Category Archives: Motherhood

Stability in an Unstable World

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

This world seems to be falling apart before our very eyes, but we’re still here and expected to thrive in spite of what we see. Psalm 11:3 says “if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Stand firm on God’s word and teach our children to do the same. Read my latest EEW post (that begins below) where I encourage parents to work to provide their children stability in this unstable world.


“Mommy, please don’t adopt us,” my nine year old said and then began to explain as he saw my brow raise and eye squint trying to figure out what he really meant. “I hope you don’t ever give us away. Please don’t,” he begged as he hugged me around my neck. He said this some months ago after hearing a presentation at my church that had just begun an adoption and orphan care ministry. That was the first time he heard about children being adopted and knew that it entailed someone giving away children and someone else taking them in. After I explained the general reasons why parents put their children up for adoption and that he and his brothers would be staying with us until somebody died, as long as I could help it, he smiled, settled down and started back playing with his brothers. Everything was once again well in his world.

I understand Joshua’s angst; it’s his desire for stability. This is a child’s nature. They like routine: the same stories; the same pajamas, the same “blankie,” the same route to school. Any change changes their world and they don’t seem to function quite so well. Such is the case with many of us. Our God is one of decency and order. He had an order for creation and sanctioned order for systems, including the family, the church, the workplace and the environment. When His ordained order goes awry, chaos ensues. Our God is a God of stability and expects us to do what we can to live in it and provide it for our offspring (Just a look at the Proverbs shows us this). But sometimes our world doesn’t go as planned. Divorce happens. Family members die. People lie.

But we as parents, in spite of life’s challenges, have been given the main role of providing stability for our children in the big and little things. Read more at EEW Magazine and tell me what you think.

Kingdom Perspective

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Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Today I am honored to honor the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., a prophetic voice for the masses, not just black folk but all folk who seek and need to seek human justice for all. Rev. King sought it and fought for it by giving his all, giving his life. I praise God for his selflessness, not cutting corners just so he could say he tried and then seek what was most comfortable for him. When situations get tough, giving up or half doing a job can be tempting. This is the case sometimes with us hard working mamas. I challenge you to read my latest column in EEW Magazine written to help mamas prone to cutting corners to the possible detriment of their children learn to fight for the next generation always with that generation in mind, much like Rev. King did. I salute this great American hero for embodying the Spirit of Christ and fighting to make life better for us all.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#401-410
Little girls with braided, beaded hair enjoying the sounds of it
Being at an Ebenezer AME church basketball game with Joshua supporting by brother as the coach
Seeing the school-aged cheerleaders and having nostalgic moments about my own cheering day
A mom kissing her son (about 12 years old) and his not being embarrassed to kiss her too
My children liking to be around me, even invading my space
Polishing my fingernails
Getting to church on time
Being able to remain in the sanctuary
Having no qualms about saying no when two people tried to recruit me for ministry I know I wasn’t suited for
Pulling together lunch for the family and enough for unexpected guests

Show Love

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Happy New Year! I hope you resolve to show more love this year.
Christmas was electrifying. The sparkling lights, the glistening snow (in most cases) and the holiday cheer that buzzes always has me in a glow. I love that time of the year when people seem friendlier, smile brighter, and folks are lending helping hands. I don’t know about you, but when December 26 hit, all that seemed to change. The buzz was silent. The sparkles fizzled. There was no Christmas music playing, no gracious sayings and fewer smiles. It was like someone had turned off the Christmas cheer switch and everyone had gone back to their self-focused lives. Well, for 2012 I declare that not so. I declare that we have Christmas cheer throughout the year. Let this be the beginning of a lifetime of years where throughout the year we graciously give of our time, talent and treasure to others, particularly those outside of the Christian faith. This is our mandate, always has been our mandate, but we seem to fall in line with the world’s way of helping someone only during the holidays. Let us teach our children to give charity, or love, throughout the year, right along with our regular routines. Read more at EEW Magazine.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#381-390
Getting a shower early
Cooking dinner before picking up Joshua
Getting a good progress report from Joshua’s teacher and hearing her say how his extracurricular exposure helps him with class discussions and his writings
Being able to sit here uninterrupted to write eight gifts
My husband telling me to take some alone time away from the house Saturday afternoon because I’ve been a great support to him in ministry the past two weeks
Listening to Ashmont Hill on TBN and being impressed to get their CD as a birthday gift for a friend
Getting a full night’s sleep
Feeling energized to start the day
Beginning the day with quiet time with the Lord
Preparing Joshua’s breakfast and his and Flynn’s lunch without feeling stressed

