Category Archives: MUSINGS

Special Obligation: Have Mercy

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

My mom is scheduled to come live with me next week and I welcome the challenge. I didn’t immediately feel this way. I shared with you on Monday my challenge to flow in the season God has me in. So when my home was the logical choice for her to transition back on her own after spending six weeks in the hospital with several issues and at least three near-death experiences and another seven weeks in a rehabilitation facility, I had a hard time; I didn’t imagine my life caring for a 2, 4, 9 and 70 year old. I figured I was just too early for the sandwich generation. And I was mad that my mom’s lifestyle contributed to her illnesses and thought, “If she had only heeded her children’s warnings then maybe she would still be living on her own.” And then I thought about how my mom’s mantra had always been “I did it my way” and I would have a hard time being gracious in my home where I did things my way. But God reminded me that I am too focused on what my mom doesn’t do and what I do and this type of control, this type of self-righteousness, gets all of us recovering strong black women in trouble.

We get so mad when our loved ones don’t live according to God’s standards but we fail to look at the greatness of God’s mercy. We say we don’t understand how they can continue in their sin, but we fail to focus on how merciful God has been to them in their sin. We want to shout and curse at them for not getting their act together, but we should be shouting and praising God for His capacity to withhold judgment until they get their act together. Instead of consistently scolding our loved ones about sin perhaps we should be sharing God’s mercy with them, in our approach and in our content (Psalm 103:8-11; Proverbs 15:1). Perhaps the weight of His mercy will cause them to consider their state and surrender to God’s will. Maybe we should just have mercy.

Mercy is my special obligation to my mom; mercy is the special obligation for the Christian. When we have mercy we exhibit the epitome of God in a dark world that will one day experience His justice. Perhaps our mercy will lead them into the arms of God and away from His eventual wrath (Romans 2:1-16; Hebrews 10:31). Surely, we can deny ourselves, take up our cross of mercy and follow God in hopes that our loved ones will follow Him too. After all, our lives are about giving God glory.

What loved one do you need to show mercy to? How is God speaking to you through this word? Please, tell me what you think.

Positioned to Plant

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“Give it up; give it all up.” This I heard God say when seeking Him about easing back into public ministry after taking a six-month maternity leave right before I had my second child. That was four years ago and I have yet to return to serve as my church’s women’s ministry assistant director, discipleship director and a regular bible teacher (all the positions that flashed in my mind when I heard God speak). I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I knew that God had planted me in women’s ministry and couldn’t understand why He would remove me from those positions. “How can I walk in my calling if I’m not in my positions?” Responding to my thoughts, I heard God say “They will come.” “How are they going to find me?” I responded. God was silent, probably laughing that I forgot that He was all-powerful and all-knowing and that He could orchestrate any scenario—in or out of my home—to help me fulfill my purpose. Of course, that’s exactly what happened.

In addition to the women who I had a direct discipleship relationship with, women began calling me to counsel and mentor them; I received two major writing assignments without having ever met the people who hired me; and my husband and I started counseling about some married and engaged couples. Through this blog, that God led me to begin after my transition out of public ministry, and other online sources, I have connected with so many women that I have ministered to and alongside. Yes, the women (and husbands) came right into my home, on my couch, through my phone and over my computer. In many ways my volume of ministry to women is more than it was when I was fully serving in public ministry. I would never have imagined this. Only God knew and He knows the same for you. Allow God to use you wherever you find yourself and whatever season you find yourself in. Though you may not have imagined being where you are, even thinking the timing of your season sucks, know that God wants to use you right where you are.

My friend Dianna just ministered a three-day revival where she, in essence, charged us to “sow the seed God gave us” wherever we are planted. She explained that God gives each of us a seed—a calling to win souls that we are to fulfill using whatever gifts and talents God gives us. And we are to use our seed, to sow it, right where we find ourselves, not where we think we should be. When she spoke, I thought of 1 Corinthians 12:4-7:

Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.
And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.
And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.
But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.

We may not have the same gifts as another but even if we do that doesn’t mean we should be in the same position (administration) or even use our gift the same way (operation). The difference in the administration and operation can depend on many aspects, including our calling, personality, ability, talent, season, and planting. I think those of us who know our calling and want to fulfill it get tripped up in the other areas. If we aren’t comfortable with how God made us (our personality, ability and talent) and place more emphasis on a position we have, then we will have a hard time being satisfied with operating in whatever season we are in. And the season dictates where we are planted.

So, we have to be scouts, looking for opportunities to sow our seed right where we are. If I weren’t forced to learn this I probably would have missed ministering recently to two of my mom’s friends—women in their 70s, right over my telephone. No, I didn’t imagine that, but God did and I am thankful that He had me switch positions so I could minister in places and to people that I otherwise would surely have missed.

What are some adjustments you need to make in your life so you can sow your seed right where you are?

