A few years ago I saw a cartoon that showed a husband coming home from work to a house in complete disarray from garbage strewn on the front lawn with kids in the mud in their pajamas to toys, spills, a loud TV, an open refrigerator and a dog missing in the house. He walked past more mess and piles of clothes to find his wife, a stay-at-home mom, lounging in her pajamas reading. He asked her what happened. She replied, “‘You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?’ ‘Yes,’ was his incredulous reply. She answered, ‘Well, today I didn’t do it.’” Her husband immediately knew the importance of what a stay-at-home does all day and what happens when one whose house is orderly doesn’t do her job. Though my house wasn’t this chaotic before I took my blogging break, some of my job didn’t get done and Flynn, my husband, witnessed this and had my back.

Dwell with her according to knowledge—1 Peter 3:7

Before my blogging break, I got sick. I didn’t know if I was pregnant or if my monthly appointment that I hadn’t had since being pregnant with Justus had resumed. All I knew is for one month I was tired and bloated and fell asleep mid-sentence and frequently missed planning or preparing meals because I didn’t realize the lateness of the hour when I was hooked into the matrix trying to meet my writing deadlines. Flynn understood. He knew I wasn’t a trifling homemaker so he showed me grace. Off from his regular teaching job for the summer, he has been busy with the ministry. He’d cook some days, order in some days and when he wasn’t available to help me, he’d call in some help on those days. And those days that I’d be drooling instead of speaking, he’d make me go to bed and say, “We’ll figure out something for dinner” or “The dirty floor isn’t going to kill us.” He didn’t force me to cancel discipleship meetings or cease answering counseling calls because “you gotta do those things. They’re not an option,” he’d say.

Love is kind—1 Corinthians 13:4

While on my blogging break, still big and bloated, I was able to keep up with cleaning and meals, two major responsibilities of my main job as a homemaker. My break from writing allowed me to physically keep my house. But I’m glad my husband sees me beyond being a homemaker. Flynn knows that God has called me to be a homemaker but also a minister to women through discipleship, counseling and writing and has not once told me that I shouldn’t be doing any of these. He would have that right, you know, as head of the house if he thought those activities interfered with my main one of keeping the home. But he’s a man that sees these callings as integral to keeping the home. He knows that having a satisfied wife makes for a happy home, his being in good standing with me and with God for not blocking any of my callings. Yes, this (recovering) strong black woman needs her husband. He knows what I need and kindly makes sure I get it in spite of and even because of my rough homemaker days. My guy’s a keeper and I’m going to do all I can to show him I’m glad he’s mine.

Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith