Love Connection

Posted on October 21, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Last week’s blog entries dealt with Christians being kind—doing good and saying good things, from the heart—toward each other and those throughout the world. This topic won’t shake me loose as I continue to ponder on why God commanded us to be that way. Today I’m particularly stuck on what Christians should be and do for each other. I’ve listed 30 scriptures that command God’s people how to treat each other. These fall under the common heading of some “One Another” scriptures. I list these today so that you see what’s on my mind and so you, too, can ponder what your relationship should be like with other believers of Jesus Christ. As always, I welcome your thoughts:

1. Ye shall not steal, neither deal falsely, neither lie one to another (Leviticus 19:11)
2. Ye shall not therefore oppress one another; but thou shalt fear thy God: for I [am] the LORD your God (Leviticus. 25:17).
3. And ye shall take them as an inheritance for your children after you, to inherit [them for] a possession; they shall be your bondmen for ever: but over your brethren the children of Israel, ye shall not rule one over another with rigour (Leviticus. 25:46).
4. If I then, [your] Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet (John 13:14).
5. A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another (John 13:34).
6. [Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another (Romans 12:10). . .
7. [Be] of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits” (Romans 12:16).
8. Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another (Romans 14:19).
9. Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God (Romans 15:7).
10. And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another (Romans 15:14).
11. That there should be no schism in the body; but [that] the members should have the same care one for another (1 Corinthians. 12:25).
12. For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only [use] not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another (Galatians 5:17).
13. Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2).
14. With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love (Ephesians 4:2).
15. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).
16. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God (Ephesians 5:21).
17. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds (Colossians 3:9).
18. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord (Colossians 3:19).
19. Wherefore comfort one another with these words (1 Thessalonians 4:18).
20. Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do (1 Thessalonians 5:11).
21. But exhort one another daily, while it is called Today; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin (Hebrews 3:13).
22. And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some [is]; but exhorting [one another]: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching (Hebrews 10:24-25).
23. Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of [his] brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge (James 4:11).
24. Grudge not one against another, brethren, lest ye be condemned: behold, the judge standeth before the door (James 5:9).
25. Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much (James 5:16).
26. Finally, [be ye] all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, [be] pitiful, [be] courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:8-9).
27. Use hospitality one to another without grudging (1 Peter 4:9).
28. As every man hath received the gift, [even so] minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God (1 Peter 4:10).
29. Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all [of you] be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble (1 Peter 5:5).
30. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others (Philippians 2:4).

By Rhonda J. Smith

Unnatural Affection

Posted on October 9, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

As I pondered my lesson for the women’s ministry service this week for the “World is in Your Womb” series (lessons on motherhood) at my church, I continued to be struck with Pastor Renee’s notion of maternal vision and blind parenting. In my message I kept that theme going as I looked at the biblical mothers Jochebed (Moses’ mom) (Exodus 2:1-10) and Rebekah (Jacob and Esau’s mom) (Genesis 25:19-34; 27). Jochebed represented the one with maternal vision and Rebekah was the blind mother.

I found that Jochebed was selfless, because she was
1. Cooperative. She didn’t fight against what God showed her about Moses. She went out of her way to ensure the best for her son.
2. Concentrated. She maintained her focus on her plans to save Moses. She never gave up but continued to be diligent.
3. Careful. She was meticulous with her efforts. She took her time like a skilled craftsman.

Opposite Jochebed was Rebekah, who was selfish, because her efforts were
1. Comfortable. She did what felt good to her.
2. Convenient. She did what came easy for her. She didn’t trust God with the unknown but worked to make prophecy come to pass in her own strength.
3. Calculating. She spent a great amount of time figuring out how to scheme, a method that was within her reach.

So though we must strive to be like Jochebed, there are a lot of reasons we fail and are blind mothers. Pastor Renee outlined these practical reasons in her blog post on Monday, which is definitely where Rebekah fell, but I want us to consider spiritual implications:

“This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away” (2 Timothy 3:1-5) (italics mine).

So while we are working hard against our natural selfish tendencies, we must also work hard against our two other enemies, the world and the devil. These perilous times have come and mothers now lack “natural affection” for their children. A mother should naturally want her children, care for her children, fight for her children, and raise her children to be the best they can be. But this lacking of natural affection has entered our cultural landscape, has spread into Christianity, and has made many of us challenge the biblical notions of nurturing our children. What we are up against is more than a flesh and cultural war but a spiritual battle that only God’s word can equip us to handle. Timothy tells us to “turn away” from people who don’t have natural affection. This includes you turning away from the you that lacks natural affection and seeking God to restore to you what is essentially your birthright as a mother.

