My mom used to hire a babysitter so she could take a nap. I was too young to remember this, but my mom relayed this to me in my adult years. I used to think what she did was extravagant but only said to her “Really?” Why spend good money on a sitter and you are still at home? Of course, now having little ones of my own, I completely understand. While I haven’t yet hired a sitter to take a nap, after coming home from running errands a sitter has offered to stay so I could take a nap. I have taken advantage of some of these offers, but other times in my twisted strong black woman way I refused because I thought if I am physically present I SHOULD be able to take care of my own kids. But my mama knew that she needed not just a present body but a well working body and mind and emotions to deal with the three children she had within 2 ½ years, and she had no problem getting a sitter to do that, to reclaim herself. Sometimes when my mama would rest, I thought she was just being selfish. I now know she was just being smart. So I plan to activate a Smart Plan of my own and STICK to it this time. Starting now, I will
Daily—spend at least 1/2 hour alone, taking a walk, reading or just “sitting and looking one way,” as my aunt says.
Weekly—visit my one of my favorite spots (a coffee shop, library, or farmer’s market), watch a movie or have an in home spa day.
Monthly—go out to listen to poetry or jazz or do something else equally captivating.
Quarterly—go to a day spa or hair salon.
Annually—take a trip without my hubby and children.
I know these times of refreshment along with my spiritual disciplines will fortify me as a strong biblical woman, the only strong woman I should ever strive to be. How about you? What is your Smart Plan and how has it helped you? If you don’t have one, what is yours going to look like? Please comment. What you say may just help another sister take a much needed break.
Copyright 2010 by Rhonda J. Smith
Amen, Amen. I need to join on this. Though I have just 1.5 children, I swear the fight for me continues. And having to have a job outside the home, piles on the guilt and divides up the time even further, because I still have to find extra time for my baby. I need someone to sit at home and to go sit on the job, both of which I praise God for.
* let me know when we are hitting the spa. LoL
Very good points, Rhonda. All of us mothers struggle with this, whether we work in or out of the home. The bottom line is that we can’t give the best to our families if we are exhausted, mentally weary and worn the hell out. It’s easier said than done, but many women have no problem hiring a maid, nanny, cook, etc. Not quite sure about the nanny, (the maid and cook sound good!) but with three kids and a business, there are many times that I just want another ME!
Yes, cloning would solve a lot of busy women issues, wouldn’t it? LOL. Thanks for commenting, Tenisha.
Join me, Nik. Like I said to Tenisha, cloning would solve a lot of our issues. And, yes, I’ll let you know about the spa.