Category Archives: Multitudes on Mondays

Demand Justice

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Today marks one month and the killer of 17-year-old unarmed Trayvon Martin still has not been arrested. His killer, George Zimmerman, admitted to shooting Martin, but his cry of self-defense seems to have more weight than the death of an innocent boy who seemed like he “was up to no good.” Today folks are gathering across the nation in solidarity to demand justice for the death of a boy whose crime appears to be walking while black in a hoodie. One writer wants to know why hasn’t the public been as outraged over the deaths of other young black people before Martin. To him I say my outrage over Trayvon’s death is more demonstrative because of the utter disbelief that this case has a host of witnesses and an admitted killer who is still roaming free; my demand is that law enforcement agents do what is basic. There’s no need to search for the killer or the weapon. The police know where he lives and what gun he owns. With a case so cut and dry, I cannot understand the wavering except to say the delay seems to be a statement of the devaluation of Martin’s life, of black life, and that needs to change for all. Martin’s case has made people stand to say enough is enough and we won’t take it anymore. All of us, including Christians, have to demand justice and do so in whatever way the Lord leads us. I thank God that His word is chock full of scriptures that require us to fight for those who’ve been done wrong. We have our blueprint. Let us implement the plans. Read my latest EEW article that begins below that gives us ways to fight and to teach our children to fight injustice.



The sweet-faced boy popped up on my computer screen, well at least his picture, the only vision I have of Trayvon Martin, the 17-year-old shot in cold blood by a self-appointed neighborhood watchman in Florida last month. My son was there, sitting by my side, wanting to know who this boy was and why he was on the computer. How do you explain to a 9-year-old that a boy that looks like him, plays like him, is carefree like him, was just walking down the street with some candy and iced tea, got killed just for being him? How do you explain to your boy that a likely fate for him could be the same as that for Trayvon while we live in this crazy mixed up world? How do you tell your black son that to some being a black boy is a threat that many want to get rid of?

I told him straight, no chaser because nothing can chase the lack of respect for other humans, for black boys in particular, out of this situation and he needed to know that. Joshua needed to know that some people think being a black boy is a crime and law enforcement agents seem to do what they can to put away those who commit that crime. While sharing these harsh realities of living while black, I reminded him that he was beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made black boy, and that God committed no crimes with His creation. The great crime in George Zimmerman killing Trayvon Martin is the lack of respect for authority that has been revealed. While we teach our children about injustices and how to seek justice, I believe they need to understand God’s purpose for authority and how the Bible teaches us to engage those in authority, including when they are wrong. When we violate God’s law of authority, as George Zimmerman did, situations go horribly wrong, even criminal, like with Trayvon Martin. Read the rest here.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#501-510
A leisure day of rest
Charyse bringing me birthday gifts of a card, nail polishes, earrings and hair grooming
Being able to visit a friend to show our love and support as he grieves the death of his mom
Flynn snuggling with me and saying how he’s still smitten after 14 years
Watching episode three of Wives and Daughters
Making it to see another birthday
A gift of an iPad cover and keyboard from Flynn
Thoughtful birthday cards
A revelation about feeding my spirit when I literally want to feed my flesh (eat)
An overwhelming amount of birthday wishes and gifts (including nail polishes I like but would never have ventured to buy for myself)

Heaviness Lifted

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Ever lose something and have to call out a search crew to find it? That was the case Saturday when I couldn’t find my water bottle. Anyone who knows me knows that you rarely see me without my 32 ounce bottle. I refill it throughout the day to make sure I get more than half my body weight in ounces of water. To no avail, three of us couldn’t find my bottle and I had to leave the house without it or chance being late to an event. I felt lost without it. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I kept reaching in the car cup holder and it wasn’t there. I just kept feeling that something was missing. When I returned home I looked again and, thank God, I found my water bottle. After recovering it I felt secure; I felt myself again. The same way I felt without my water bottle—that something essential for my life—is the same way I feel when I lose anything I need, including God’s favor.

Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors. For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the LORD, but he who fails to find me injures himself; all who hate me love death (Proverbs 8:33-36).

