Category Archives: Family

Parenting Partner & More

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Christen B. Johnson, more than my babysitter


I love this woman. My husband and boys do, too. We don’t know what we would do without her. Four years ago she started as my babysitter, but she is now a daughter, big sister, grace grower, an integral and intimate part of my family. She is the appendage I didn’t know was missing and sorely needed. I love this woman (Oh, I told you that!). I am so grateful for Christen B. Johnson, my glorious sweetheart! Read more in my latest EEW article, which begins below, about our relationship, how she has helped me beyond babysitting and how you, too, can be strengthened with parenting partnerships:

She came to me suddenly, unexpectedly with her bubbly way and smiling face. She had sat there in a center row, face focused front, but when I sat next to her she flashed me her 32s and my then 7 month old Nate clamored to be with her. We didn’t know her but she knew of me. She introduced herself and told me that she heard our women’s pastor mention me, knew that I was on maternity leave from ministry and had wondered who I was. Christen said she was single with no children and free to babysit my children anytime. I nodded and smiled. Even though I had just lost the help of another single woman with no kids who volunteered for six months to serve me and my family, mainly helping me with my newborn, it would take more than an introduction and a smile before I could trust this woman with my kids.

But after weeks of her offering and my desperation I invited this 24-year-old to have dinner with my family every Tuesday before our midweek services so we could get to know her. Immediately my boys liked her; my husband and I did, too, so I had her help me with the boys on Tuesdays and Sundays, the days my husband was fully engaged in ministry himself and I could supervise her interaction. Read the rest here.

My boys and Christen’s niece at the park with Christen


Nate at the library with Christen


Joshua playing ‘Ode to Joy’ on the pipes at the library with Christen


Justus at the library with Christen

My One Thousand Gifts List

#681-690
An invitation to contribute a cooking video to The Brand New Mommy Blog
Sharon rejoicing with me
Carla rejoicing with me
Flynn loading and running the dishwasher
Flynn calling Vince to produce my video
Vince being excited about producing my video
Children-initiated praise and worship
Nate blowing his trumpet in the corner toward the vase like he was making sure to praise God everywhere
A full night’s rest and early rising to have a rich time with God and a great start to prepare three meals
A clear outline for the parenting column

Stability in an Unstable World

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What Do You Think? Wednesday

This world seems to be falling apart before our very eyes, but we’re still here and expected to thrive in spite of what we see. Psalm 11:3 says “if the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Stand firm on God’s word and teach our children to do the same. Read my latest EEW post (that begins below) where I encourage parents to work to provide their children stability in this unstable world.


“Mommy, please don’t adopt us,” my nine year old said and then began to explain as he saw my brow raise and eye squint trying to figure out what he really meant. “I hope you don’t ever give us away. Please don’t,” he begged as he hugged me around my neck. He said this some months ago after hearing a presentation at my church that had just begun an adoption and orphan care ministry. That was the first time he heard about children being adopted and knew that it entailed someone giving away children and someone else taking them in. After I explained the general reasons why parents put their children up for adoption and that he and his brothers would be staying with us until somebody died, as long as I could help it, he smiled, settled down and started back playing with his brothers. Everything was once again well in his world.

I understand Joshua’s angst; it’s his desire for stability. This is a child’s nature. They like routine: the same stories; the same pajamas, the same “blankie,” the same route to school. Any change changes their world and they don’t seem to function quite so well. Such is the case with many of us. Our God is one of decency and order. He had an order for creation and sanctioned order for systems, including the family, the church, the workplace and the environment. When His ordained order goes awry, chaos ensues. Our God is a God of stability and expects us to do what we can to live in it and provide it for our offspring (Just a look at the Proverbs shows us this). But sometimes our world doesn’t go as planned. Divorce happens. Family members die. People lie.

But we as parents, in spite of life’s challenges, have been given the main role of providing stability for our children in the big and little things. Read more at EEW Magazine and tell me what you think.

Homeschool Attack

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What Do You Think? Wednesday



I’m 42. I’ve been saved 16 years, sold out for Jesus for 14, married for 13, and a mother for nine, and even with such experience I welcome advice, even that which is unsolicited. I know I don’t know everything and there are plenty of people older than I am who have been walking with Jesus, married and mothers longer and I know they simply know some things that perhaps I don’t. But let me tell you, I have had a hard time lately wanting to be gracious (though I have) to the people who balk at my husband’s and my decision to home educate our oldest son. These people have never home educated their children and have offered why homeschooling is bad for my child, including poor socialization, asked when I was going to put him in school and suggested I enroll him in good schools that they know of. Their unsolicited advice suggests the following that appall me:

1. World socialization is better than biblical socialization
2. My son would be happier at school than at home
3. That the ultimate goal of home education is institutional education
4. That any school outside of a home school is a better choice for my family
5. That any school outside of a home school will help my son reach his goals, no matter what they are
6. That they know my son better than my husband and I do
7. That they know what’s best for our family structure
8. That my husband and I were whimsical with our decision to home educate
9. That my husband and I didn’t hear from God
10. That, even with us not being in a crisis and them not having asked any questions for clarification, other humans know better for us than we do for ourselves; that humans know better than God

These implications, and many more, appall me because, quite frankly, I feel attacked. I recently read the tweet “There has to be a safe place for girls” in a brutal world that devalues their bodies and men do with them what they want. I say there has to be a safe place for all of us to be safe AND for those of us who are counterculture but not living in sin. There should be a safe place for us to make the Spirit-led decisions we need for the health and growth of our families. But, according to Scripture, this will not be the case. We will be persecuted for righteousness sake (Matthew 5:10; John 15:20). That’s it. I should expect nothing less. There is no ongoing Kumbaya experience for the Christian choosing to live a biblical Christian life, whether you home educate or not. You will be persecuted for whatever you do for righteousness’ sake. The question is “Are we going to reclaim our strong black woman ways to challenge those who challenge us or are we going to accept the attack and respond to educate not to annihilate?” Tell me your thoughts. What do you do when people attack you and your Spirit-led decisions?

Vacation Tribute

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For leisurely mornings and late-day breakfasts
Traveling roads of grass-feeding cows and streaked-clouded skies
Feeding giraffes and following red panda, other world animals, in our state’s backyard
For restaurants with vegetarian fare, swimming pools, play and rest
Time and talk with friends
Exchanging light-hearted banter, running dreams and plans past one another
Walking bodies, busily and lazily, at our choosing
Double-features at home and away
Long, late talks touching tummies and hearts
Melted ice cream on hands and cement porches
Laughing loud and hard at made up dances and other antics
The five of us, sometimes just two, cuddled up, snuggling real good
For this, our vacation, I am thankful.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#191-200
Early morning time with Nate enjoying his company
Being able to return Joshua’s clothes to JCPenny
Nate initiating playing with matching color and shape cards
Taking children to the library
Joshua finishing homework before 4:30 p.m.
Seein the children’s joy at being at the library
Sweet fellowship with God
Nate loving fruit
Nate wanting to mingle with the older children at the library
Flynn buying chicken so I didn’t have to cook dinner