So I urge you mothers to gird your loins with truth, and put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand Satan’s schemes that have duped many of us to believe that it’s okay to be a Rebekah and too much work to be a Jochebed (Ephesians 6:10-18). Don’t fall for his lies but believe that God can restore to you natural affection for your children so you raise them to be the godly seed that they are supposed to be.

Maternal Vision

Posted on October 5, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Welcome my guest blogger, my pastor and friend Renee M. Carr, who will talk more about what it means to have maternal vision.

By Pastor Renee M. Carr

Too many women don’t recognize that they have the world in their womb, meaning the children they bear will impact the world, whether for good or for bad. As Christian women, we must recognize this reality and work to make sure that our children will make an impact on this world to the glory of Jesus Christ.

To help birth spiritually nurtured children who will affect change for God’s glory in the earth, mothers must have maternal vision. In Rhonda’s last post, she defined my notion of maternal vision as perceiving by any of your senses what must be done with your child; to have regard for and to cherish them; in essence, the ability to see what your child can become and, therefore, understand what needs to be done to help him or her to that point. Having maternal vision is the starting point for spiritual nourishment, but many women can’t begin because blind parenting is blocking their vision.

Blind parenting is interacting with your child but having no sense of who they will become (not seeing them) and, therefore, not knowing what to do to help them get there. It is the opposite of maternal vision. In order to not be a blind mother, you must work against the following:

1) Being a lazy mom, constantly delegating your maternal role to others. This could be an older child, grandparent or television. A good way to tell if you’re lazy is if you find yourself dropping off your child more than taking your child with you.

2) Lacking priority and education. You don’t prioritize the spiritual welfare of your children. You may give greater emphasis to non-spiritual activities, such as sports. And chances are you have never read a book on parenting or child development.

3) Being ill-focused or lacking balance of perspective. Focusing too much or too little attention on your child’s weaknesses or strengths or constantly prioritizing one child above the other are examples of being ill-focused or lacking balance of perspective.

4) Being spiritually, emotionally and mentally immature. When you have not developed in these three
areas, nine times out of 10 you will teach your children how to be spiritually, emotionally and mentally immature.

If at the heart of your character you are lazy, lack priority, education and balance of perspective, and are spiritually, emotionally and mentally immature, you are at risk for aborting your children whether physically or their purposed destiny. I know some of you reading this may have had a physical abortion. Please know that if you have repented, God has forgiven you. Receive His grace (1 John 1:9). If you haven’t repented, please know that God is there for you and wants to provide you with forgiveness. Please repent. And if you suspect that you have aborted your child’s purposed destiny, God wants you to repent, too. Now is the time to seek to have maternal vision so you don’t continue to alter any more of God’s plans for them.

In order to see who your children can become, do the following:

1) Cherish the basic and complex call to parenting (See Nurture Your Children).

2) Operate in faith. Just like Moses’ mom saw that he wasn’t an ordinary child, you too must see that your children are unique (Hebrews 11:23).

3) Pray. You need to constantly get wisdom from the Holy Spirit.

4) Spend quality time with your children. Know their likes and dislikes. Know who their friends are. Inquire about their academic development. Take them places they love and to new places to explore. Have bible study with them.

5) Obtain knowledge about child development. Study biblical material and apply them. Some good sources are “Growing Kids God’s Way” by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo, “What the Bible Says About Child Training” by Richard Fugate and “The New Strong-Willed Child” by James Dobson.

6) Sacrifice and be positive about the sacrifice. People don’t need to hear you talk about being a martyr for your children. Realize that sacrifice is a part of motherhood and get to work.

By the grace of God, women, we can have maternal vision and set our children on a spiritually righteous course from our wombs to impact the entire world.

This was developed from the sermon series “The World in Your Womb” by Renee M. Carr, women’s pastor of Evangel Ministries, Detroit, MI. To get copies of the series, visit www.evangelministries.org or call 313-836-7732.