On July 7, 2010 I lost God’s favor—his pleasure in or delight with me—in one area. This was the day God shared with me three points I needed to share with a friend in an area of her struggle. On that day, or soon after, I shared with her two of the three points. I rationalized that she got the message with the two that I shared and giving her the third would have been overkill, killing her spirit and possibly ending my ability to share with her on that level again. I felt good with what I shared but wondered if she needed to know that last point. On Friday in prayer God made clear that I had to share that point with her, that I “punked out” before and I couldn’t do so this time. Though I was nervous and though she was taken aback that I kept something from her for almost two years, I got out what I failed to share as she shook her head in agreement and said “un, un, un. I receive that.” She then scolded me for holding back something that “I could have been working on for two years.”

After apologizing and committing to never again hold back, I felt free, a great burden lifted that I didn’t even know was weighing me down. Almost immediately I had a great urgency to throw myself into the work of the Lord, something I hadn’t experienced in a while, perhaps two years, perhaps since July 7, 2010 when I received instruction but was unwise by choosing to neglect what I had been instructed to do. That July I lost my blessing for ignoring wisdom, lost favor from God, bringing to myself harm—a lack of joyful motivation to fulfill God’s call on my life, a death of my soul. I had lost God’s favor and didn’t even know I had. But God, who is rich in mercy, doesn’t want to withhold any good thing from me and wants me to choose life, sent out a search party of one—Himself—to dig into my heart to show me that His favor was missing (Ephesians 2:4, Psalm 84:11, Deuteronomy 30:19, Psalm 139:23-24). He wanted to show me that He was not pleased that I was disobedient when He told me clearly what He wanted me to tell my friend. Even in His displeasure God told me what I needed to do to please Him in this area again and He hasn’t stopped blessing me in other areas over the last 20 months. For His great love for me, being mindful of me even in my shortcomings and showing me my version of control was out of control, I am eternally grateful.

My One Thousand Gifts List

491-500
Witnessing a loving family
Cleaning my house without feeling stressed
A rich discipleship meeting full of aha moments
A surprise visit from Sharon (my minister sister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ) and her adding to the richness of my discipleship meeting
One disciple’s comment when learning Sharon was dropping by the meeting: “I looked forward to discipleship. Now I get a double portion.”
A normally reserved discipleship group member opening up during the meeting
My discipleship group celebrating my birthday with food, cake and a Blue Nile gift certificate
Having a rich meeting even while having to manage the children
How Flynn and I support each other in such an easy fashion
Sleeping in

Been There, Done That

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“Been there, done that.” I don’t know who originated that saying but it bothers me. I admit that I am guilty of having used the phrase myself, but stopped after people have used it in conversations with me that seem belittling. Most times folks’ use of the colloquialism was not the thought of “I can’t go back into that foolishness” but the declaration of “You’re still there? I’m past that stage.” People who are conquerors, recovering strong black women among them, sometimes forget that as Christians we are MORE than conquerors but only so through Jesus Christ (Romans 8:37). He deserves the credit for every hurdle we jump, every river we roll through, and every storm we survive, for us being alive. “Been there, done that” just seems to place the focus on us and not God who has worked through us. Maybe it’s just me, but you can read more about my thoughts in my latest EEW article where I discuss people’s use of “Been there, done that” in the context of parenting and a suggested biblical response for handling those who use the phrase to belittle you. The column focus is on parenting but has broader applications. Read it and make your comments here on the blog or feel free to comment on the magazine site. I am thankful for a God-given response to “Been there, done that” belittlement so I can maintain my Christian testimony even in this area.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#481-490
Leslie’s book of poems arriving in the mail
Dinner with friends to celebrate my birthday at Benihana
My wonderful husband for planning my birthday celebration (his first time in 14 years)
Flowers from the Criners, bringing a touch of spring in my home
My iPhone arriving
A letter from Daniel (a thank you note and a small picture)
Studying 2 Peter 1 early and getting an outline for the discipleship lesson
Josh and Nate using their manners with and helping each other
Getting my blog done without stress
Visiting a friend at the hospital

