What Do You Think? Wednesday
I’m 42. I’ve been saved 16 years, sold out for Jesus for 14, married for 13, and a mother for nine, and even with such experience I welcome advice, even that which is unsolicited. I know I don’t know everything and there are plenty of people older than I am who have been walking with Jesus, married and mothers longer and I know they simply know some things that perhaps I don’t. But let me tell you, I have had a hard time lately wanting to be gracious (though I have) to the people who balk at my husband’s and my decision to home educate our oldest son. These people have never home educated their children and have offered why homeschooling is bad for my child, including poor socialization, asked when I was going to put him in school and suggested I enroll him in good schools that they know of. Their unsolicited advice suggests the following that appall me:
1. World socialization is better than biblical socialization
2. My son would be happier at school than at home
3. That the ultimate goal of home education is institutional education
4. That any school outside of a home school is a better choice for my family
5. That any school outside of a home school will help my son reach his goals, no matter what they are
6. That they know my son better than my husband and I do
7. That they know what’s best for our family structure
8. That my husband and I were whimsical with our decision to home educate
9. That my husband and I didn’t hear from God
10. That, even with us not being in a crisis and them not having asked any questions for clarification, other humans know better for us than we do for ourselves; that humans know better than God
These implications, and many more, appall me because, quite frankly, I feel attacked. I recently read the tweet “There has to be a safe place for girls” in a brutal world that devalues their bodies and men do with them what they want. I say there has to be a safe place for all of us to be safe AND for those of us who are counterculture but not living in sin. There should be a safe place for us to make the Spirit-led decisions we need for the health and growth of our families. But, according to Scripture, this will not be the case. We will be persecuted for righteousness sake (Matthew 5:10; John 15:20). That’s it. I should expect nothing less. There is no ongoing Kumbaya experience for the Christian choosing to live a biblical Christian life, whether you home educate or not. You will be persecuted for whatever you do for righteousness’ sake. The question is “Are we going to reclaim our strong black woman ways to challenge those who challenge us or are we going to accept the attack and respond to educate not to annihilate?” Tell me your thoughts. What do you do when people attack you and your Spirit-led decisions?
“What do you do when people attack you and your Spirit-led decisions?”
Now, that’s a good question. In my former “strong black woman” days, I would be sure to let them know (in a nice way, lol) what I thought and “why” they needed to know that what I was doing was right. By God’s design, I am a “black and white,” kind of person; I see things as either right or wrong… no grey. So, if someone challenged me, I would be sure to “persuade” them to the right direction, which would be what I knew to be right.
Now, as a “strong Biblical Believer,” I have learned to shut my mouth and open my heart… to prayer. Through various experiences, I have learned that only the Lord can “turn the King’s heart” (Proverbs 21:1), and if He let me encounter people like this, then there was something that He wanted me to “see” and respond with prayer (first) and if the He gave me the green light, a re-education session for them.
Many times when someone blatantly attacks you, if could be because they let the enemy use them and/or they feel deficient looking at you and respond in attack as a defense mechanism against their own insecurities/failures.
To be honest, especially for parents who give their “opinion,” against home education, they may be just plain old ignorant because they just don’t know; they could be jealous and envious because they really want what you have, but would rather attack than admit, and/or they could be scared/fearful, to obey God as boldly as you have because it seems uncomfortable or inconvenient.
This was a great post and inspired me to be sure add this topic to my Start At Home Series. I will be sure to link your post. Fantastic! 🙂
Ajene,
Thanks for replying. It’s always good to hear from others what their experiences have been. You are right about shutting our mouths and waiting for God to lead us. One woman did tell me she wish she could home educate but she didn’t have that choice; her life wouldn’t allow her to do so. Reflecting on your reasons why people attack helped me to recall that and to know that people have their own reasons why they challenge your decisions, whatever they may be.
I look forward to your post. BTW, I’ve been enjoying your Start at Home series (though I am two posts behind). I’ll comment soon.
i try to remember that “a gracious woman retains honor” and that the virtuous woman is one who “opens her mouth with wisdom, and the law of kindness is on her tongue.” also, wisdom is a gift from God, free for the asking, graciously given. so i ask. <3 God grant you abundant grace and peace, dear sister.
Thank yo so much for this, Tammie. I appreciate your godly wisdom and encouragement.