Kindness: The Key to Unity

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My 9 year old has expressed a real yearning for hearing from God. Still young in his faith (he accepted Jesus at 5), I told him that it takes time to discern the voice of God. “But how do you know when you hear him and it’s not just you talking to yourself?” “What a good question,” I said and told him that many adults ask that question and I’m glad that he is searching now so he won’t be on a lifetime journey. I gave him some typical ways to become sensitive to God’s voice, including becoming familiar with who God is by studying the Bible, recognizing that God uses people to give you a message, and understanding that God repeats messages when He wants you to pay attention to something. The repeated message way of hearing God’s voice happened Sunday morning when my pastor talked about the unity that is necessary in the Body of Christ to draw the world to Christ. This is the crux of my latest post in EEW Magazine.

I believe God is speaking in this hour that Christians need to pay attention to His command to be united. This is the way we win souls. United with God the Father, this is the way Christ won souls (John 10:24-30). Check out the post that begins below to see how you can foster brotherly kindness in your family to effect change in the Body of Christ and in the world:



We have heard these, maybe even said them ourselves, when our children don’t get along and are at each others’ throat: “These kids just can’t get along;” “It’s just sibling rivalry.” Maybe their behavior is sibling rivalry, but are we resigned that they won’t get along because they just can’t or do we just wait it out, expecting the conflict to go as the children grow? Parenting expert Abbey Waterman, a mother of eight and home educator for more than 20 years, says parents have to foster brotherly kindness in their children and not just expect it to happen.

“I didn’t let my children ‘have friends’ outside of the family until they could get along with each other,” said Waterman, whose children range in age from 23 to 6. “We would go to church and I would have them head straight to the car after service. They didn’t get the privilege of socializing with their friends at church.” She once made a bickering son and daughter share a room, forcing them to deal with each other and work out their issues. Today, the children are close.

Waterman’s tactics may seem extreme, but God expects us to go through radical means to get radical results. Read the rest here.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#361-370
Not having to cook dinner
My author copies of Daily Guideposts: Your First Year of Motherhood arriving in the mail
Strength to cook dinner after a long day
Keeping me safe without access to a phone
Getting my blog posted before going to get Joshua from school and after a morning at Dan’s funeral
My family enjoying my fried chicken
My family rejoicing over the devotional book arriving
Taking a nap
Flynn cleaning the kitchen and allowing me to take a nap
Good “cornbread” made with non-corn meal and spelt flour

Peril of No Patience

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“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance…” Galatians 5:22-23

This is the list every Christian is charged to achieve, to offer fresh fruit so others can receive of the Spirit of God, His salvation and refreshing. But the ripeness of my longsuffering has been suspect. In fact, sometimes my patience is just rotten and stinks. So as I teach my sons to be strong black biblical men I’m learning alongside them to consistently cease from taking charge in my strong black woman strength and allow God’s strength to empower me to walk in patience. I thank God for that opportunity. Read more about this in my latest EEW Magazine column.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#321-330
Tabitha watching the boys
Serving with Flynn at my first funeral
The smoothness of the funeral services
The thought-provoking and Christ-centered message of the eulogy
Witnessing the lover of the Tucker family
Janice Tucker inspiring me to be a loving mom
Having a deeper love for my family and seeing how the demonstration of it has caused them to demonstrate more love to me and each other and given the children more confidence
Nate and Justus being overjoyed to see me return from the funeral
Flynn picking Joshua up from school
Leftover meatloaf and hot water cornbread