Job Inadequacy

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“We are not the Holy Spirit so therefore inadequate to do His job.” This came to mind one day when I was trying to figure out what to do and the how to do of something. It was enormous, way above my head, but I contemplated handling it, taking it on MYSELF. As I worked, trying to finagle a process, my process, those words came to me: “We are not the Holy Spirit so therefore inadequate to do His job.” Grief and relief were my simultaneous responses, revealing the duality of my struggle. Wanting, really, to be God (though I never set out to be) and happy that I was not God. I was upset that I couldn’t handle my God-sized task and comforted that I couldn’t so I didn’t have to. This undoubtedly is a great issue in the life of recovering strong black women, all women (men, too), who have frequently counted on their strength above God’s. Tough work doesn’t easily scare us; we want to tackle the problem, wrestle it down, make it surrender to our will and leave us with arms raised in victory. But we are not always called to this, though this fight is our natural default. Natural default—our fault of nature, the sin nature preset to automatically tackle nature with our nature.
So we are told

  • to operate according to the Spirit so we don’t operate according to our nature (Galatians 5:16);
  • to declare our nature dead so the Spirit in us lives (Romans 6:11);
  • to not snuff out the Holy Spirit in us in preference to our nature (1 Thessalonians 5:19);
  • to remember that when our nature is weak, God is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9); and
  • to know that our fight is spiritual, not physical (2 Corinthians 10:3-5),

so that God can shine boldly through us. The challenge now is to constantly battle my nature, tackle and wrestle it down, keep it there so I can declare victory in the Spirit. I thank God that though my struggle is real, I have supernatural words that can do a supernatural work in me to accomplish what God would have manifest through me. Much more could be said….until another time…

My One Thousand Gifts List

#471-480
Flynn letting me wear his hat because I didn’t have one
Compliments on my new Facebook picture
Flynn loading the dishwasher
The realization that I don’t first greet God in the morning
God waking me up in spite of my sins
Tabitha watching the children in the morning AND evening
Attending Joshua’s Black History Month program
A play date with Nate and Jackson and talking to Kim
Mrs. Fisher waiting with Joshua until I arrived to pick him up
A beautiful birthday card from Nichole

Release the Secret, Release the Pain

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There are deep dark secrets no one wants to talk about. We’ve all had them and may have believed sharing was forbidden. Shame says we are to blame. Peace takes a back seat to shame and has us wearing our feelings on soul’s edge, always there ready to direct us, keep us in bondage. After all, strong black women have to keep it together even if we’re in prison. Well, I know prison was never meant for me so I let my secrets out. They ran from me and into the arms of those who needed to embrace my story to help them release theirs. When I let my secrets loose so too went my soul, and others’, free from the enemy’s lies about who I am and what I’ll never be.

Freedom is sweet when you can speak the truth and not allow what happened define you in a negative light. The future is always bright for believers in Christ, for faith stands and provides penetrating light for needed transparency. This is the case, I believe, with my latest EEW column that begins below on protecting our children from sexual abuse. Please read, glean and offer your insights and questions in the magazine comment section. As always, please feel free to comment here on the blog, too.




She didn’t think anyone would believe her. He told her this, said they would believe it was her fault, that she wanted to play their game, that she would shame her name. So she shrunk in silence, only the tears crying out her pain during their touching game. Maybe the abuse occurred a few times, but she was forever changed.

We have heard this before. Some sexual predator targets a child, our child, and we find out about the abuse long after it stops. Our once outgoing child now seems nervous and scared. Perhaps she doesn’t want to visit with a certain relative, is acting out in school, is sexually active or is chronically depressed. We don’t understand the behavior, then the child finally reveals the unmentionable happened to her. Maybe it was her father, stepfather, uncle, cousin, pastor or his neighbor. Little girls and boys are being sexually abused right in our midst. Somehow some of us don’t think it’s supposed to happen to us. We’re good church folks and this doesn’t happen, shouldn’t be happening, to us. So when the abuse occurs some of us perpetuate the cover up. We don’t want it said that it happened to our family. Then some of us are unknowingly complicit; we sit in silence because we just don’t know what to do. Read the rest at EEW Magazine.

My One Thousand Gifts List

#461-470
Showering and dressing the boys without stress
A meeting that provided much-needed revelation
Having a breakthrough moment with a friend who challenged me to interrupt her to talk about me when she is talking incessantly about herself
Folding all and putting away most of the laundry
A shower before Justus awoke and without interruption from Nate
Devotion time early with Nathaniel
Visiting my grandfather and giving him water and reading John 1 to him
Attending Science Night at Joshua’s school and hearing him say, “I wish we could stay here. I’m loving this.”
All the boys competing then taking turns to kiss Flynn
Carla calling to check on me