Benefits of Nurturing Children

Posted on September 30, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

I know the Bible says not to be weary in well-doing, but I was just about in sin today because I am worn out from nurturing children, which is a good thing. Doing so from 1-4 a.m. is not a good thing, at least not for my flesh. My one year old awoke with a scream. I held him and brought him to my bed, thinking he was afraid from a scary dream and just needed to be with his parents. But he babbled for an hour and then said, “apple,” his catchall phrase for “I’m hungry.” After feeding him two bananas and water, his squirming in my bed and my putting him back in his bed, he finally fell asleep in my bed in the 4 o’clock hour. At some point in all of this my seven year old came into the room to say that he couldn’t breathe. My husband gave him some medicine, and we all fell asleep, hard, missing the 5:45 alarm and me rising at 6:18 in a panic to get my husband and son up and ready to go to work and school.

After ironing clothes and preparing breakfast and lunch, they were on track and would still be on time. But right before eating breakfast, my seven-year-old tells us for the first time about a boy bullying him at school, so we have to pray, counsel, encourage and coach him to fortify him to go to school. His countenance was lifted and he went to school with confidence. But mama is worn out from nurturing, and I am, frankly, a bit numb. But I know this is the time that I must remember why God called me to nurture my children and the benefits of doing so.

When you nurture your children—teaching and correcting them with biblical principles, showing them affection and genuine concern for their welfare and providing for their needs—the Bible promises the following:

I can’t promise that you will never grow weary in nurturing, but I know that God’s word is true, and you will reap the harvest above if you don’t grow weary. So keep your call to nurture and the benefits of doing so in the front of your mind and surely you will have the incentive you need to press on to do this great work in your children’s lives.

10 Ways to Nurture Your Husband

Posted on September 25, 2009 by Rhonda J. Smith

Invest in Yourself

1. Make a commitment to be a biblical wife. This commitment should be made first and foremost because God calls you to be one. To strengthen this commitment, read God’s word on the matter, study biblically-sound Christian materials, and refer to my blog, including the two previous posts in this series. Wanting to please God and understanding the impact behind obeying Him make the commitment easier to keep.
2. Examine your fruit. See what areas of the Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) that you need to work on and do it. You can have a heart’s desire to do and understand God’s will, but if your fruit is rank, you will only be able to offer spoiled goods that have no nutritious value for your husband.
3. Take time for yourself. You cannot, I repeat—CANNOT— keep nurturing others and not pour into yourself. Even Jesus took time away from the crowd to be alone with God the Father. You must stop your work and pause the nurturing to get nurtured yourself. Do what you enjoy that will refresh your soul and spirit and enable you to joyfully give to others.

Invest in His Body

4. Show him affection. Initiate kissing him every time you enter each other’s presence. Make love to him even when you don’t feel like it; ask God for strength to help you nurture your husband sexually. Remember, it’s on him if he strays, but it’s up to you not to give him a “reason” to (See “Wife Addition”).
5. Make him comfortable by pampering his body. Some men don’t like manicures and pedicures or even massages, but you know what makes his body feel good. Whatever it is, do it.
6. Make his atmosphere comfortable so he feels comfortable. Create a welcoming environment in your home so he wants to be there. Keep it clean, beautiful (make sure you have some masculine touches, too) and smelling good with food and other delightful fragrances. Declare your home to be a cozy and combat-free zone.

Invest in His Spirit
7. Pray for him. Do this alone and in his presence. He doesn’t always have to pray with you, but make sure you bless him daily and on those special occasions.
8. Share with him scriptures that you have studied that remind you of his strength of character or will otherwise encourage him. Tell him why you are sharing that scripture.
9. Fast for him. Sometimes you see your husband in warfare or he is having a hard time making a tough decision. Fast for him to help his breakthrough come.

Invest in His Emotions

10. All of the above no doubt will positively impact your husband’s emotions, but make sure to also intentionally watch your mouth (Psalm 141:3). This means for us to watch the bad that comes out of our mouths, but we need to ask God to also help us watch for the good that should come out of our mouths. Plan good things to communicate to your husband not just with what you say but even with what you write to him. Dote on him with spoken and written words that you share daily. Why not be like Sara and call him lord (with a little ‘l’)? He is the master of the house; surely you can reverence him as such.

Of course there is a lot more I could say, but I think you understand where I’m coming from. Invest in yourself and make sure you know your husband so you can tailor your investment to his body, spirit and emotions. Nurturing him will surely help him to be the man God has called him to be.

Musings of a (Recovering) Strong Black Woman

Category Archives: Definitions

Love Connection

Unnatural Affection

Maternal Vision

Benefits of Nurturing Children

10 Ways to Nurture Your Husband