Category Archives: MUSINGS

But God

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

I was a liar and loose, totally set apart for Satan’s use.
I did what I wanted when I wanted
Didn’t care what others thought about it.
I was a maverick
Set in my ways
I planned my days
Then Christ stepped in.

Once you were dead because of your disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil–the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature we were subject to God’s anger, just like everyone else. But God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God’s grace that you have been saved!)(Ephesians 2:1-5, emphasis mine)

But God saved me and He continues to save me:

I would have cussed her out, but God
I would have socked his jaw, but God
I would have stewed in anger, but God
I would have rolled my eyes, but God
I would have killed my kids, but God
I would have stared a hole through you, but God
I would have nagged him to death, but God

But God is the difference between literal and figurative heaven and hell—a life eternally without Him and a life right now without Him. Through Jesus’ death, we who accept Christ as Savior and Lord, have God’s Spirit to help us say yes when we want to say no, shut our mouths when we want to open them, smile when we want to frown, speak life when we want to offer words of death. Jesus, as Savior and Lord, is the difference that we need. Praise God for But God!

What is your but God moment, the moment that God stepped in to remind you of who you are and how you are to behave and then reminding you of the power you have to obey? Please, tell me what you think.

Just Be Faithful

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I want to send out notes, thinking of you and thank you, and buy gifts whenever I feel moved. I want to cook elaborate dinners, take the boys to the park every sunny day and not yell at them at all. I want to wear fancy suits, sharp shoes and give a dollar to those needy passersby. I want to rise early daily, mop my floors weekly, have a getaway monthly, take a longer trip quarterly and plan the family trip to wherever we want to go in the world.

But sometimes I send up prayers and give oral thank yous, make lists of gifts, cook what’s easy to fix, spend some sunny days indoors or in the backyard, say ‘please forgive me,’ wear what’s in my closet, give a nod and ‘I’m sorry’ to most needy passersby, get up whenever I can get the body to rise, spot clean and vacate to another room or another world in books.

Sometimes you get to church at 11:45, have just enough clean plates for the dinner meal and have to tell the raw truth when they ask you how you’re doing. That strong black woman mantle is too heavy to carry and nobody should expect you to carry it anyway. “Now, a person who is put in charge as a manager must be faithful” (1 Corinthians 4:2). God only asks that we are faithful, that we do the best that we can—truly our best—and if that is less than our best in another less busy or less lean season of our lives then that is the best for now. And that is always enough, at least in the eyes of God, the only ones that matter, and for that I am thankful.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#551-560
A nap
Completing my book proposal
Supporting Christen by attending her play
Flynn being a hands-on dad, including today bathing Nate and Justus
Flynn cooking
Forman Mills having good deals
A productive and stress-free day
God’s grace for getting the boys and me ready for church
Christen’s faithfulness in helping me
Flowers and a card from Tabitha

Friday Feature: Roundup Fourteen

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Here are a couple of links from the blog Food Renegade that my BFF Nichole hipped me to; they support what I wrote this month about knowing what’s in the food you eat (see my posts on trans fats in Lawry’s Seasoned Salt and soy):

Decoding Labels: McCormick’s Pure Vanilla Extract

Dangers of Soy

You Have the Sunshine

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What Do You Think? Wednesday
When you have no human place to go you always have that spirit place, that place where you should travel first, right to the feet of Jesus. And this is where I found myself Monday night in my bed in tears with fist hitting my pillow after a day of blowing my nose raw, rallying boys for meals and away from melees, encouraging them to complete work, getting mom more ice cream and on and on and on. On this night, two days after spending the night in the hospital with my newly discovered asthmatic 2 year old, three days with scattered sleep and three days without a shower I cried out to God, told Him I was tired and I didn’t want to be sick and that I was spent from giving and giving and giving and what did I have? I just wanted to get some rest and eat some choice foods and I had none of these. What do I have?

Like only God can, with His infinite wisdom and considerate care for my needs, not just my wants, He said so gently, “You have the sunshine.” I immediately thought about the scripture that says God shines the sun on the evil and the good when Jesus was telling His disciples to have mercy on their enemies because He does (Matthew 5:44-45). I didn’t know what that had to do with me. So he repeated, “You have the sunshine” then somehow I knew God was saying I had something bigger, something better, something more than rest and choice foods that my weariness had me longing for. I had a magnanimous blessing that I could never get for myself. If I could see the sun, I had life. I am living and breathing enough to give me another chance to live life, to make it better, to take a shower, eat choice foods and sleep. I have sunshine (even when it’s tucked behind the clouds).

Remember, your days may be gloomy but you, too, have sunshine, a reminder that we are still here and have another chance to make life better.

What was a word God gave you, perhaps directly, through another person, in the Bible or some other reading, which gave you the perspective that you needed?

The Primacy of Marriage

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Living this life can be tough. We all have so many responsibilities that seeking to manage them all indeed is more than a full-time job. Juggling several responsibilities often leads to a high level of stress and can cause us to handle issues out of their proper order just to get them done. For recovering strong black women, who have traditionally made things happen their own way, following another’s design for order may not be something we are inclined to want to do. But God has an order for all things, including marriage, and expects us to follow. I am so grateful God has continually impressed on my heart the importance of marriage though I have stumbled at times with putting it first. Read more of what I have to say about the primacy of marriage, for married and single women, in my latest EEW Column, which begins below:

I wake up rushed many days, having slept longer than I wanted, keeping me from having a few hours alone before the children arise. On these days we rise within 20 minutes or so of each other because I have stayed up late hanging out with my night-owl hubby. This wasn’t always the case. While I worked hard in some areas to have a strong marriage, like seeking to be gentle in my speech, I was a stickler about going to bed at 9 p.m., well before Flynn wanted to call it a night.

I wanted to be able to wake up at 4 a.m. to have half the morning to myself to pray, study the Bible, clean the house and help my husband get off to work. I would spend the rest of the day pouring into the children and in the evening I was too wiped out to talk much beyond children updates, let alone have regular physical intimacy with my husband. Though my husband and I have always been good friends, I knew there was a level of closeness we didn’t have and I knew it was because we both had opted for me to rest from being so tired from giving to the children. Even on this “small” scale we, without even being conscious of it, were allowing the children to pull our marriage apart by putting their needs above our own.

Maybe you can relate to this because this happened to your parents or is happening to you. Most of your hours are spent doing for the children, carting them to this practice and that program, assisting with homework and engaging in the everyday life of nurturing children. Yes, our children need us, but we can’t put our children before our marriage, be that marriage to a spouse or, for single women, to God. And when Christian marriages are torn apart, the Kingdom of God is torn apart. Read more at EEW Magazine.

My One Thousand Gifts List
#541-550
Editing an article for a website
Skinning and seasoning chicken with amazing quickness
Flynn grocery shopping
Being able to iron Flynn’s clothes for church
Justus lying on my chest after nursing
Justus holding my finger, leading me to the den and not wanting to let go
Great, clear direction from God
A fast and informative blog post
An interview on the Chocolate Pages Network
Kamil picking up and babysitting the boys so I could go to court