My One Thousand Gifts List

#431-440
A great time in fellowship with one of my disciples with God giving me wisdom and prophetic words for her and me realizing why I didn’t feel led to eat breakfast
Nate sticking a rattail comb in a navel orange and saying, “It’s like a pirate (ship).”
Justus smiling after a bite of banana
Not being as upset as I normally would after not being able to book the date I wanted for an event
Switching my sad demeanor into gratitude after thinking how ridiculous my slumping was in comparison to the concerns of our Compassion son and folks who have suffered from recent natural tragedies
Joshua being out of school for two days so I got to sleep in
Being able to babysit for a new friend and feeding her and her son healthy food
Joshua and Nate playing outside
The entire family enjoying the meal
Taking the boys to the park

Friday Feature: My Raw Journey

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Where I’ve been these past two weeks I’ve never been before. I guess we can all say that about any week or other time period of our lives. If we travel the same road, talk to the same people or perform the same chore, there will be something that will be different. Every routine is different in some way. This week’s different, though, stood out for me. For years—19 to be exact—I’ve known that a raw food diet was better for my body and felt that I should eat the majority of my meals this way. But years of comfort and convenience kept me eating mostly cooked foods. That is until this week. On Monday, January 23 I began a raw food program where I’m learning a great deal about raw food and its preparation for meals. This journey has already given me more than I anticipated. So far I have added to my food repertoire

new leafy greens;
new herbs;
new nuts;
new smoothies;
new desserts;
new juices;
new fruits;
new vegetables;
new recipes;
new food combinations;
new techniques; and
new health benefits.

And I have a
new body
new energy and
new outlook.

Look for me to discuss my discoveries in upcoming weeks of Friday Feature. I want to share with you my journey in hopes that you will follow where God is leading you. My hope for these posts is the same as when I began my Friday Feature posts last January: That you will seek to have a strong body just as you strive to be strong in spirit (3 John 2). May you allow God to strengthen every part of you so you can be optimally fit for the fight to put His Kingdom first.

Stability in an Unstable World

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

This world seems to be falling apart before our very eyes, but we’re still here and expected to thrive in spite of what we see. Psalm 11:3 says “if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Stand firm on God’s word and teach our children to do the same. Read my latest EEW post (that begins below) where I encourage parents to work to provide their children stability in this unstable world.


“Mommy, please don’t adopt us,” my nine year old said and then began to explain as he saw my brow raise and eye squint trying to figure out what he really meant. “I hope you don’t ever give us away. Please don’t,” he begged as he hugged me around my neck. He said this some months ago after hearing a presentation at my church that had just begun an adoption and orphan care ministry. That was the first time he heard about children being adopted and knew that it entailed someone giving away children and someone else taking them in. After I explained the general reasons why parents put their children up for adoption and that he and his brothers would be staying with us until somebody died, as long as I could help it, he smiled, settled down and started back playing with his brothers. Everything was once again well in his world.

I understand Joshua’s angst; it’s his desire for stability. This is a child’s nature. They like routine: the same stories; the same pajamas, the same “blankie,” the same route to school. Any change changes their world and they don’t seem to function quite so well. Such is the case with many of us. Our God is one of decency and order. He had an order for creation and sanctioned order for systems, including the family, the church, the workplace and the environment. When His ordained order goes awry, chaos ensues. Our God is a God of stability and expects us to do what we can to live in it and provide it for our offspring (Just a look at the Proverbs shows us this). But sometimes our world doesn’t go as planned. Divorce happens. Family members die. People lie.

But we as parents, in spite of life’s challenges, have been given the main role of providing stability for our children in the big and little things. Read more at EEW Magazine and tell me what you think.

Special Obligation: Be There

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Last Monday seemed like the day from hell with one thing after another not working out for me. I was frustrated, tired and completely spent. Then I got a call from one of my mother’s friends, one of my “aunts,” and my emotions took another spin.

She started with small talk, asked about the boys and how the whole family was doing. I asked how she was doing. She mumbled something then asked me how I was doing. “Now, that’s what I asked you and you still haven’t answered me.” Then the conversation broke and so did her water. She gave birth to a flood of tears, completely washing me away. She told me how sickness had taken its toll on her family, how bones, bodies and hearts ached, ravaged from disease. She needed someone to talk to; she needed me to talk to, the frustrated, miserable, pitiful one. The one without words. So I called on the Word, the One who gives all words, creates all days, and allows circumstances that make for frustrating, miserable, sad — hellish— days. He gave me words, too mysterious to now remember or even then to ever know, but He spoke them through me, prayed them through me and simply blessed her and my soul.

After God breathed into our moment, filling our lungs and hearts and blowing on our tears, she said, “God told me, ‘Call Rhonda. And I thank God He sent me an angel.” She said she could now go on, even if just for a little while. And our little while, our 26 minutes, pushed me on, out of my time of frustration and self-absorption and into the presence of God and the need of His people. God planned our meeting at our crossroads, the place where only He could point us the right way. In the middle of our moment I sensed that God had called me there, wanted me to stare in the face of someone else’s adversity and focus on helping to bring them through. This is the Christian obligation, to be there one for another to help a brother and sister see tough times through (Romans 12:15;James 5:16). I thank God He chose me that day, my frustrating day, for such a job as this. His use of me made me see how wallowing in my misery was no good for me or anybody else who God appointed to need me.

How has God had you refocus on someone else’s needs in the midst of your own needs? What did you learn in that instance? Please, tell me what you think.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#421-430
The boys having enough food to eat
Seeing the children excited about going to the park
Watching the children run, jump, slide, climb and swing at the park
Hearing Joshua say unsolicited, “Thanks for taking us to the park.”
Joshua saying, “We need to start working on my science fair project” due a month and a half from now
Having an absolutely fabulous, stress-free day even though I though it would be the opposite (This is the day Flynn began working 14 hour days twice a week.)
Watching the short film “The Cycle” on one of the cable networks through Xfinity on my iPad
A discipleship meeting with a mentee who said she has learned to live in the moments she has and not worry aobut the past or future, her biggest lesson (and the one I was hoping she would get from reading “One Thousand Gifts”)
Sending my mentee home with food
The strength from reading Titus 3