Della told me something she observed about me that had been such a stronghold for me I’m still uncovering how it has been broken in my life:

“Rhon, you have really changed. I remember when you wouldn’t stop until you found the answer,” Della said, after seeing how I didn’t obsess with finding out the missing word of a memory verse I was trying to quote to her. “Oh, I’ll have to look it up later,” I said. Even with the Bible on my phone that was in my purse, I went back to talking to her and we proceeded to shop. She saw this and knew these actions represented a different person, a person who was trying to focus on what was before her and wasn’t trying to control matters. I am learning not to try to control everything.

And I’ve tried to control a lot of people and situations through people. This can be a miserable existence and one we were never meant to live. We can’t control the actions of anyone—friends, co-workers, husband, children or any subordinates, particularly those we may lead in ministry. We just have to do what God told us to do and let that be enough. So often obedience is not enough because we want to own what happens as a result of what we told someone, whether it was advice or a warning. But we can’t own the outcome—good or bad—of what people do after we share with them. When we try to control how (or even if) they respond to our teaching we are trying to make ourselves God. God is the one who put in us the power to want to do and the ability to do what pleases Him (Philippians 2:13). When we fret because people haven’t followed our instruction, we are upset, essentially, that we aren’t that power to make them want and to actually do what we told them to do. When they do what we told them to do, we can’t take credit for that. The Holy Spirit led us to instruct them. The Holy Spirit led them to complete the assignment. The Holy Spirit gave them the power to complete the assignment. We are nowhere in the equation, except as a vessel God chose to use so His voice might be heard and obeyed.

When we walk in complete humility we continually recognize our “spiritual littleness and unworthiness and submit to the power and will of God.” When we do this we recognize that the only power we have is to trust and obey God. He is responsible for handling the outcome. He has already equipped believers with being able to do right. He already has a system in place when we—sinners and saints—do wrong. The consequences are left for Him and shouldn’t be our concern if we did what He told us to do. Our focus has to be on obedience. Obedience is hard enough in and of itself and will give us plenty to do. We can’t own outcomes—good or bad—if we did what God told us to do.

My One Thousand Gifts List

201-210
Ashley Haupt’s blog about her daughter starting a gratitude journal
Doing “the bump” with Joshua
Joshua dancing while I sang a made up song
Justus banging his foot to the rhythm of my chopping onions
A good night’s rest
A shower before 7 a.m.
Talking with Flynn
Lunch for Joshua and Flynn being easy to prepare
Justus sleeping through the night
Awesome love time with God

Friday Feature: Ajene Gailliard

This had been a long time coming, this breaking of sorts serving to tear down and root out what was keeping her down. For years she resisted the knock, ignored the chisels and the cracks, would start afresh and then go back to her own way. Her name really isn’t that important as her story mirrors our lives at one time or another, maybe even now. But I want to tell you her name so you know who is gaining victory over her flesh to seek the best—naturally—that God has for her.

Eat Well Live Well t-shirt winner Ajene Gailliard

Meet Ajene Gailliard, Musings of a (Recovering) Strong Black Woman Eat Well Live Well t-shirt giveaway winner, wife and mom of four, and a Spirit-filled Christian who blogs at Kingdom Mommy. The following is largely her words, presented here to spur you on your quest to heal yourself naturally:

I come from a family of very diseased people. I was faced with my mother’s health challenges: lupus, brain tumor, a lot of other issues and diabetes. I saw her in and out of the hospital, back and forth to the doctor, pill bottle upon pill bottle.

I didn’t have any health issues until college when I broke out in hives. The doctor couldn’t explain it.

I gained 50 lbs in my master’s degree program; it was a 10 month program. I had a health challenge that didn’t get any better and doctors said could only be cured with surgery. I read Patient Heal Thyself, by Jordan Rubin. A co-worker gave me the book. I then started (Rubin’s) The Maker’s Diet. The day I started the diet, I was healed. I had no more pain, no more issues. Obviously it was a supernatural touch from the Lord.

I was committed to losing weight. I went on a liquid diet through my job. I lost weight, but gained 20 lbs back when I got married. My husband and I ate American fare. I skipped the diet. I did a lot of fast food eating when I was pregnant with my oldest child. After I had her, I started having the symptoms (of that major health challenge) again. I knew it was because of my eating. I started The Maker’s Diet again. I fell off. My husband and I saw a documentary about fast food. That was 2005. We haven’t eaten fast food since. We stopped doing the pork. I just didn’t like it. It just didn’t do it for me anymore.

