Breaking in Your Shoes

Sometimes we have to do what we just don’t want to do: Get out of bed; go to work; cook dinner; drive across town (in rush hour traffic); spend time with the kids after working hard all day; or being friends with someone you’d rather not be bothered with. We sometimes have to do what we don’t want to do because we have been given a divine mandate to stick and stay. We have to keep fighting and we don’t have the option of giving up or walking away. Our lot is clear and no amount of murmuring and complaining will change the fact that sometimes we have to do what we just don’t want to do. Murmuring and complaining about our duties, especially when they’re divinely given, speak loudly to the distrust we have in God to help us endure or even enjoy what we have been given to do. I know I have a hard time fathoming enjoyment when I really feel tortured, but too many times God has shown me the good that comes from enduring a tough situation for me not to try to have a pleasant attitude about something I simply hate.

Some years ago when I had to be friends with someone who was so opposite of me God told me that she was like ‘a pretty pair of new shoes, lovely on the outside but your feet hurt when you put them on.’ Even though this friendship on the surface was one that I thought was just lovely, as we began to go deeper in our relationship, I wanted to take off. Just like kicking off shoes that make your feet hurt, I wanted to end my friendship so I could get some relief from the suspicion and overall insecurity that plagued our relationship. But like breaking in a new pair of shoes, I had to continue “wearing” this friendship until it became comfortable. I couldn’t just expect the friendship to immediately be like my old comfy pair; I had to do some hard walking to break the relationship in. I had to have the hard talks, take the tough words, and work through the rough patches. This is our charge whatever the situation or relationship. When we have a divine mandate, we have to travel the tough terrain knowing that’s the only way change for the better will occur. We can’t be afraid to step on rocks or let our relationship shoes get wet. God will protect our ordered steps. He is the orchestrator of all things divine, and He knows what we need and what it takes to get us there. Sometimes we have to put on some hurting shoes to help us make the journey, and we and the “shoes” will be the better for the wearing.

Been There, Done That

“Been there, done that.” I don’t know who originated that saying but it bothers me. I admit that I am guilty of having used the phrase myself, but stopped after people have used it in conversations with me that seem belittling. Most times folks’ use of the colloquialism was not the thought of “I can’t go back into that foolishness” but the declaration of “You’re still there? I’m past that stage.” People who are conquerors, recovering strong black women among them, sometimes forget that as Christians we are MORE than conquerors but only so through Jesus Christ (Romans 8:37). He deserves the credit for every hurdle we jump, every river we roll through, and every storm we survive, for us being alive. “Been there, done that” just seems to place the focus on us and not God who has worked through us. Maybe it’s just me, but you can read more about my thoughts in my latest EEW article where I discuss people’s use of “Been there, done that” in the context of parenting and a suggested biblical response for handling those who use the phrase to belittle you. The column focus is on parenting but has broader applications. Read it and make your comments here on the blog or feel free to comment on the magazine site. I am thankful for a God-given response to “Been there, done that” belittlement so I can maintain my Christian testimony even in this area.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#481-490
Leslie’s book of poems arriving in the mail
Dinner with friends to celebrate my birthday at Benihana
My wonderful husband for planning my birthday celebration (his first time in 14 years)
Flowers from the Criners, bringing a touch of spring in my home
My iPhone arriving
A letter from Daniel (a thank you note and a small picture)
Studying 2 Peter 1 early and getting an outline for the discipleship lesson
Josh and Nate using their manners with and helping each other
Getting my blog done without stress
Visiting a friend at the hospital

Friday Feature: Three Amazing Thoughts

As you may know I completed a raw food program last month and experienced amazing results, including a 17 pound drop in weight. I feel lighter physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. In my post My Raw Food Journey, I listed some general things I had learned, including new food preparations and philosophies. During the program’s conference calls I would share some of the delightful and surprising changes that happened to me while on the program: Being full fast and having amazing energy where I no longer need to take naps. I didn’t understand what with raw foods made me so full eating so little and being so energized, but the program director let gave me these reasons:

1) Raw food metabolizes faster than cooked food so it gives your body its needed nutrients quickly and thus signals to the brain that your stomach is full.
2) The body can break down raw food easier because the digestive enzymes that are necessary for this process are still intact. Most of these enzymes, however, are destroyed when cooking food. When eating cooked foods, the body has to work harder to digest these because the body has to produce digestive enzymes that should come from the consumed food. This is the reason you may want to go to sleep after a meal, particularly a big one. Whereas with raw foods, the normal digestive process takes place, leaving you with energy to expend on activities instead of on breaking down food.

