What Do You Think? Wednesday
In the early morning hours trying to put me and some projects to bed I told God “I can’t do this” as I folded laundry while I waited for double-sided papers to come through the printer. This was 2 a.m. when I was still organizing activities so my expanding writing and speaking ministry fit with my ever so steady wife and mommy ministry. Holding up a towel, I said, “I’m good doing this. I can do this. I know how to do this.” Then in my spirit I knew that was the problem. I’m comfortable in my homemaking role and that of supporting my husband and caring for my children. This I have done full-time for five and a half years, the last three with very little outside of the home ministry. But God has shifted me and I feel that shift in my spirit. I know it’s time to move beyond my walls and blog; I have to follow God’s call, even—especially—when it seems impossible. He operates there, wanting His strength to be made perfect in our weakness so we know just who did what we did (2 Corinthians 12:9). I exist for God’s glory (Revelation 4:11). I must follow His story for my life. How about you?
In what ways have you been hesitant to move beyond your comfort zone and into the greater things God has for you?
Copyright 2011 by Rhonda J. Smith
Wow, I just had the same conversation with the Lord. I know I can’t do any of it. I am older and I get tired faster. At 47, I can’t keep up with my 5 year old, nor my 11 yr old’s tournament baseball season, my 14 year old’s two jobs and his baseball season, my 16 year old’s work schedule, theatre schedule, and the bible clubs they lead, my daughter in South Africa, My 23 year old’s decision to save the world and have them all over Indian food, my 20 year old’s plans to administrate a revival at Oakland University through a prayer ministry while preparing herself to finance the work of the kingdom, and my husbands changing love needs ( last because it baffles me the most). Oh yea, my 19 yr son told me he thinks he wants to get married next year. When I add teaching teen age mom classes, marketing parent-led discipleship, prayer ministry, leading a missions organization and EACH (revival), I drown, shrivel, and die. All I can say is that all that stuff belongs to him and I lay it on His altar regularly.
I wonder? Did he give all this stuff to me to get me to His altar……….? Am I that hard headed and falsely self-sufficient…………..? Yes, I am. I guess I need to make some changes, again. Hey, reading and responding to this blog was as fruitful as a quiet time. Thank you Lord.
Thanks Rhonda.
Abbey,
You definitely could have written today’s post. With your children’s varied activities and your own you could be sitting in a corner somewhere with your hands thrown up. I’m so glad you recognize that there is NO way you are able to manage you, eight children and cater to your husband’s needs. You are a true example of a strong Biblical woman.
Yes I can do this by the power of the Holy Spirit. I thank God for my strength comes from Him. He is in control of my life and I must be obedient to His guidance. I thank Him for the strength He has given me to go forth when I want to go and hide. I know if I hide who will hear the gospel, who will be healed, who will know He is a deliverer, who will know He is able to do all things in us for His glory. So when I feel I can’t do this! I must remember no I can’t, but God can.
Melissa,
Thanks for letting us in on your thought process. You have given us a mantra that we can recite to have in our spirits so we know whose strength we have. Thank you.
I KNOW the “appropriate” answer… I think we all do, but at this moment, as vulnerable as I am with tears welling up in my eyes.. I can’t lie to myself and give the “politically correct Christian” answer. So my answer changes to the truth of my right now, and I can’t help but speak the truth of where I am in this moment. He is breaking me, breaking me, breaking my heart…again! He is shattering me, stripping me, and tearing me down. He is crushing me, chastening me, changing me…over and over again. He is weakening me…so that HE can be my strength. “I” CAN’T do this! But He CAN do it through me.
I hesitate, because the uncomfortable is just that…not very comfortable for me, and the unknown is just that…what I really don’t know. I need Him more now, than when I first believed. I need the wisdom of my Father’s Holy Spirit, because knowledge and understanding fail me. I need to trust, despite my hesitations… press, despite my reservations… and believe despite intimidation from my flesh and the enemy.
In what ways have I been hesitant to move beyond my comfort zone and into the greater things God has for me? In EVERY way. Yet, in every way, I choose to keep going. In every way, I choose to surrender. In every way, I choose to obey. Help me Lord.
Ajene,
I’m so glad you read and posted here and continued the discussion on your blog today. The process God takes us through is not always easy but necessary for our development. Praise God the you choose to keep going and obeying Him.