Even with ceasing to eat fast food and pork, Ajene still didn’t get a handle on her diet. While pregnant with her second child, she was put on bed rest so she wasn’t able to exercise or prepare her own foods. After having her second daughter, her symptoms returned yet again. She had a C-section and had just had one 17 months before with her first child. So even after having her second child, exercising was hard. With her health challenges came financial challenges. Her husband wasn’t working full time and Ajene had recently gotten laid off from her job as a social worker, counseling at-risk children and families and conducting a prevention program in the Detroit Public Schools, which she simply loved. She was depressed and discouraged.

I didn’t grow up overweight so (being overweight) was a challenge for me. I began to see the connection between seeking God and exercise. I didn’t have a lot of people in my family who were health nuts so I would be going back and forth, trying to find what worked. I was working with some health pastors, who were helping me but they were manipulative, saying things like ‘You have to serve us.’ That turned into a very devastating experience for me…. That relationship ended. Last year when I went to the doctor in March 2010, feeling led by the Holy Spirit to go (I hadn’t been to a primary care doctor in about four years), I found out I had high cholesterol. I was feeling light-headed. My mind was fuzzy. I went on the strict diet that the health pastors put me on. My cholesterol went down, but I had gained 10 lbs. Wrestling with her weight and the emotional scars from her relationship with the health pastors, Ajene says “I began not to care.” But she could no longer ignore the promptings from the Holy Spirit to trust Him and to change her health habits.

Over the last four months the urging to change has been strong. It’s now been more of a prompting from the Holy Spirit, being aware of what I put in my temple. Before, it was more about the weight. It’s now about health. God showed me that weight was my thorn in the side.

Recently Ajene found out that she had inflammation in her body, and I was led of the Lord to go on the Daniel fast. I had done it before and I would lose weight, even though I wasn’t trying. For the last month I’ve been following this diet. Not only has it been natural, it has been a discipline for me spiritually, to grow up even more. To be in tune with Him. To hear from the Holy Spirit, what He is telling me to eat. Before I would just eat what I wanted. I have to think more and surrender more to the Holy Spirit. We eat every three hours. Imagine how my prayer life has to be. Ajene says now she knows that (w)hatever issue could be developed down the line can be handled if I listen to the Holy Spirit. Before I would get the promptings but I wouldn’t listen. I wouldn’t care because I was so broken. The Lord is showing me that I can eat well if I follow him. It’s been more than just the food, my weight and my health. It’s been about following the Holy Spirit. Not only am I dropping physical weight, I am also dropping spiritual weight. It’s been a journey. I haven’t mastered anything. I’m still working and know we must follow the Holy Spirit in everything we do, even with what we eat.

Follow Ajene at Kingdom Mommy, where she encourages Christian women with young children to raise them to be strong believers in Christ and is currently featuring the series Not So Extreme Couponing to help you navigate the coupon combining world.

Throw it Out

What Do You Think? Wednesday

Tomorrow is bulk pickup day in my neighborhood. We carried out items from our garage, the basement and toy chests on three levels. Items were bent, broken, dusty and outdated. Some were still in good condition, but we hadn’t used them in years. None of them worked for us anymore but only served to clutter our lives. The bulk pickup day forced us to gather up and throw out stuff that was just in the way.

My vacation did the same for me. I was able to unload a lot of activities and processes that weighed me down and kept me from pursuing with a clear mind and stress-free body what God had for me. I came back from vacation refusing to allow that clutter to enter my life again. How about you? What type of personal bulk pickup days do you have or need to have in order to “lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensures” you (Hebrews 12:1)? It’s Wednesday, so you know I want to know what you think.

Vacation Tribute

For leisurely mornings and late-day breakfasts
Traveling roads of grass-feeding cows and streaked-clouded skies
Feeding giraffes and following red panda, other world animals, in our state’s backyard
For restaurants with vegetarian fare, swimming pools, play and rest
Time and talk with friends
Exchanging light-hearted banter, running dreams and plans past one another
Walking bodies, busily and lazily, at our choosing
Double-features at home and away
Long, late talks touching tummies and hearts
Melted ice cream on hands and cement porches
Laughing loud and hard at made up dances and other antics
The five of us, sometimes just two, cuddled up, snuggling real good
For this, our vacation, I am thankful.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#191-200
Early morning time with Nate enjoying his company
Being able to return Joshua’s clothes to JCPenny
Nate initiating playing with matching color and shape cards
Taking children to the library
Joshua finishing homework before 4:30 p.m.
Seein the children’s joy at being at the library
Sweet fellowship with God
Nate loving fruit
Nate wanting to mingle with the older children at the library
Flynn buying chicken so I didn’t have to cook dinner