My morning burst forth like a classic night terror movie scene. With crisp precision, my eyes popped opened, scanned the room and wondered why I saw him, felt that way and what I was doing there. We just talked, but nothing about the encounter was holy and I hesitated about leaving, wondered what life would have been like if our paths hadn’t diverged. At that moment I woke up, transported back to reality and left with a memory of what happens when we allow ourselves to “go there.”
We go to our past, pick up the scraps and try to piece them to our present, not recognizing we are jeopardizing our now and future. We are Lot’s wife, knowing we have—even being forced—to leave our old way yet looking longingly back and finding that the look paralyzes us (Genesis 19:26). We are a pillar of salt, a lump, unable to make moral decisions even though God has saved us. He came into our cities of sin, told us where to go and why, but we want to stay. So we become an unusable seasoning, salted by God to create great flavor in the world but our turning keeps us from being sprinkled (Matthew 5:13). Still belonging to God He again steps in to save us, sending us a dream, a friend, a song, a verse, a sermon, anything to warn us to not go there, to come away from there so we don’t wreck our lives.
Whatever place you have a yearning to go that will threaten your life, protect yourself before you turn back. Get an accountability partner, avoid triggers (like listening to certain songs or hanging with certain people) and dwell on the right thoughts, with the right people and in the right places (Philippians 4:8, 1 Corinthians 15:33; Psalm 91). We recovering strong black women need to do these things because so often we think we are strong then we fail (1 Corinthians 10:12). Even if we struggle, we must remember God is faithful and will jolt us back to reality, saving us from needless heartache and helping us maintain our ability to sprinkle the world with our flavor just as He intended (1 Corinthians 10:13).
My One Thousand Gifts List
#241-250
Joshua’s stomach feeling better
A self-inspiring blog
Sharing One Thousand Gifts with Christen and seeing her moved by it
Reading Nichole’s essay and her excitement about writing again
Getting my two books by Priscilla Shirer
Swiftly reconciling with my sister after reacting to an old offense
Feeling free after confessing my fault to my sister
Running with Joshua
Playing Hangman with Joshua
Playing the Matching game with Joshua and Nathaniel as Justus ate an apple and watched us