When I told her my plan was not to be 100 percent raw, she suggested I make sure to eat some raw food along with my cooked food for the following reason: She said for whatever reason the body reacts to cooked foods like a foreign invader and the body works hard to rid itself of the foreign invader like it would a virus. If you eat raw food along with cooked food, the body no longer treats the cooked food like a foreign invader. Of the three theories she gave, this one gave me pause. I have yet to research any of her theories for scientific support, but my empirical evidence can testify to what she has said, even on this last thought. I cooked some black eyed peas last night and ate some with some tabbouleh; I felt fine. I ate some more peas today with some carrot slaw; I felt fine; I ate two spoonfuls of peas alone and my stomach was upset. It was in knots and hurt something awful. Again, I haven’t checked out the science behind my director’s statements but my hunger satisfaction, energy and physical comfort agree with her words. Science or no science, I like how my body is working with the good, uncooked foods I have been eating. If you have yet to try more raw foods in your diet, perhaps try to eat at least one raw food with your cooked foods. You definitely don’t have anything to lose (except for unwanted weight) and, as I have experienced, much to gain.

Out to Lunch

What Do You Think? Wednesday

Actually my break from regularly scheduled activities started well before breakfast and has lasted way past dinner. This now is my life as I care for my family (husband and 2-, 4- and 9- year-old sons), which now includes my 70-year-old mother. My blogging times have been later these past few days, with my new life seeming to crowd my writing space. This is hard, trying to maintain this blog in such a season, but I haven’t heard the Lord tell me to stop. He initially told me to post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and for more than three years I have done that (with the exception of a couple maternity leave days). “Now, a person who is put in charge as a manager must be faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2). Because God called me to manage this site, I will remain faithful to the calling, posting by midnight my three days a week. Lord willing, you will hear from me on Friday.

How have you managed major seasons of change in your life?

Job Inadequacy

“We are not the Holy Spirit so therefore inadequate to do His job.” This came to mind one day when I was trying to figure out what to do and the how to do of something. It was enormous, way above my head, but I contemplated handling it, taking it on MYSELF. As I worked, trying to finagle a process, my process, those words came to me: “We are not the Holy Spirit so therefore inadequate to do His job.” Grief and relief were my simultaneous responses, revealing the duality of my struggle. Wanting, really, to be God (though I never set out to be) and happy that I was not God. I was upset that I couldn’t handle my God-sized task and comforted that I couldn’t so I didn’t have to. This undoubtedly is a great issue in the life of recovering strong black women, all women (men, too), who have frequently counted on their strength above God’s. Tough work doesn’t easily scare us; we want to tackle the problem, wrestle it down, make it surrender to our will and leave us with arms raised in victory. But we are not always called to this, though this fight is our natural default. Natural default—our fault of nature, the sin nature preset to automatically tackle nature with our nature.
So we are told

  • to operate according to the Spirit so we don’t operate according to our nature (Galatians 5:16);
  • to declare our nature dead so the Spirit in us lives (Romans 6:11);
  • to not snuff out the Holy Spirit in us in preference to our nature (1 Thessalonians 5:19);
  • to remember that when our nature is weak, God is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9); and
  • to know that our fight is spiritual, not physical (2 Corinthians 10:3-5),

so that God can shine boldly through us. The challenge now is to constantly battle my nature, tackle and wrestle it down, keep it there so I can declare victory in the Spirit. I thank God that though my struggle is real, I have supernatural words that can do a supernatural work in me to accomplish what God would have manifest through me. Much more could be said….until another time…

My One Thousand Gifts List

#471-480
Flynn letting me wear his hat because I didn’t have one
Compliments on my new Facebook picture
Flynn loading the dishwasher
The realization that I don’t first greet God in the morning
God waking me up in spite of my sins
Tabitha watching the children in the morning AND evening
Attending Joshua’s Black History Month program
A play date with Nate and Jackson and talking to Kim
Mrs. Fisher waiting with Joshua until I arrived to pick him up
A beautiful birthday card from Nichole